Life Lesson #27: If you have worse rectal control than one of the golden girls; seek out another hobby. Last time I saw someone pay for skidmarking this abusive he was ultimately banned from Chipotle at the corporate level. (it was me) [more]
Super hot but prob spends all day yappin like her defenses are impenetrable, then 1 goink to the wrinkled copper slot makes her hit windows_shutdown.wav. #msc
The story may be 10lbs of bullshit. But at least it's employment bullshit and not inter-family uncle dad father dishwasher bullshit. That's real progress. [MiaKink]
Especially if u aren't stone cold sober during daylight hours. One wrong angle and you run the risk of turning her innie into an outtie. It's called "the heat seeking carmel farmer" and it's the #3 reason for divorce, right behind finances & Reddit.
Eyes like Steve Buscemi, squirts like a fire hydrant and looks like the all-Klonopin diet is holding on for dear life. In other words; You will never be this erect again.
Definitely a more pleasant experience than my first time witnessing this behavior in the butcher's line of a Whole Foods. Apparently expiration dates are negotiable.
Looks like the kind of video set up by a guy one anime character re-voicing away from a total nervous breakdown. Lesson learned I guess? Never trust the AirBNB advertisement with the words "my mom only works nightshift" in the fine print.
More use of a fish eye lens than a Bam Margera skateboard compilation and exceptional proportions have manifested in the greatest compliment our boy has gotten since the glory days of Yahoo chat. Life can only go down from here.
Pretty decent. You'd probably give up the last half of your Costco chicken bake if she could teach your girlfriend how to do this without a handle of Smirnoff first.
Not sure what actually happened here, but it doesn't look like an unannounced serving of Jossepi's homemade alfredo sauce was the reason for a time out. If you listen closely, it sounds like a neighbor was tired of the female's mating calls.
Halfway into this you may say to yourself: I haven't come across so much reason to develop erectile dysfunction on purpose since going down the lore on [this social media creature]. It truly is an unfortunate day to have functioning eyes.
Installing the "deprive myself of oxygen until I have the IQ of a bowl of spaghetti-o's" expansion pack may not be for everyone, but it's unquestionably a challenge.
Congratulations on managing to turn your penis into a freefall lifeboat. It's quite the achievement. Now if u could kindly drag that thing back to the petting zoo where it belongs it would be appreciated. Esmeralda seems to have hit her limit.
