At this point, I don't even question human behavior. The only thing separating us from being narrated by David Attenborough, are complicated sneakers and semi-automatic weapons. Turns out the Internet may have been a mistake after all.
Seems like a nice girl. The type that'd throw herself off a building if you missed a text, or cheat on you if your Instagram post got zero likes. But her enthusiasm? I've seen happier faces cleaning the handicap toilets at Renaissance Fairs. Pass.
Those deflated pigskins look pretty rough for a 20-something year old and the rest of her collection screams Double Wide Pride. Free tip m'lady; Spend less money on the "I NEED CUM" rubber stamps, and more on a fucking vacuum.
2:20 mark for this one. Bobby Lee drops 6 years worth of Steam Gift cards on one of the businesses top prospects, only to be met with the same kind of disgust I get when trying to pay for sex with nickles. I'm sorry I thought this was America?
Attend a budget bachelor party in Las Vegas on any given Friday, and you're sure to end up touchin tips with a girl that dispenses more threatening fluids than a Mountain Dew vending machine. And today my friends, there is no exception.
Linking this for the comment section below. Check out the ongoing meltdown e-fight she's having with other users. Something about a girl Internet screaming "YOURE IDIOT!" at "Mrhugec0ck" really drives home the authenticity for me.
Windows Movie Maker, 240p resolution and less testosterone than a Mazda Miata. The only combination more deadly than freebasing the colonel's secret recipe.
Brea Bennett for the uninformed. How can I describe her? Well, she was basically the Nikki Cox of early 2000's era porn, had the rectal capacity of a garbonzo bean and always DFA. Just another diamond that never got her proper time to shine.
Public restrooms + stepping in unidentified fluids. Not exactly the most shocking combination. But I'll say this; Those tits are marvelous. Just big enough to become an OnlyFans millionaire, not big enough to create another Hulk Hogan hate crime.
I'm not exactly sure how these scenarios materialize, but I'll take a stab at it: [Guy 1]: "hey we should pretend my african american acquaintance is a delivery guy & i'll walk in on him clam bashing u"[Girl 1]: "huh?"[Guy 2]"aite" Many such cases.
Had to look up our guide to stranger danger because I couldn't remember the last time I saw her put new content out. It seems she quit a while back, and that's a shame. Those Tinder videos she was making were borderline medical journals.
A lot of questions arise while shuffling through this one, but none more pertinent than the 16:13 mark. Why is there a queen size mattress in the fucking bathroom?
Today's menu? Uninsurable throat damage, the strongest rectum in Texas, more chain mail than Scott Steiner's closet, a recipe banned from 78% of Gordon Ramsay's restaurants and an erection even Penn and Teller can't explain to you.
At first I thought we were finally getting a sequel to Feminist Attacks Cocky Stripper. Unfortunately she's not even close to being a copycat of the flank shanking legend, leaving the deep void in my heart unfulfilled yet again. #sad
#of: For half the cost of a Raising Cane's combo meal, u too can be subjected to whatever toxicology violations are lurking behind those master class Double-D's.
