60 seconds of clitoral stimulation directly in front of the cash register just cost Becky and her boyfriend a lifetime of 12 dollar el grande chocolatto carmellos.
Rarely do I say this... but she is a single crotch hair away from a Dunkin Donuts breakfast taco on my dime. Let the simp sleuth searching of her identity begin.
What's that old saying? If a technique was used to kill a person in a horror movie, some degenerate from Fuckstick Akansas is practicing it in the back of his third cousin's double wide? Because I'm pretty sure that's what were all seeing here.
I thought this was your everyday girl for a second, but it's none other than Alexis Crystal practically being fucked into early retirement. More brain damage [HERE]
uhh forget the permeating aroma of sardines now trapped in mom's throw rug forever for a second; is that a mother fuckin Panasonic Gamecube behind her?
This is why u always round up your CVS bill to the next dollar. In the words of the world's greatest philosopher: “Whatever it takes to save the earth, 'cause granola girls, gets 'em all moist. Homeless girls too. They'll do anything for shelter." - CB
Made me think about the underground sludge deathcore viking metal show I saw last week. It went from casual music festival, to full blown AIDS epidemic when 1 reckless cunt turned her vj into a full serve car wash. I YELP'd the venue 5-stars.
An increasingly disturbing fetish keeps picks up more steam, but this time the female in question is a total right-swipe. Her snargleburger gets more attention than Elon Musk's Twitter and all I can do is wonder why. New Jersey's finest.
Taps out after 40 seconds of anal and can't take a cumshot without coughing up this morning's corn pops? Afraid that puts u on my no-fap blacklist. Somewhere between Joe Rogans podcast & the final episode of The Golden Girls. #standards
She's been here before, but the content train keeps chugging along. I particularly enjoy her 'less fucks to give than a dark souls speedrunner' attitude. If comps aren't your thing, you can scoop her individual sex tapes here: [-1-] [-2-] [-3-]
ex·per·i·menting:
· to try out new concepts or ways of doing things
· performing a scientific procedure, to determine something
· to let your parents find out what those clam baking classes were for
The e-thots of yesteryear did everything imaginable for nothing more than access to a bottomless keg. Twitter didn't exist, OnlyFans wasn't a thought; It was just a campus full of 18-year-olds on the hunt for their next case of rabid vaginitis.
It looks like someone trying to parallel park a Baskin Robbins truck in New York City. Which is ironic cause squinting from this angle reveals some sort of inbred squidward ice cream bar. Think about that before tagging in your tube sock.
At this point, I don't even question human behavior. The only thing separating us from being narrated by David Attenborough, are complicated sneakers and semi-automatic weapons. Turns out the Internet may have been a mistake after all.
Seems like a nice girl. The type that'd throw herself off a building if you missed a text, or cheat on you if your Instagram post got zero likes. But her enthusiasm? I've seen happier faces cleaning the handicap toilets at Renaissance Fairs. Pass.
Oh it's her again. I'm not actually sure what category this library of hers belongs in, but somewhere in between "Hogwarts Erotica" and "Menopause" feels right.
Take Sarah Palin, crossbreed her with a cum-phobic gerbil and this would be the result. Sweet mother of fucking cringe, I haven't seen someone this far out of their comfort zone since Burger King released their ultimate breakfast platter.
