Not since walking into a waffle house at 2 AM have I seen such disrespect for the lower half of a brown female. And just like the riot that ended that night, he has no intent of letting $39 worth of plastic surgery go to waste.
Technique can redeem just about anything - bad hygiene, irregular tits, liking The Big Bang Theory. But HER? She's got skills like a Chinese flutist & all I can think about is pairing her up with up with this genetic jackhammer.
Great face. Nice body. But what really got me on board was the complete lack of logic. Look closely. No brains, no thoughts. So cute you'd almost forget this happens when they get more than half a can into their mouths.
Don't let the heart-shaped buttplug fool you. This girl has zero love for strangers and their upholstery. Such as illustrated after she downtowns her charlie brown... which the driver somehow is totally unaware of. Hilarious.
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Dare give your pocket change to a girl with one of these things crammed up her barking walrus, and you'll be rewarded with more shakes than an epileptic with a day pass to Six Flags. SPOILER ALERT: Bitches be faking.
Easily the most deplorable attempt at sexual assault to ever grace my 13" Amiga computer monitor. And that's coming from a man who's seen more than 18 straight minutes of an Adam Sandler movie. My opinion counts.
The more colors in her hair, the crazier the bitch is. A simple concept... and one that's officially reinforced thanks to this 97lb puddle slut farming the fuck out. Put it this way: Just watching her gave me Hep-C. It's that serious.
Her boyfriend's the kinda dude that gets so high, he tries to vacuum his own shadow. Clearly this is a girl that's no stranger to surprise trips to the gynecologist.
If I may be so bold, I'll speak for everyone here: I can forgive the low-grade cellphone quality. I can look past Ned Flander's head blocking half the shot. But giving us .GIF over .MP4? 0/10 you ungenerous, greedy shitbag.
Everybody is born with a gift. Unfortunately theirs is about as useful as Bruce Jenner's vagina. Sure, they can trace the history of the gluteus maximus via one touch, but will that really help greet us at Walmart?
Stripping: aka the quintessential stepping stone to full blown porno. Most trailer park residents cross over ASAP - but chances are they weren't gifted the Carrot Top prop-bag of genitalia. This ones gonna be just fine.
Selena plops a double serving of guacamole right on the dance floor and straight up doesn't give a fuck. EDIT: Upon closer review it looks like she was trying to dunk into the garbage can, but missed a layup instead LOL
If you're the type of guy that gets enjoyment out of unsuspecting migrants being surprised by grade-A southern California tit jobs, Elay is the girl for you. Not your style? Feel free to take a gander at this instead.
Ass like Nicki Minaj? Shameless, nude self-promotion on Twitter? The majority of you have already clicked by now, without catching a view of the churro de maricon dangling up front. If you must blame, blame yourself.
Dirty Sanchezes, Donkey Punches - pretty timid stuff by today's Internet-standard. But check out #3. It's unarguably the most repulsive shit I've seen since Jaden Smith's Twitter account.
For those that don't speak nachos grande, here's the scoop: The evolutionary cul-de-sac you're looking at is Beshine. At 20 lbs a piece, she holds the record for biggest mistakes on Earth, Jupiter and Deep Space 9.