Almost got her to perform the coveted 180ยบ eye roll maneuver halfway into this tutorial for making grammas old fashioned mashed potatoes (depression era). And for that, I and the CEO of Depends Undergarments for Adults thanks you.
Potato quality footage, daytime gallery shoppers and talks of a Sloppy Benjamin - I'll admit, they had me in the first half. Then I realized she's pornstar Kristy Black.
I'll admit that last clip might be enough to ruin your holiday feast later today. But it's Thanksgiving and you probably need something to talk to grandma about before the sweet potatoes hit the table. You should be thanking me, Mortimer.
Dude is hung like an Idaho potato, and she's got the kind of crazy eyes that would send Steve Buscemi running. Normally this kind of inbreeding would be kept behind closed doors until a Twitter hashtag is created for it... yet here we are.
Step sister, third cousin, disabled mental patient that smells like expired mashed potatoes; You degenerates can label this video with whatever tags you want, nothing short of contracting buttpox is stopping a dive below that waistline.
This is about as unintentional as me using Cowabunga Bay Water's wave pool as my own personal porta potty. Apologies to visitors between years of 1997 - 2015.
I definitely went down the rabbit hole on this one. Looks like we have an amateur porn site that *gasp* features real amateur porn and not big studio fakes, shot on dads Nokia flip phone. Ya just earned a lifetime bookmark from me fleshed.com.
Haven't seen that kind of disorientation in a white girl's eyes since Starbucks offered 2x points on a non-holiday. And much like inhaling $18.00 worth of overcooked coffee beans, a price will be paid for jamming that down her throat.
Brag about the body count you paid for all you want bruh. If you're not turning all western vaginas into a bowl of Hungry Jack Mashed Potatoes, is it even worth it?
#nostalgia Just scroll to 1:22 and remember what it was like when the only thing that mattered in life was how low you could get your ping on a 56k modem, and your stock of BAWLS GAMER JUICE. Truly a simpler time for a simpler world.
Rebecca's first time in Stinktown USA proves memorable. For the guy trying to double-dip, not her. Binging Dr. Phil episodes is going to erase this memory faster than me getting permabanned from Home Depot for stress testing toilet displays.
Just what in the fuck is going on here? Sneaky camera angles? Or are we actually witnessed the mating ritual of a Tyrannosaurus Rex? I don't know man, but one thing is for sure: Straight White Cervix Lives most definitely do not matter today.
Rarely do I say this... but she is 1 crotch hair away from a Burger King Breakfast Bowl on my dime. Unfortunately my potato spud wouldn't make it past stroke 4.
Blatant use of vaginas, Public shaming, High definition cameras -- this video is more well-rounded than the Grand Slam breakfast bill I ran out on this morning. The kicker is in the last video clip. Really brings me back to the glory (hole) days.
This girl has an emotional breakdown so I assumed the obvious - dude loves his jumbo asparagus. But upon a 2nd viewing, I spotted a wedding band. This is the part where I'm supposed to call her a whore. Personally, I'd rather smell her butt.
You can go ahead and brag about your 14 inches of lethal force all you want bruh. If you're not using it to turn all white vaginas into a bowl of Bob Evans Mashed Potatoes, it's about as useful as a hot shower is to this mentally stable female.
Turns out using your velvet buzzsaw as a communal carpet cleaner isn't offensive to everybody. Let this be definitive proof that testosterone still exists in the world.
Short list of things I value in life: Cottonelle Ultra Comfort Care and inexperienced females, like this one in particular. Tack on the fact that she looks like pre-Civil War Pepper Pots and we're talking perfection here.
Cute Girls + Public Exploration: It's a combo 2nd only to Souplantation and Charmin Ultra Soft. Add the rush of getting caught busting one out next to Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, and you got wife material my friend.
