I can forgive the potato-grade video quality. I understand the lack of names to prevent Instagram stalking. But cutting off the girls @3:39 before they ran to use honey dijon as lubricant? ZERO/5 stars you simple-minded, incredulous fuck bag.
warning: the i'm close enough to smell the chic-fil-a polynesian sauce position is not approved for women over 35 or those with pre-existing vertebrae conditions.
Almost feels like the b-roll footage out of a semi modern day slasher flick. He's gonna feel about as awkward as the brown dude every time Captain Planet came on screen begging for help once he realizes his cock is all over 3% of the Internet.
1 part hypebeast, 14 parts herpes simplex two. Surely my user base doesn't need a PSA on the reasons not to raw dog a girl that considers Fruit Stripe gum a luxury item. But just in case I've given too much faith, do not try this one at home.
Awesome tits. Outgoing personality. Decent depth perception. 9/10, would subject my sacred Taylor Swift edition cumsock to all 6 seconds of this again.
$20.00 and the last bite of my Cheeseburger Hamburger Helper says she uses dumbass phrases like "amazeballs and ""awesome sauce" and "i'll kill you if I find you hiding in my bushes with a camera again mother fucker". Typical millennial.
Sometimes you feel so awkward watching something, you actually want it to be fake. That dude with the coagulated cheeseburger locker gut says otherwise...
If you're the kind of person that enjoys peak sigma male behavior, then this is the video for you. I'm talking the kind of blueprint that guy who used to dress up as a latex demon and run into the woods to shove leaves up his ass couldn't follow.
Much like an over-hyped celebrity bitch slapping his martial troubles away in front of a confused audience, this specimen ran out of integrity a long time ago. Now wipe up the slime you left near the bagel bites, we have company coming over.
I was going to leave something pleasant here, then I came across one of the most porpospterous displays of OnlyFans shilling I've seen (this month). Sorry lady, I will be reserving my next post-clarity night of nutting for the Sears Catalogue.
Imagine putting trust in a man that has been through this disaster and lived to tell the tale. Time for Alyssa to pack up those meatballs and reassess the future.
Sometimes I ask myself, how exactly did we get this far as a society? Then I remember Reddit has 50 million active users and it all starts to make sense.
If that isn't the look of a girl that's said "i' use dijon mustard as lubricant with for neighbor's mailbox" at Thanksgiving dinner, u can slap my bag & call me Sally. Now flip her over - I don't think Lorenzo got enough AIDS during his first pump.
Inflation is nearing 8%, gas costs more than your 3rd divorce... and you're burning through c-notes so you can jack yourself off with Ginger-Lynn's pinky crammed up your cinnamon ring? Dave Ramsey is gonna shit his appropriately priced pants.
Dude's hung like a boomerang and she's 1 Netflix marathon away from a mid-life crisis. In other words: This is the greatest love story our generation has ever seen.
sry, can't verify more than 1% of these participants are married. But tomorrow is 3:16 day and I've had enough pre-gamed steveweisers to make that ninja turtle in the 1st pic look doable. All I'm sayin is, the garbanzo bean has been activated.
This is called Taking a Swedish Bike Ride. It happens when those dudes with above-average girth fail lubrication preparation. So they pump harder... til a breaking point hits. Somewhere between the 3rd & 4th second degree burns.
