One of those moments where u truly wonder if the dude wifed her or knifed her. It's adventurous buttholes like hers that make a man think about bending a knee.
I can't imagine how many security deposits had to be forfeited before she learned not to film these things. I respect the adrenaline rush, but the only road this behavior leads to is paved with Plan B and a whole lot of fucking apologies.
This condition is known as 'high maintenance'. It happens when dad stops loving you before ur 1st year of college, so you seek the refuge of sigma males that don't know the difference between ur sphincter and a Rocky Balboa training montage.
One sudden move makes those lips swing around like a Basset Hound's ears during a tropical storm, and you want us to believe David's mini Twinkie is a threat to you? Keep the bullshit on TikTok, Becky - we're not buying it today.
4 min tutorial on why u stay away from those folks that consider a $50 Mernard's gift card some form of foreplay. Remember Norman Vincent's words: “Always shoot for the moon. Even if you miss it, you'll still land among the hepatitis."
Kinda impressive to be honest. The average man would willingly inhale the frappuccinos out of her entitled shitbasket just to say they were in the same room as her. You can go ahead and consider your penis retired my good man.
28 semesters of Botswanian dance theory paid for, and this is how you return the favor, Becky? You are now a disgrace to the once great town of Ballbag, Arkansas.
Replace "sister with "myself" and "surprised" with "initiating a level 4 code red biohazard" and this bathroom video suddenly becomes relatable. Side Note: Never trust the color green at a Mexican restaurant. There is no happy endings.
Camgirl Porn: Sometimes these chicks are as exciting as an audio book of Newt Gingrich customizing a bowl at Chipotle. But throw in a pair of glasses and a girl that pays the vagisil bill with e-tokens, and it becomes a legend in the making.
Like making it past the 7 min mark of the new Matrix movie, Sandra realizes a mistake has been made and there's no refunds. Now stitch that mud box up and get back in the game, BonERGuy67_IDAHO just dropped $5.00 worth of tokens.
Today we learn three crucial things, so grab your colored pencils and pay attention: #1: Voyeurism is alive and well #2: Sexual misconduct is always negotiable. And #3: Lifetime bans from Macy's aren't a big deal. Lets get it.
I'm thinking it might be best if you restrict your boyfriend from all documentary featuring Big Foot from now on. Either that or start fucking a lawn mower instead. It would probably be easier to explain those noises to the neighbors next time.
Things I've watched until the end: [1] All 67 volumes of SSBBW Ivy and Friends [2] The Star Wars Holiday Special [3] Game of Thrones Season 8. Things that have made me tap out instantly: [1] This [2] This video [3] This mother fucking video.
From this angle it appears she's fucking an eggplant. But upon closer inspection you'll realize that's non-other than the shitter fritter himself: Woodman. aka The Machine. aka the man who lived through more STDs than all the 1970s combined.
Downside to living with a depraved girl from Frogballs Arkansas? Every time you get half a hard-on, it's time to perform. And then there's the other end of the spectrum: Girls with daddy issues, but not enough Plan-B to fulfill their destiny.
Seems this B-tier porn LARPer has acquired some sort of certification from the city? Back in my day this jobber would have laid down for the 3 count without a gimmick and put the legend over. And dammit, she would have liked it. (brother)
There's a very thin (blood)line between what's acceptable and what isn't in the world of amateur porn. Admittedly I'm not telling you I know exactly where that line exists... but I do know Ned Flanders just fucking diddly doodly crossed it.
This one is for the homies that asked me wtf happened to that girl who looks like Sarah Palin crossbreed her with a gerbil? As fate would have it, not even a pandemic slowed down her quest to hate cum on a budget. Yikes and gadzooks.
Margery and her whacky genetics have some fucking explaining to do. Personally, I think she should find a way to increase size by at least 30%. I hear right around Quadruple-K cups is when those real disability checks should start pouring in.
