Potato quality footage, daytime gallery shoppers and talks of a Sloppy Benjamin - I'll admit, they had me in the first half. Then I realized she's pornstar Kristy Black.
Only the real ones will remember when this cockamanie goof getting sent to Fuck Town USA was pretty much the most watched porn video in the world. It didn't matter what site you dedicated your cum sock to, it was there. For eternity.
Imagine documenting last nights Smirnoff-inspired gangbang and going viral in two completely different ways at the same time. #herpes #snapchat #effecient
Protip for my ever-evolving female viewer base: If you ever find yourself in this situation, make sure you order the blooming onion first. Outback servers tend to frown upon this kind of behavior out of the gate. Don't ask me how I know.
If you're into the kind of erotica that reminds you of the black market for hackey sacks and burned Blink 182 CD's, you should probably throw them a few bucks.
I'll admit that last clip might be enough to ruin your holiday feast later today. But it's Thanksgiving and you probably need something to talk to grandma about before the sweet potatoes hit the table. You should be thanking me, Mortimer.
Just what in the fuck is actually going on here? Is she green screening her husband with 5 overlays to make it look like the local janitor union is lining up to get their own serving of anal crabs to go? We've reached the peak of technology.
Nearly 20-years-old and still doesn't know how to speak coherently. But what she lacks in basic motor function, she makes up for in grade-A prime meats. i'm sold
Just remembering when Gabbie Carter was the Internet's most wanted. Now, the amount of early aging porn causes has come into question again. [2019] [2021 ] inb4 we witness a union that classifies rectal trauma as a benefits package?
It seems a 2-pack of Bud Light turns you into the Gandolf of parking lot pussy pickups... and today his teachings are all free of charge. Practice what you see here and I promise those, size-11 Tinder girls will never "LMAO" at you again.
Aften Opal. Not a common name you see around these parts. Probably because it sounds like her parents were knee deep in Runescape quests when they came up with it. And much like OSRS, you don't need a big rig to please her. More [HERE]
Look, I understand setting realistic expectations for yourself in life... but maybe we can try to do better than communal ashtray next time? I believe in you.
