If only she put as much effort into those art classes as she does into her Spider-Man BJs, maybe that twat wouldn't be behind a paywall. I like you, I'll fap to you - but the pedestal is still reserved for Six from Blossom.
Skip to the end. The part where he goes 4th of July inside the walls of her meat wallet. If the consistency of his brand doesn't scream 'i maintain a steady diet of yogurt, honey & Elmer's glue' I don't know what does.
If only the planet of ham from this classic were here today, we could get his approval. Or h8 since his only documented contact is with Ralph Macchio. Point is: Karate Kid is a good movie and deserves our respect.
One time something Japanese-related decides not to censor genitalia... it involves a love doll built for Verne Troyer. But the key phrase today is: LOVE STORY. This has one that would make Twilight shit it's pants in envy.
3 groups of degenerates that have truly mastered the art of public debauchery. Blondie doing the 24 dong taste test may be a (worthy) repost, but Mr. Bean's sidewalk slam and the camel sliders sure as shit aren't.
An eight minute crash course on how to squeeze every shekel out of your favorite vagrant - as illustrated by a guy that barks out more instructions than a fucking ride at 6 Flags. It's priceless information really. Trust me.
S'n some D only has a few rules: Minimal teeth usage and keep the c-rings away from all other jewelry. Not a hard list but this backpage.com alumni decides to test fate anyway, resulting in an epic rage quit. GG NO RE
Stripping: aka the quintessential stepping stone to full blown porno. Most trailer park residents cross over ASAP - but chances are they weren't gifted the Carrot Top prop-bag of genitalia. This ones gonna be just fine.
1 part mystery, 13 parts WTF. Confusion starts with the Thor-like climax at 2:44. Said goober then begins to flop around like an adderall-deficient retard. WHY? Only his gyno and Shaquille O'Neal's wife have that answer.
FACT: 99.98% of YouTube prank videos are faker than every head of hair behind a Burger King cash register. But this GF bitch puts legitimacy to the final test when she commits testicular revenge not yet documented.
Going mach-17 on your clitoris in order to produce your first non-Harry Potter related climax? Cool. Seizing up like you got tazed in the asshole with a car battery? Not so cool. What in the fuck did I just ejaculate to?
Dare to browse grandpa's pre-VHS war chest of adult videos and this is the gold you'll strike. An era of pr0n where incest was not only encouraged, but calling your daughter a twat was considered "foreplay". Hilarious.
Attention whore diddles her clit in the fast lane, hoping to distract a man in charge of 40 tons of steel. Victory is semi-achieved halfway in, ending with no more than a thumbs up & Katy Perry high notes. Rules of the road.
Public oyster shucking. Doesn't try to hide it. Doesn't care that Hot Topic's day shift is spectating. This MILF couldn't give less than a shit about the world around her and I respect that. Neglect porn should be a thing.
Incestual behavior and trailer park tattoos aside, Niki's momma is one hot piece of ass. Too bad her tits have more fix-a-flat in them than a Pep Boys. This is what happens when the state stops charging her EBT card.
Increasingly fucked up video of a girl that picked the wrong day to commando. Her piss biscuit gets more airtime than a Superbowl commercial & all the guys spectating can do is say "HERE WE GO". ATL's finest.
5+ mins of homemade roleplay victim sex. So faptastic I canceled my dinner date @ Burger King just so I could re-watch it all day. TIP: I cancel 100% grade-F horse meat burgers for nobody. THAT'S how good this vid is.
Fresh out of an Arby's parking lot and new to the ride & glide scene, this spring-loaded slut bounces her way to redneck superstardom. The flannel shirt gourmet knows this isn't porn. It's preparation for a marriage proposal.
Dirty Sanchezes, Donkey Punches - pretty timid stuff by today's Internet-standard. But check out #3. It's unarguably the most repulsive shit I've seen since Jaden Smith's Twitter account.
Tits like a 2x4, anal has a 30 sec time limit and facials send her running. If there's an instructional video out there on what not to do during your first porn scene, I'd recon this derp just paved the way for a sequel.
