oh yeah, I've heard that one before. Same goes for prostitution and the night shift at White Castle. And they all end the same way: Full of grade-F beef and regrets.
Imagine swallowing enough beef to spiral the vegan community out of control, then proclaim it's not for the money. Here's a free tip: It might be more believable if you say it without the echo your butthole is emitting after doing that scene lol.
Right-swipe of the year takes a stroll down buttblast boulevard in an attempt to expand her reach on social media. Little weak TBH. I've seen assholes getting stretched wider than that in the comments under any given Logan Paul video.
She's not exactly equipped with the poker face of Clint Eastwood. So when the that wasnt a fart reaction washes over her, you know it's authentic. Reminiscent of a reoccurring dream I have involving Lizzo and all 31 flavors of Baskin Robbins
I'm sorry lady, but if you need half of Auto Zone crammed up your smurf box on top of a penis, you may be desensitized. Or from Vietnam. Dilation is important.
This ones starts off as a painal video. But much like me during a theatrical release that stars Nicholas Cage, that only lasts about 18 seconds. From there on it's all pleasure. And by pleasure I mean screaming for olive oil-based lubricants.
I originally thought this kind of situation wouldn't be a possibility outside of the family in Resident Evil 7. And then I remembered West Virginia exists. #justfacts
The best part of keeping a travel-sized Thai-hole on your payroll? Budget banging no matter how "eco-friendly" your $17/night hotel room is for starters. Also AIDS.
Good ole TikTok. It's like VINE, but more nudity and less dipshits that consider Call of Duty a rights of passage. Also it has Bree Louise's bare ass tit/vajee combo.
5+ minutes of implied family porn even Dr. Phil wouldn't touch. I think it's pretty safe to say 2020 has officially jumped the shark when it comes to sister swagging.
Blatant use of vaginas, Public shaming, High definition cameras -- this video is more well-rounded than the Grand Slam breakfast bill I ran out on this morning. The kicker is in the last video clip. Really brings me back to the glory (hole) days.
Think it's all freshman-year waistlines and Google Translating the cost of a Filipino corncobbing? Think again my stereotyped friend. Your sheckles would be better spent on your sister's braces. At least then you'd cum in under 24 hrs.
What's that old saying again? Once you go black you almost lose your uterus in a domestic street fight, get ejected from your tiki hut, and see the business end of a Ginsu knife? Because... that's exactly what happened here. Shit's fucked up yo.
Listen up Patrick: when it comes time to splurge mom's xmas money this holiday season - try making it a worthwhile investment. Like a Kindle Fire. Or a noose.
Classic case of overconfidence. If only she put as much research into the elasticity of the rectal cavity as she did into her Warby Parker frames, then maybe this permanent mark on her resume could have been avoided. Live, Learn and Burn.
This girl has an emotional breakdown so I assumed the obvious - dude loves his jumbo asparagus. But upon a 2nd viewing, I spotted a wedding band. This is the part where I'm supposed to call her a whore. Personally, I'd rather smell her butt.
If only she put this much effort into not dressing like a Salvadorian street walker, maybe I wouldn't be talking to a therapist about my sexual attraction to Reeses peanut butter cups this weekend. Thanks Linda. You'll receive the invoice soon.
