So, what's the explanation this time? Normally guys that look like the result of crossbreeding the cast of Napoleon Dynamite with a cantaloupe are incapable of securing cooter of this quality. I'm open to suggestions. [more]
Not since paying backpage.com's finest in pennies have you seen a sexual arrangement become such a challenge. A hooker with a 'no tits no blowjob' policy? Congratulations on being more useless than a chocolate teapot.
Don't let the cute face & lack of Valtrex in this video fool you: Even the hot ones make mistakes in the eternal quest for 11 seconds of Instagram fame.
I've seen this configuration before: Cute Whole Foods cashier above the waist, John Deer lawn aerator below it. I'd contact my local feminist chapter for false advertising, but I've already filled my tube sock & it's time for bed.
Fart assaults, bitch slappings, clit sniping - I thought I've seen it all when it comes to Internet prostitution. And once again, I was dead fucking wrong.
Not since the days of blindly acquiring porn ala 5600 baud Limewire have I come across a female with such seminal fortitude. She's got standards brah. Know who doesn't have standards? THIS WIND TUNNEL. #sendhelp
Are you seeing that body language? I know that body language. Roughly translated it means: if you pull out again, I'll park my Kia Soul in your asshole next time you fall asleep. Go ahead, ask me. Ask me how I know.
Not since walking into a waffle house at 2 AM have I seen such disrespect for the lower half of a brown female. And just like the riot that ended that night, he has no intent of letting $39 worth of plastic surgery go to waste.
Degenerate hoebag works feverishly to get sexually assaulted by a guy with more V's in his name than a Russian dictionary... and doesn't come close to succeeding. Enjoy your 0-star YELP review Victor Vahdeem Vyachvyeslahv!
Can't imagine how many E.R. vists had to be falsified before she found the sweet spot. I respect the exploration, but the only road this fetish ultimately leads to is Dennis Rodman and strategically placed cream cheese.
Becky shats herself upon realizing her next FB Live appearance won't be a pretty one. I haven't seen such an intense look of confusion and despair since that time I got caught beta testing display toilets at Home Depot.
HIM: Dressed like a level 65 COD Lieutenant
HER: Dressed like Corey Feldman during an audition
Some love stories just aren't written with happy endings.
A hygiene level commonly found in an Arby's handicap toilet has applied itself to this girl's rectal passage. Not shocking... but Clorox may have found it's new spokeswoman. Another desperate cry for anal bleaching HERE
Take notes ladies. If your class isn't flocking to extra credit assignments like political correctness to H&M, then you're doing it wrong. Honor rollers, detention scholars - nobody is safe from the charm of this dump truck.
Josefina cut corners trying to emulate her hero. Turns out the $25 special at an Islamic plastic surgeon isn't the high ticket item originally thought. Now she's gotta live the rest of her life looking like Tim Burton's asshole LOL
