If anything at all, this should teach you that double fisting a pair of white Monsters before shooting your debut sex tape is an idea that at least deserves a second thought. Calm the fuck down Magnus, this is supposed to be a duet.
There's no false advertising when it comes to Kenzie Reeves. If nature had a way of organically producing portable pocket pussies for the average man to carry around with in public, this 78lb spinner body would be the fucking blueprint for it.
If u've ever seen these handicap south american fuck marathons, u wonder wtf is the end game here? bc some of these participants are going to need a round the clock team of medical professionals to stitch some of those flaps back together.
Ah yes, Ella Kai. She was getting some crazy moment for a minute there in late 2019, and then Covid shut her public sluttery down quicker than an unlicensed rat meat vendor in New York City. If you don't already know the lore, catch up [here]
wtf risks r u guys taking? Barely vertical, frothing at the mouth and seems to be nocturnal; No this isn't David Attenborough's latest commentary on the northern copperhead snake. But someone's gonna need anti-venom before this is over.
Scroll to the 4:20 mark for the definitive highlight of this sacrilegious compilation of misguided deviants. I promise that your disappointment is nearly impossible.
You know you've hit peak ridiculous when this is the least shocking thing on your resume. You probably already know who Lily Phillips is so I'll spare the intros and/or bacterial cultures, but feel free to have a chuckle at her newest stunt.
Not all of today's most gifted participants were born with the poker face of Clint Eastwood. So when you bare witness to the equivalent of a vaginal SCUD missile, understand it took practice to get here. More reasons to uninstall the Internet: [x]
A classic tale, that still to this day has not been explained. Overreaction? A connoisseur of asparagus and cabbage? Or another man that has mastered the art of skeet shooting without a gun? Unfortunately the world may never know.
Not exactly someone you're gonna ignore, but her facial expressions scream "i just got done assisting my third cousin's soak and i'm craving dutch cabbage roles". So perhaps some form of rapscallion trickery should have been expected.
I don't even know what the fuck I'm looking at here, or why it was given the green light for live streaming. But it appears this cave dwelling goblin (zero feng shui) was able to turncoat a rival. Probably brought to you by [Prime™] Energy drinks.
Quite the compliment. So endearing I would consider parting with my first-edition Lindsay Lohan love doll just for a fighting chance at being lost inside her bush fire. The current rehabed Lohan. Not that "snorting tide pods is my zen" version.
If this man's idea of romance is a metaphor for the west being able to raise those population numbers, I'd say this is proof we are buttfucked. Unironically of course.
Believe it or not, before the OnlyFans era and studios jumping on the step-sister train; a man that looked like a dislocated thumb could actually convince his girlfriend to act like a semi-functioning sibling and get the Internet to believe it.
Becky Bagels foolishly thinks her road trip to Blowberg is going to be an uneventful one. That is, until her travel guide delivers the payload without as much as a "imma nut" before testing her gag reflex in real time. Many such cases.
The receptacle in question seems to be none other than [Rebel Rhyder]. And after seeing what [she can do] with nothing more than a small hometown dream and [license to mine copper], I'm guessing this is just another Tuesday morning.
Right-swipe of the week takes a stroll down butt blast boulevard in an attempt to expand her social media(s). Kinda weak for these guys tbh. I've seen asses getting stretched wider than that in the comments under any given Coffeezilla playlist.
If uve been gifted the dimensions of a jar of grammas old fashioned marmalade there's only two things left to do. So if you share the same genetics, take notes and consider this Plan C after you get banished from the batting cages for life.
Many moons ago, a girl by the name Spring Thomas single-handedly started the BBC-4-ME movement. Apparently this Melody Parker character was hellbent on outperforming her mentor, and has been in the trenches ever since. More [here]
