It's not every day someone's video title has me scratching all three nuts in bewilderment. But "Dumb Flashlight with Cow Tits"? Not even all 32 volumes of Encyclopedia Britannica is any help & I find my disappointment is immeasurable.
Just when you think it's safe to trust again, some vagabond goes and makes unannounced deposits in your sausage mitten. Was it worth the beating Vladimir?
That's not an actual quote from the video, but it should be. It seems Susana is having a little trouble with broski's maximum depth potential. And by trouble, I mean the kind of organ rearrangement Art The Clown would be impressed by.
5 foot 3, weighs less than a soggy bag of Thanksgiving leftovers and literally can't keep a penis out of her mouth for 19 consecutive seconds. No it's not whoever smoked your ass in that last Arc Raiders game -- It's gotta be kane [mira monroe]
If you think one Dutch girl's journey to turn her rectal cavity into affordable housing is where this type of content ends, you would be right. I wish you were right. And that last clip proves you should have been right. I hate the Internet.
If you think one video of a rando slapping choose-your-own-adventure narration over a fantasized cuck video is weird, wait until you see the rest of his account.
idk who she is but the checklist has already been maxed out: Puts out on date #1. Maintains a consistent diet of cabbage, and has absolutely no respect for the shower mat you borrowed from mom. Are those wedding bells?
Self-proclaimed anaconda smuggler gets humbled after spending < 4.7 seconds on the dark side, leaving her no option but to tap out. The check isn't in the mail.
Like the thunderdome, a Woody casting means two enter but only 1 leaves with a working sphincter. The following rush to Costco's adult diaper section is usually a dark day in the victim's life... but not today. Double BOOM. Double DOOM. [more]
7 mins of screen time and not once did the camera pan down to her luke warm filipe puckered starburst, leaving concerned viewers that they have been duped into participating in false advertising. Have we entered the era of dick-baiting?
Captain Lou Albano's love of replica katana swords and pop tarts has finally attracted someone that doesn't have access to their Nigerian mailman's third cousin's billion dollar bank account. I guess getting it on film should be excepted.
Nothing has been as generous to the amateur porn community as the fish eyed camera lens. Joe Sixpack and his homie Mayonnaise Mike end up looking like people pay a cover charge to feed them at a petting zoo. But we know the truth.
Her body-to-box ratio is insane. Literally carved right out of the blueprint for "girls I would give up red meat just to be in the same room as one of her brappers after a solo speed run of Olive Garden's Tour of Italy". In other words -- I fucks with it.
Probably not the first time she's been fairly compensated for cosplaying as a communal nut pod, but it's gonna be the last time. Sponsored by Coca Cola?
Pay attention to how "she" goes full Chernobyl centaur at the .03 second mark. Then remember that at least half of Instagram users will think this is real, start flirting with it in broken English and try sending it money. half. We're fucked.
Looks like the kind of video set up by a guy one anime character re-voicing away from a total nervous breakdown. Lesson learned I guess? Never trust the AirBNB advertisement with the words "my mom only works nightshift" in the fine print.
Alternate source of income? Unfortunate consequence of normalizing Twitter? Evolution? Try all of the above. Legend has it the last time Little Caesar caught her in the parking lot, a pepperoni famine started. Personally I'm not so sure.
Believe it or not, at one point this spaghetti sauce Elmer Fudd looking mf'er was finger blasting all kinds of college girl gooch on the regular. Honestly not the worst reason to eat that early 401k withdrawal penalty. More shenanigans [here]
