The camera never pans downtown, so we don't know if that blowhole has more gape in it than the San Andreas Fault. But despite her knuckle oven seeing diapers before the age of 30 or not, dude landed himself a bonafide superstar.
idk what kind of Amish paradise rules they agreed to before making the match, but this shit doesn't work for me brother. Interesting loophole though. It's kind of like tax harvesting, where the people watching are the only ones getting fucked.
As fate would have it combining the genetics of a 1st-world pornstar and modern tech yields impressive results. 7 seconds. 7 seconds is all that you will spare her.
Imagine coming home during the witching hour only to find your significant other kneeling down, thorax-deep on Jamal's chopped cheese. (The Harlem original)
Normally it takes an incestuous story line and at least a $20 gift card to Starbucks to get Aubry Babcock on the wet end of an average penis. But today is SPECIAL.
Imagine all the planning, text messages, sneaking around and poker face horse shit she went through only to find out Sanjeet has the endurance of a geriatric garden snail. You can almost pinpoint the moment of her final disappointment.
Velma Gigglebush may look like a non-threat, but don't let it fool you. Behind those bifocals and semi-sanitized vajeen exists a girl that would power fuck your boyfriend/husband/mazda miata if given 3 consecutive unsupervised mins alone.
This was voted the #2 reason to wake up Saturday morning with an unexplained rash in between your ass cheeks. Only falling short to raw dogging The Big Arch.
Classic move, but one that's gonna need more practice if it's going to give Limpin Larry enough motivation to erect the other half of his penis. #cialis. Look into it.
Congratulations to the golden glove duo working that dude's bag like a 19th century gandy dancer (look it up). Homie may have survived all 9 rounds, but he'll never be able to eat applesauce without a war zone flashback ever again.
Gotta admit; That's some impressive distance being covered with each wad. If the rumors of breakdancing being replaced with this at the next Olympics games is true, we may be witnessing a gold medal contender here. Bring on the sponsors.
An avalanche of tits that the most experienced mountain climbers would struggle with. Pair that with a gash that doesn't look like it's been one of the victims of Haddonfield and you're working with some triple A prime beef slab my friends.
Started at the bottom, now we're here. And by here I mean vigorously being tested for sexually transmitted diseases because Derrick from the Walmart parking lot insisted on not using any form of protection during his big moment.
Not even an ounce of hesitation either. That corn husk has definitely missed it's fair share of schedule maintenance intervals, but it's still running like the day it was bought. In other words: Mom's gonna be driving it until the wheels fall off.
7 mins of screen time and not once did the camera pan down to her luke warm filipe puckered starburst, leaving viewers concerned that they have been duped into participating in false advertising. Have we entered the era of "dick-baiting"?
Cece Capella. If you're unaware, this girl single-handedly had a literal choke hold on the gooner scene up until around 2017. I wonder what she's up to tod... [oh]
Look closely and you'll notice the dive bar bathroom graffiti tattoo coverage isn't even at 30%. Unfortunately that means the future will involve heavy machinery.
