30 secs in and 2 things have become apparent: 1) I've been grossly mislead about Nebraska's tourism attractions. And 2) at least 50% of the people in comments below this have ejaculated to fully clothed women in the Nordstrom catalogue.
If that isn't the look of a woman that's said "i've used dijon mustard as lubricant" at the table during Thanksgiving dinner, you can slap my bag and call me Shirley.
Her body-to-box ratio is insane. Literally carved right out of the blueprint for "girls I would give up red meat just to be in the same room as one of her brappers after a solo speed run of Olive Garden's Tour of Italy". In other words -- I fucks with it.
Haven't seen that kind of disorientation in a white girl's eyes since Starbucks offered 2x points on a non-holiday. And much like inhaling $18.00 worth of overcooked coffee beans, a price will be paid for slingin that thing around.
Zero signs of protection. Decor looks like it was bought off a truck in a Best Buy parking lot. Booty hole is surprisingly void of bed bugs. Consider this a rare pull.
Karen McGoonerson is presented a with a choice: Dance with the mayonnaise maraca she's been married to for the past 4 years, or gallop with the chocolate clydesdale. Do you really have to guess how this one is gonna end? [painfully]
The real hero of today's adventure should be whatever surgeon sews that bag of expired beef back together in the last clip. It seems learning how to be a boxer through YouTube videos with a language barrier has consequences. More [here]
For these philanthropists, it's about breaking down societal norms and giving back to the community. Jump that hurdle and nothing will come between your side piece and legendary status. Save for a pair of Joseppi's tube socks or two...
Not rly surprising from a girl that willingly chose the alias [shrOOms Q]. Moon lettuce & it's sibling psychedelics have led to many unscrupulous hole invasions.
Judging by the shades of mold growing under her, it looks like they were at the "practice stage" long before the camera ever got turned on. Imagine the smell[z].
Fully functioning and still doesn't know how to speak coherently. But what she lacks in basic motor function she makes up for in grade-A prime meats. i'm sold
Any gentleman out there already knows shooting with Shae Summers was the peak of postmodernism pornography. What you may not know is she's a [gypsy healer] now? idk wtf that means but it probably involves your wallet and her tits.
Self-filming, self-uploading and self-promoting is crazy fuckin work when you got a wedding ring collecting dust on the Walmart end table. Having the phenotype of an Elden Ring skeletal archer may or may not have led to this decision tho.
Self-proclaimed anaconda smuggler gets humbled after spending < 4.7 seconds on the dark side, leaving her no option but to tap out. The check isn't in the mail.
The dude behind the camera has survived genital-disfiguring diseases amidst bulldozing through 27% of the pacific north west's bucket of baddies. Maybe Gorlock needs to make a cameo next time. That's the secret ending we all earned.
"Goblin mode" is a slang term for unapologetically self-indulgent lazy behavior that rejects societal norms, often involving staying in pajamas, eating junk food and generally embracing a messy comfortable existence and release of pressure.
Where the fuck has she been practicing that technique and are they still allowed within 100 yards of Thanksgiving dinner? These 2 things seem to be intertwined.
Real? No. But we may be entering another content drought and middle-aged white women's plan on incorporating high end Amazon camera technology into their dollar tree performances is inevitable. #pancakeassnosyrup #pilates
The amount of middle-aged women trying to relive their glory days of slobbering dong adjacent to marked down summer fashion pieces, is way too damn high.
3:10 for the moment of truth. Is dude being honest? Are those surgical gloves? Did I free throw one into the sink at Starbucks from the foul line because their one stall was closed off this morning? All these questions have the same answer.
Incredible proportions. I bet every forward thrust would have her tits clapping like a trained seal. ur not supposed to find fish sticks erotic... yet here we are. Again.
