Congratulations on managing to turn your penis into a freefall lifeboat. It's quite the achievement. Now if u could kindly drag that thing back to the petting zoo where it belongs it would be appreciated. Esmeralda seems to have hit her limit.
The true legacy Amber Blank has left behind in the world of cuckolding is kind of frightening when you think about it. Edit: It looks like she's still active to this day or someone is trying to monetize a defunct amateur pornstar's content. #mystery
All I ask is that you watch the entire thing and promise to never replicate any of it. Especially that indoor power washing in the last video. One wrong push and you run the risk of turning the thunderstorm into a full blown shit show. #imserious
Nearly 5 minutes of a couple simulating painal videos? We may have reached the TikTok level, brain rotted, bottom of the barrel amateur porn creator content[s].
I don't even know what the fuck I'm looking at here, or why it was given the green light for live streaming. But it appears this cave dwelling goblin (zero feng shui) was able to turncoat a rival. Probably brought to you by [Prime™] Energy drinks.
Definitely a more pleasant experience than my first time witnessing this behavior in the butcher's line of a Whole Foods. Apparently expiration dates are negotiable.
Installing the "deprive myself of oxygen until I have the IQ of a bowl of spaghetti-o's" expansion pack may not be for everyone, but it's unquestionably a challenge.
What in the Alabama backwoods barn burning bullshit is goin on in that last clip? Mating ritual? Vegan skin care? Reasons I won't enter Ubers without plastic wrap?
Normally I'd be the first to out this as being faker than the tip I left a Door Dasher that dropped $43.00 worth of Del Taco (see: 1 value meal). But I did the research, and turns out these two share more DNA than Gene Simmons in the 70's. [more]
Another chapter closed in a book that Barnes & Noble insists on displaying in the Sci-Fi section. Normally read in the dimly lit corner of a trailer park, surrounded by Newport butts and half-eaten cans of Trader Joe's finest stuffed meatball ravioli.
Basically a public service announcement on the pros and cons of using Tinder in New Orleans. Some live to tell the tale. Others are in diapers at the age of 27. All have an abnormally intimate relationship with Newport cigarettes & turkey gravy.
3:10 for the moment of truth. Is dude being honest? Are those surgical gloves? Did I free throw one into the sink at Starbucks from the foul line because their one stall was closed off this morning? All these questions have the same answer.
Non-existent respect for other's property, and enough PSI to degrease the engine of a Toyota Corolla. Normally a combination worthy of being proud of, now actually looks pretty fuckin abhorrent in retrospect. Hit the showers immediately.
Shame she doesn't make raunchy butt ripper videos anymore. A damn crying shame. Never again will we see this level of excitement when it comes to colonizing the dark planet. EDIT: she's still alive/active. more [here] and [here]
It'll never meet the legendary aura of [bad times at the bachelorette party] because... well, nothing will. But comparing is the thief of joy, and we shouldn't let $27 worth of content think tanking go to total waste here. She gets my vote.
Don't let that cunning smile fool you. This girl has zero love for her significant other & hotel room upholstery. As illustrated somewhere between the 4th & 19th uppercut to her cervix by the newcomer. something something hpy anniversary?
Eyes like Steve Buscemi, squirts like a fire hydrant and looks like the all-Klonopin diet is holding on for dear life. In other words; You will never be this erect again.
Not exactly someone you're gonna ignore, but her facial expressions scream "i just got done assisting my third cousin's soak and i'm craving dutch cabbage roles". So perhaps some form of rapscallion trickery should have been expected.
