5 foot 3, weighs less than a soggy bag of Thanksgiving leftovers and literally can't keep a penis out of her mouth for 19 consecutive seconds. No it's not whoever smoked your ass in that last Arc Raiders game -- It's gotta be kane [mira monroe]
The real hero of today's adventure should be whatever surgeon sews that bag of expired beef back together in the last clip. It seems learning how to be a boxer through YouTube videos with a language barrier has consequences. More [here]
Turns out this inter-gender tag team have discovered a new meta to pollute the pages of xvideos with: Simulated "oops all anal" videos. More tomfoolery [here]
For these philanthropists, it's about breaking down societal norms and giving back to the community. Jump that hurdle and nothing will come between your side piece and legendary status. Save for a pair of Joseppi's tube socks or two...
ah, the old "my sister ate moon grass and fell on my penis" trick. A classic move, but one that gonna need more practice if it's going to give Limpin Larry enough motivation to erect the other half of his penis for her. #cialis pancho. Look into it.
1 part hypebeast, 19 parts herpes simplex two. Surely my user base doesn't need a PSA on the reasons not to raw dog a girl that considers Fruit Stripe gum a luxury item. But just in case I've given too much credence, do not try this one at home.
"...but the husband joined". A very common scenario in high pressure cities that commonly charge over $9.00 for cups of coffee with pictures drawn on them.
Might as well call her a lumberjack because these logs are getting split. And she's not afraid of having her temperature checked at the same time? All future STD testing requirements aside, this looks like a girl worth keeping on the faves list.
We're talking first OF video here, not first time breaking the seal on her unmarinated waffle stomped shit biscuit. While it still maintains spry elasticity, I'll bet dollars to donuts it has more miles on it than grandads prized El Camino.
Where the fuck has she been practicing that technique and are they still allowed within 100 yards of Thanksgiving dinner? These 2 things seem to be intertwined.
Becky McSnagglepuss channels her inner sorority girl to give Alfonso and friends a one-time look at the kind of minge that requires double vaccination. #tourism
Self-proclaimed anaconda smuggler gets humbled after spending < 4.7 seconds on the dark side, leaving her no option but to tap out. The check isn't in the mail.
2004: Facebook launches for the first time, Ashlee Simpson jigged her way into irrelevancy and this jovial mother fucker was using his power of aspergers to give second stringers a reason to show up on set. I'm talkin half girth, half Pokemon.
The human experiment takes a new detour to fuck town USA, aided by wrestling memes and movies you probably never heard of. twas a fine society we had once. But like buying a video card without a home equity loan, those days are forgotten.
The amount of women that willingly get front loaded by permit-enforced meat missiles is actually surprising. What can be done in the privacy of your own home with a gas generator and jumper cables, has now been brought to public view.
Sometimes I think about the amount of guttural toxic waste this man has used his dipstick to measure without protective gear. There's no way he's still alive.
If you're the kind of gentleman that prides himself on enjoying the finer things in life (Little Caesars $7 carry outs, director cuts of Nicholas Cage independent movies etc.) then this set of generational milkers is sure to win your little heart.
"if you're caught, DON'T STOP!" That's not a direct quote or anything. And it probably shouldn't be one. Especially for that broken fire hydrant seasoning the corner table at Smash Burger around the 5:00 mark. wtf is wrong with u people?
