Nothing has been as generous to the amateur porn community as the fish eyed camera lens. Joe Sixpack and his homie Mayonnaise Mike end up looking like people pay a cover charge to feed them at a petting zoo. But we know the truth.
Just what the fuck was going on in 2006? Looks like someone with a gestapo fetish and a sizable bankroll started to bring his fever dream Lexapro overdose fantasy to life. Today's delusion? A possible look at UBER in it's group test phase.
Honestly it makes sense. If infidelity was judged on the widening of your rectal cavity, then every man thats peaked their curiosity at chipotle is a serial cheater.
It became glaringly fake the moment they panned to a gym bathroom and there wasn't a Resident Evil outbreak bucket of mold on every surface. Good try tho.
I never have to worry about being injected into such an experience. I only reserve hotel rooms for Jerkmate marathon practice, not to dine and dash prostitutes.
Turns out using your velvet buzzsaw as a communal carpet cleaner isn't offensive to everybody. Let this be definitive proof that testosterone still exists in the world.
See? Not every post here has to be about unsuitable bodily penetrations and the Montana residents that love them. Sometimes you gotta slow down and appreciate women that would charge $99.99 to drop ship you their fart jars.
Looks like the kind of video set up by a guy one anime character re-voicing away from a total nervous breakdown. Lesson learned I guess? Never trust the AirBNB advertisement with the words "my mom only works nightshift" in the fine print.
An official size was never determined. But judging by facial reactions that are second only to a spirited night of margaritas and cabbage, I'd say it was "enough".
Her body-to-box ratio is insane. Literally carved right out of the blueprint for "girls I would give up red meat just to be in the same room as one of her brappers after a solo speed run of Olive Garden's Tour of Italy". In other words -- I fucks with it.
And by caught I mean encouraged to bareback strangers she met at the self-checkout lane in Target while her toadstool'd husband slap boxes his cocktail frank under dim lighting from another room. Sickening. more: [I] [II] [III] [IV]
The true downside of marrying prostitutes from russiabride.com? Every wiener in a three-mile radius is using your 9-5 to unload some nut sac gazpacho on your significant other And don't even get me started on the ridiculous storage fees.
Are all sex merchant Asian girls preprogrammed to do the open mouth youtube thumbnail reaction no matter how big/small the bean is? example: [shena nomy] acting like Joe Averagecock's 5 inches are gutting her like an industrial chainsaw.
"Squirting on the UBER driver" usually isn't a service you can add through the app. But anyone that's taken the old Taco Bell detour on the way home from a bar knows it becomes negotiable before the trip has been completed. iykyk
[chloe night]: she disappeared from the scene just as fast as she bulldozed into it, leaving in her wake a collection of [questionable] amateur tomfoolery. #weird
If I remember correctly she was a 1 and done. Which is unfortunate, because she had the face/rectal tolerance of a star that could have lasted the entire 2.5 year lifespan the average girl in this space pulls before spiraling into an eating disorder.
Average Joes aren't the only ones facing resistance when trying to smash the cadburys. Semi-pro pornstars have occupational hazards too. ah well. As long as human toilet paper isn't on the menu, Beckys and Katies are still gonna be bae.
5 foot 3, weighs less than a soggy bag of Thanksgiving leftovers and literally can't keep a penis out of her mouth for 19 consecutive seconds. No it's not whoever smoked your ass in that last Arc Raiders game -- It's gotta be kane [mira monroe]
Classic case of overconfidence. If only she put as much research into this man's business model as she did into Instagram's "fix my tits" filters, then maybe all of this could have been avoided. Ah well. Live, learn & never trust ads on Craigslist.
The real hero of today's adventure should be whatever surgeon sews that bag of expired beef back together in the last clip. It seems learning how to be a boxer through YouTube videos with a language barrier has consequences. More [here]
Less meat on her bones than a vegan dinner plate. So I guess we should all be surprised that she not only survived the assault on her cinnamon monkey biscuit without breaking a bone - but enjoyed the entire ordeal as well. That's a keeper.
