The amount of middle-aged women trying to relive their glory days of slobbering dong adjacent to marked down summer fashion pieces, is way too damn high.
The aroma of McChicken wrappers and a homeless man's piss rag may not do anything to get your penis to maximum hardness. But you aren't part of this duo.
No way is that title authentic, but we're at the ass crack of 2026 so nothing is really surprising. Appraising your significant other's oral cavity at less than a bag of expired bagels might actually be a net positive to the gene pool at this point.
To be honest, it's probably real. The depths of hell your average Instagram'r will travel too for a few extra clicks is all the confirmation you need to prove that.
Fact: Cam girls are forever evolving. Take this lively South American fuck goof for example. When the pesos started slowing down she introduced "La Torta de Dinosaurio" to the show and engagement skyrocketed. Entrepreneurship is crazy.
Not a bad reason to jump the pond and do a little sightseeing. In fact, throw in a bowl of your finest solyanka and I might make a weekend out of it. [more here]
Her body-to-box ratio is insane. Literally carved right out of the blueprint for "girls I would give up red meat just to be in the same room as one of her brappers after a solo speed run of Olive Garden's Tour of Italy". In other words -- I fucks with it.
A Chilean degenerate that treats her butthole like a dollar menu side order? The villain arc is practically writing itself. Start getting blocked on her Twitter [here]
It became glaringly fake the moment they panned to a gym bathroom and there wasn't a Resident Evil outbreak bucket of mold on every surface. Good try tho.
Average Joes aren't the only ones facing resistance when trying to smash the cadburys. Semi-pro pornstars have occupational hazards too. ah well. As long as human toilet paper isn't on the menu, Beckys and Katies are still gonna be bae.
Fresh out of an Arby's dumpster dive and new to the OF scene, this Malboro-enhanched trio are Valtex'ing their way to redneck superstardom. The flannel shirt gourmet knows this isn't porn. It's preparation for a monster truck rally.
30 secs in and 2 things have become apparent: 1) I've been grossly mislead about Nebraska's tourism attractions. And 2) at least 50% of the people in comments below this have ejaculated to fully clothed women in the Nordstrom catalogue.
Just when you think it's safe to trust again, some vagabond goes and makes unannounced deposits in your sausage mitten. Was it worth the beating Vladimir?
Zero signs of protection. Decor looks like it was bought off a truck in a Best Buy parking lot. Booty hole is surprisingly void of bed bugs. Consider this a rare pull.
Cute title. It's just that I'd be more inclined to believe it if your speedrun to adult diapers wasn't the 1st thing you decided to share with the world. #thisgirlsaphony
Ya know what. When you're stuck with gynecomastia and the endurance of a diabetic Snorlax, scoring women of this caliber probably needs to be celebrated. Congratulations to all these heroes. MORE: [-1-] [-2-] [-3-] [-4-] [-5-] [-6-] [7]
Probably not the first time she's been fairly compensated for cosplaying as a communal nut pod, but it's gonna be the last time. Sponsored by Coca Cola?
Just what the fuck was going on in 2006? Looks like someone with a gestapo fetish and a sizable bankroll started to bring his fever dream Lexapro overdose fantasy to life. Today's delusion? A possible look at UBER in it's group test phase.
If you think one Dutch girl's journey to turn her rectal cavity into affordable housing is where this type of content ends, you would be right. I wish you were right. And that last clip proves you should have been right. I hate the Internet.
Nothing has been as generous to the amateur porn community as the fish eyed camera lens. Joe Sixpack and his homie Mayonnaise Mike end up looking like people pay a cover charge to feed them at a petting zoo. But we know the truth.
Classic case of overconfidence. If only she put as much research into this man's business model as she did into Instagram's "fix my tits" filters, then maybe all of this could have been avoided. Ah well. Live, learn & never trust ads on Craigslist.
