"Squirting on the UBER driver" usually isn't a service you can add through the app. But anyone that's taken the old Taco Bell detour on the way home from a bar knows it becomes negotiable before the trip has been completed. iykyk
idk who she is but the checklist has already been maxed out: Puts out on date #1. Maintains a consistent diet of cabbage, and has absolutely no respect for the scotch guarded comforter you borrowed from gram. Are those wedding bells?
Nothing gets a 40-something moist quite like BOGO sales at their local Target. Couple that with 2008's finest fashion choices and you got a recipe for the craziest future Facebook chain posts. Mall parking lots will never be the same.
Her body-to-box ratio is insane. Literally carved right out of the blueprint for "girls I would give up red meat just to be in the same room as one of her brappers after a solo speed run of Olive Garden's Tour of Italy". In other words -- I fucks with it.
What are the last 3 words you want to hear after getting naked in front of your /fom? If you answered "is that Helmans?"; you're wrong. But points will be added.
Proficient camera angles and lighting, or a man that was actually conceived by a fucking Clydesdale? I'm sorry, I just don't have the answers behind this mystery.
To be honest, it's probably real. The depths of hell your average Instagram'r will travel too for a few extra clicks is all the confirmation you need to prove that.
If I remember correctly she was a 1 and done. Which is unfortunate, because she had the face/rectal tolerance of a star that could have lasted the entire 2.5 year lifespan the average girl in this space pulls before spiraling into an eating disorder.
Unilaterally super soaking home turf without as much as laying down a blanket or wearing a form fitting adult diaper? In this economy? Its more likely than u think...
That's pretty good. [this] is better though. Mainly because it really shows us the aftermath of spending half a decade cramming the industries finest right back up the 'ole rusty walnut and how the future rectal intolerance is never guaranteed.
I thought this girl evolved into her final degen form. And then she released a vid [with this title] and confirmed it. Honorable mention for the [rest of her catalog]
See? Not every post here has to be about unsuitable bodily penetrations and the Montana residents that love them. Sometimes you gotta slow down and appreciate women that would charge $99.99 to drop ship you their fart jars.
Dragging your contractually obligated meat pocket to a secluded beach for 4 minutes of rubber-coated humping is cool and all, but where's the art? A sand enema, a jellyfish tampon; can you start thinking outside of the box please?
The language barrier stops me from knowing what was said right at the 8:32 mark. But if her facial expression is any indication it had something to do with power tools & him not getting home alive. Many such cases in the Baltic regions.
George Lopez is juiced to the gills and managed to procure one of Starbuck's finest Coffee Artists™. The result? Only her gynecologist and Jiffy Lube knows.
Maybe taming the stinky weasel is just more of a norm in other parts of the world? Either way, dude is sitting on a goldmine of a significant other here and the Internet demands more of her content including access to all mud buttons.
Classic case of overconfidence. If only she put as much research into this man's business model as she did into Instagram's "fix my tits" filters, then maybe all of this could have been avoided. Ah well. Live, learn & never trust ads on Craigslist.
The amount of women that wait in que to get bulldozed by this maniac is actually surprising. What could be done in the privacy of your own home with a gas generator and jumper cables, has been brought to public view. In high defs.
Between the instructions that actually devolve human beings and whatever the fuck ancient language was trying to leak out of the guy in the last clip, I think it's safe to say we have some form of a predicament in our educational system(s).
The amount of middle-aged women trying to relive their glory days of slobbering dong adjacent to marked down summer fashion pieces, is way too damn high.
She claims this is legit, and it's the first time "meeting" this dude. Okay lady, sure. And the gangrene I got from "introducing" myself to a stripper that considers Canadian pennies a form of payment will just go away with fast orange and water.
idk where this is, but try it in the US of A and the situation will be immediately amplified a guy 1 Michelob Ultra away from a public rampage. That's a warning. Never underestimate a man with garbage bags full of [this shit] in his basement.
Anal rly should have a universally accepted weight requirement. Performing with this lvl of proportion disparity is sure to result in a sphincter collapse comparable only to fast food muckbanging. McRib connsesuries know what I'm talking about.
