Average Joes aren't the only ones facing resistance when trying to smash the cadburys. Semi-pro pornstars have occupational hazards too. ah well. As long as human toilet paper isn't on the menu, Beckys and Katies are still gonna be bae.
If her facial expressions look familiar to you, then you too have felt the sweet kiss of Red Lobster's endless shrimp platter. A feeling taken from us all too soon...
Are all sex merchant Asian girls preprogrammed to do the open mouth youtube thumbnail reaction no matter how big/small the bean is? example: [shena nomy] acting like Joe Averagecock's 5 inches are gutting her like an industrial chainsaw.
Honestly it makes sense. If infidelity was judged on the widening of your rectal cavity, then every man thats peaked their curiosity at chipotle is a serial cheater.
I dunno what the fuck she's protesting, but this movement needs a Pampers sponsorship as soon as humanly possible. Now you take that snail trail right back to the Bronx Zoo exhibit you stole it from and maybe I won't call the authorities.
The language barrier stops me from knowing what was said right at the 8:32 mark. But if her facial expression is any indication it had something to do with power tools & him not getting home alive. Many such cases in the Baltic regions.
Adrien Brody levels of acting here. The story, the camerawork, the multiple cuts to fit in a few doses of Valtrex. If it wasn't for those double milk jugs stealing the spotlight our dude might be up for an Oscar. Someone get the nomination going.
Pants off, penetrated and slimed all in under a minute thirty while not missing a step on those stubborn limescale stains around the grout lines. I don't know if this is a personal best, but he should probably submit the attempt to speedrunslive.
Cute title. It's just that I'd be more inclined to believe it if your speedrun to adult diapers wasn't the 1st thing you decided to share with the world. #thisgirlsaphony
Fresh out of an Arby's dumpster dive and new to the OF scene, this Malboro-enhanched trio are Valtex'ing their way to redneck superstardom. The flannel shirt gourmet knows this isn't porn. It's preparation for a monster truck rally.
Classic case of overconfidence. If only she put as much research into this man's business model as she did into Instagram's "fix my tits" filters, then maybe all of this could have been avoided. Ah well. Live, learn & never trust ads on Craigslist.
An official size was never determined. But judging by facial reactions that are second only to a spirited night of margaritas and cabbage, I'd say it was "enough".
Originally known as "PP Friends Productions" or "The League Girl", this chick had a small corner of the Internet in a chokehold for like... 6 months. And then disappeared faster than riot breaking out at Waffle House. [more of her here]
Ya know what. When you're stuck with gynecomastia and the endurance of a diabetic Snorlax, scoring women of this caliber probably needs to be celebrated. Congratulations to all these heroes. MORE: [-1-] [-2-] [-3-] [-4-] [-5-] [-6-] [7]
Dragging your contractually obligated meat pocket to a secluded beach for 4 minutes of rubber-coated humping is cool and all, but where's the art? A sand enema, a jellyfish tampon; can you start thinking outside of the box please?
My gut tells me soon after this video finished, her status as "loyal girlfriend" was about as believable as the Fast & Furious franchise stopping after the 47th movie.
Mariah's trip to Pumptown proves memorable. For the guy trying to double-dip, not her. spoiler: the microbiome on that couch is the final boss in Resident Evil 9.
Alternate source of income? Unfortunate consequence of normalizing Twitter? Evolution? Try all of the above. Legend has it the last time Little Caesar caught her in the parking lot, a pepperoni famine started. Personally I'm not so sure.
I remember when couples would upload their finest Nokia flip vids onto websites that couldn't get cleared for an SSL certificate. So trust when I say having more flash tattoos than visible skin is a bit distracting from the story ur trying to tsell.