If her facial expressions look familiar to you, then you too have felt the sweet kiss of Red Lobster's endless shrimp platter. A feeling taken from us all way too soon...
Believe it or not this was actually voted the number two reason to wake up Saturday morning with an unexplained rash in between your ass cheeks. Only falling short to raw dogging Taco Bell's new Cantina Chicken Mexican Pizza.
Not every day someones title has me scratching all three nuts in bewilderment. But "Dumb Flashlight with Cow Tits" is a choice. Not even all 32 volumes of Encyclopedia Britannica are any help and my disappointment is immeasurable.
If uve been gifted the dimensions of a jar of grammas old fashioned marmalade, then you may have never experienced this situation. Alpha Chads such as yourself would power through both this interruption, and the following domestic assault.
These kinds of facial reactions are normally produced only after learning the art of kung fu fornications such as the testicle thunderstorm or the disgruntled rhinoceros. In other words don't attempt on those with weak immune systems.
I'm smoking on that Bhutanese shadow garden grown dark evil pack. They watered this with the blood of 36 dragons. Shit's so purple it should be asking me "Where's Ronald?" This shit will turn your pacemaker off. Nuclear levels of sour.
The $12.00 Party City costume-infused 'therapist' is Bronwin Aurora. Not sure about the costar. Maybe she should advertise that skidmark maker a little bit harder and we won't have that disparity in the future? I'm here to help.
While padding your resume may not exactly be something generally frowned upon when seeking an enhancement in your employment opportunities, safety should always be your first priority. And at least 1 change of your finest linens.
That's weird. Last I heard Mardi Gras had devolved into something that closely resembles a Safari that was open to the public once a year like The Purge. But after closely evaluating said video I beg to differ. It's really more of an aquarium.
If only the avg girl put this much effort into carving out an a-hole that belongs in a museum, maybe I wouldn't be talking to a therapist about my sexual attraction to Reese's peanut butter cups this weekend. E-books will be written about this.
Today's fix? Unfixable societal damage, the strongest vaginal lining in Arkansas and more teamwork than then Norway FIFA team. The PTA meeting is cancelled.
An assembly of miscreants that may remind you of old Internet when people did everything imaginable for nothing more than access to a bottomless keg. Twitter didnt exist, OnlyFans wasnt a thought. It was just for the love of the game. [more]
I've seen things you people wouldn't believe... Attack weiners on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched cum-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhäuser Gate. All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain. More filth [here]
Don't let the optimistic smiles fool you. This social media misfit has less concern for the ringus around her bingus than a unionized construction worker on his lunch break. aka damage is imminent. Oh well. Try your best, DLSS5 the rest.
Not everyone has this kind of affinity for high prioritizing siphoning the python over a meaningful long lasting relationship. That's cuz not everyone is this girl.