Being converted into a middle-aged pretzel probably wasn't on the to-do list for ole' perky tits Tina, but it just took her Sheldon Scale rating from a 4 to a hefty 7.3.
My gut tells me soon after this video finished, her status as "loyal girlfriend" was about as believable as the Fast & Furious franchise stopping after the 47th movie.
Classic case of overconfidence. If only she put as much research into this man's business model as she did into Instagram's "fix my tits" filters, then maybe all of this could have been avoided. Ah well. Live, learn & never trust ads on Craigslist.
An official size was never determined. But judging by facial reactions that are second only to a spirited night of margaritas and cabbage, I'd say it was "enough".
Staring at wood paneling as her middle-aged leather cheerio permeates the air with the aroma of Newport Menthols and Skittles. That's the life we all strive for.
Is there a third Bella twin I've been unaware of this entire time? I'm getting some serious WWE vibes from this performance. Ya know; mid-card acting, main event placement and knowing she probably banged John Cena somewhere in the past.
George Lopez is juiced to the gills and managed to procure one of Starbuck's finest Coffee Artists™. The result? Only her gynecologist and Jiffy Lube knows.
This woman is the Nelson Mandela of butt blasting. A sacrificial lam if you will. I thought I was a charitable dude after donating 2.5 bags of Hot Cheetos to my local soup kitchen. That's diddly fuckin dick compared to this selfless act.
Captain Lou Albano's love of replica katana swords and pop tarts has finally attracted someone that doesn't have access to their Nigerian mailman's third cousin's billion dollar bank account. I guess getting it on film should be excepted.
The aroma of McChicken wrappers and a homeless man's piss rag may not do anything to get your penis to maximum hardness. But you aren't part of this duo.
First warning sign should have been suggesting Ziploc Big Bags as contraceptive. The 2nd was needing to pay for a day pass in order to enter the donkey exhibit.
Nothing has been as generous to the amateur porn community as the fish eyed camera lens. Joe Sixpack and his homie Mayonnaise Mike end up looking like people pay a cover charge to feed them at a petting zoo. But we know the truth.
Dude's hairline looks like a Detroit skyline and has "overdose" across his jugular. And still managed to pull a 9/10 that rawdogs anal. u no longer have any excuses.
Average Joes aren't the only ones facing resistance when trying to smash the cadburys. Semi-pro pornstars have occupational hazards too. ah well. As long as human toilet paper isn't on the menu, Beckys and Katies are still gonna be bae.
Looks like a one and done because I've never seen another video of her before. Which is a damn crying shame. The consequential followup of her getting samoan dropped inside a Del Taco handicap stall would've been worth the wait.
Turns out using your velvet buzzsaw as a communal carpet cleaner isn't offensive to everybody. Let this be definitive proof that testosterone still exists in the world.
If we could go ahead and get an ID on her, that would be fantastic. Try to time it around the Black Friday sales on 10-packs of tube socks if possible. Appreciate it.
And by caught I mean encouraged to bareback strangers she met at the self-checkout lane in Target while her toadstool'd husband slap boxes his cocktail frank under dim lighting from another room. Sickening. more: [I] [II] [III] [IV]
