Fresh out of an Arby's dumpster dive and new to the OF scene, this Malboro-enhanched trio are Valtex'ing their way to redneck superstardom. The flannel shirt gourmet knows this isn't porn. It's preparation for a monster truck rally.
idk who she is but the checklist has already been maxed out: Puts out on date #1. Maintains a consistent diet of cabbage, and has absolutely no respect for the scotch guarded comforter you borrowed from gram. Are those wedding bells?
Another example of the power of positivity. Maybe off camera she spends all day yappin like her defenses are impenetrable, but 1 goink to the wrinkled copper slot didn't make her hit windows_shutdown.wav and we should all be proud of that.
Turns out using your velvet buzzsaw as a communal carpet cleaner isn't offensive to everybody. Let this be definitive proof that testosterone still exists in the world.
Maybe you've already seen this? Seems to have spread across the Internet faster than gonorrhea during Burning Man weekend. It's part of the "doitforstate" challenge aka the only reason to pay for college. More public shame[ing] [here]
Honestly it makes sense. If infidelity was judged on the widening of your rectal cavity, then every man thats peaked their curiosity at chipotle is a serial cheater.
Looks like a one and done because I've never seen another video of her before. Which is a damn crying shame. The consequential followup of her getting samoan dropped inside a Del Taco handicap stall would've been worth the wait.
Captain Lou Albano's love of replica katana swords and pop tarts has finally attracted someone that doesn't have access to their Nigerian mailman's third cousin's billion dollar bank account. I guess getting it on film should be excepted.
Zero signs of protection. Decor looks like it was bought off a truck in a Best Buy parking lot. Booty hole is surprisingly void of bed bugs. Consider this a rare pull.
Just when you think it's safe to trust again, some vagabond goes and makes unannounced deposits in your sausage mitten. Was it worth the beating Vladimir?
Is there a third Bella twin I've been unaware of this entire time? I'm getting some serious WWE vibes from this performance. Ya know; mid-card acting, main event placement and knowing she probably banged John Cena somewhere in the past.
George Lopez is juiced to the gills and managed to procure one of Starbuck's finest Coffee Artists™. The result? Only her gynecologist and Jiffy Lube knows.
What drives a mild-mannered college girl to abandon education and pursue a profession of having her insides prepped like a Thanksgiving turkey? Vapes? The zyns? Letting Katy Perry continue to make music? We may never know. [more]
Nothing screams "modern day eroticism" quite like a circumcised Slavic beating his shit to a showering sibling. Katerina Danica Dragana should've known better.
The aroma of McChicken wrappers and a homeless man's piss rag may not do anything to get your penis to maximum hardness. But you aren't part of this duo.
"Squirting on the UBER driver" usually isn't a service you can add through the app. But anyone that's taken the old Taco Bell detour on the way home from a bar knows it becomes negotiable before the trip has been completed. iykyk
When you're waving around an object commonly mistaken for a Japanese culinary tool, it's gotta be hard to find willing recipients/casualty. So give it up for Becky Wonderpuss, who know now hears an echo with every footstep she takes.
"Colorado tourism offers stunning mountain scenery, hiking and charming towns, attracting visitors year-round for outdoor adventure & relaxation. Key attractions include Rocky Mountain National Park, Aspen and the inside of this girl's asshole"
And by caught I mean encouraged to bareback strangers she met at the self-checkout lane in Target while her toadstool'd husband slap boxes his cocktail frank under dim lighting from another room. Sickening. more: [I] [II] [III] [IV]
30 secs in and 2 things have become apparent: 1) I've been grossly mislead about Nebraska's tourism attractions. And 2) at least 50% of the people in comments below this have ejaculated to fully clothed women in the Nordstrom catalogue.
Nothing gets a 40-something moist quite like BOGO sales at their local Target. Couple that with 2008's finest fashion choices and you got a recipe for the craziest future Facebook chain posts. Mall parking lots will never be the same.
I never have to worry about being injected into such an experience. I only reserve hotel rooms for Jerkmate marathon practice, not to dine and dash prostitutes.
