That's pretty good. [this] is better though. Mainly because it really shows us the aftermath of spending half a decade cramming the industries finest right back up the 'ole rusty walnut and how the future rectal intolerance is never guaranteed.
Nothing gets a 40-something moist quite like BOGO sales at their local Target. Couple that with 2008's finest fashion choices and you got a recipe for the craziest future Facebook chain posts. Mall parking lots will never be the same.
Fresh out of an Arby's dumpster dive and new to the OF scene, this Malboro-enhanched trio are Valtex'ing their way to redneck superstardom. The flannel shirt gourmet knows this isn't porn. It's preparation for a monster truck rally.
If I remember correctly she was a 1 and done. Which is unfortunate, because she had the face/rectal tolerance of a star that could have lasted the entire 2.5 year lifespan the average girl in this space pulls before spiraling into an eating disorder.
Normally this kind of attempt at public depravity would be immediately thrown into the compost pile for wasting our time. But I'm told this lunatic is legit, and has a history of freebasing randoms along her journey. Big rofl @ the 1:33 mark.
Some women need a good meal and a goodnight text to reach their sexual peak. But this one? Just one half-assed request has her pastrami butterfly goopafied. Not a single phone in sight. Just 2 people living in the moment. I kinda respect it.
Haven't seen that kind of disorientation in a white girl's eyes since Starbucks offered 2x points on a non-holiday. And much like inhaling $18.00 worth of overcooked coffee beans, a price will be paid for slingin that thing around.
Ya know what... when you're stuck with gynecomastia and the endurance of a Snorlax, scoring a woman of this caliber needs to be celebrated. Congratulations.
Classic case of overconfidence. If only she put as much research into this man's business model as she did into Instagram's "fix my tits" filters, then maybe all of this could have been avoided. Ah well. Live, learn & never trust ads on Craigslist.
Not rly surprising from a girl that willingly chose the alias [shrOOms Q]. Moon lettuce & it's sibling psychedelics have led to many unscrupulous hole invasions.
The real hero of today's adventure should be whatever surgeon sews that bag of expired beef back together in the last clip. It seems learning how to be a boxer through YouTube videos with a language barrier has consequences. More [here]
Your significant other gets curious about being on the receiving end of a 1-man firing squad. And before the next round can even be chambered, she's already hypothesizing how to make the end of your life look like an accident. Classic.
Being converted into a middle-aged pretzel probably wasn't on the to-do list for ole' perky tits Tina, but it just took her Sheldon Scale rating from a 4 to a hefty 7.3.
My gut tells me soon after this video finished, her status as "loyal girlfriend" was about as believable as the Fast & Furious franchise stopping after the 47th movie.
For these philanthropists, it's about destroying societal norms and giving back to the neighbors. Climb that mountain and nothing shall come between your communal oral cavity and legendary status. Save for a viral outbreak or four...
