I'm smoking on that Bhutanese shadow garden grown dark evil pack. They watered this with the blood of 36 dragons. Shit's so purple it should be asking me "Where's Ronald?" This shit will turn your pacemaker off. Nuclear levels of sour.
What's that old saying? Go big or go home? If it's in her ass she's all class? If your tip is brown shut it down? I don't know but someone probably just got a raise.
If it wasn't for Melody Mark's astute understanding of internal growth and societal independence we may not have been given this infamous and significant intimate moment. Now [click here] to watch her fuck a life sized bobble head.
Looks like Sparky splurged all of his birthday nickles on the supreme package. She's built, looks like she enjoys it and judging by his lack of gagging, there's no aroma of yesterday's Newports anywhere to be seen. The glass ceiling is broken.
Bigfoot's hypo-allergenic sister refuses to adopt basic hygiene practices, but doesn't think twice about letting a complete stranger play a tune on her stink whistle. [raw mind you] Perhaps we really have gone past the point of no return.
Honestly, I'm shocked. And by shocked I mean quietly contemplating how much longer it will take social media to completely remove all empathetic reasoning from the human genome. Direct all your body fluids accordingly. More [here]
Tip for my ever-evolving female fan base: If you ever find yourself in this situation, make sure you order the blooming onion beforehand. The unsuspecting stranger will be gifted a soundtrack AI could never replicate. Don't ask me how I know.
A vaginal opening that doesn't look like it's seen the wheels of an El Dorado is a welcomed change. Perhaps if OF creators could keep the Tampa Bay Buccaneers' starting line outside of their underwears this could become a hot new trend.
idk what kind of Amish paradise rules they agreed to before making the match, but this shit doesn't work for me brother. Interesting loophole though. It's kind of like tax harvesting, where the people watching are the only ones getting fucked.
Alright it's time for these South American couples to scale it back a fucking notch. Most OF girls barely expose a pubic hair for 6 figure days, meanwhile Valentina and friends are facing radical spinal surgery for less than 2 scoops of rocky road.
Not a bad reason to jump the pond and do a little sightseeing. In fact, throw in a bowl of your finest solyanka and I might make a weekend out of it. [more here]
Getting blown out within shouting distance of your HOA'd neighbors is a pretty bold move. Actually, it's one of superiority. Nancy and her 13 cats will most definitely think twice about filing a noise complaint at the next board meeting.
Considering where the bar now sits in Hollywood, she may have very well been in contention for an Oscar or two. The Ink Master rabbit hole said otherwise though.
idk where this is, but try that in the US of A and the situation will be immediately amplified by a guy 1 Michelob Ultra away from a public rampage. That's a warning. Never underestimate a man with garbage bags full of [this shit] in his basement.
Remember when Hantavirus got ignored so hard it disappeared? Well your favorite social degenerate is here to bring back that biological chaos and disorder to the public transportation of your choosing. Choose your form of PPE wisely.
Today's fix? Unfixable societal damage, the strongest vaginal lining in Arkansas and more teamwork than then Norway FIFA team. The PTA meeting is cancelled.
A real stark contrast between this and your everyday freedom fighter. This one actually finishes you off after flappin her gums for 19 uninterrupted minutes.
