I think crammin ham should be saved for more important celebratory moments in a girl's life. Like, marriage. Or getting a ghost wipe after a Pizza Hut dinner box.
The downside to being hung like the exhaust pipe off a Chevrolet El Dorado? Literally nothing. All you have to do is let the beast out of it's cage and the women will magnetize to it like a herpes outbreak at a Playboi Carti concert.
What in the cornbread skidmark hell is going on with this generation? Once upon a time having the genetic configuration of a Madagacar tomato frog would limit your partners to Walmart shoppers. Now tho? No one even pumps the brakes.
mir·ror
noun
1. a reflective surface, now typically of glass coated with a metal amalgam, that reflects a clear image. 2. correspond or be similar to (another thing). 3. nice ass
Perhaps this could introduce a new filter option on popular dating and/or thirst trap applications such as Tinder and OnlyChromies.com? My boys would thrive.
Everyone else talking about USD collapse and unable to afford housing, while I'm just waiting for girls to start doin this in Chipotle parking lots again. #oldfashioned
Reason #28971 to never judge a book by it's cover. Unless it's whatever the fuck this is. Then feel free to Judge Judy until your foreskin grows back. I'm on drugs.
You know, for a woman that has made a living documenting the abuse of her sour pickle pocket I must say it's still in pristine condition. It might need an alignment, but she obviously adheres to a very strict maintenance care plan.
Every time the drive-thru Starbucks groupies gets themselves into one of these Wayne's World extreme close ups, it makes me wonder how many lines of sweet Colombian jelly beans it took to get here. The answer is never what you expect.
Becky-lynn Dakota Monroe Savannah Taylor in the sure has an interesting way of servicing her community. While everyone reserves their public reamings for the Best Buy customer service line; she has decided to start her charity work at home.
On today's edition of "I remember masturbating to her while unboxing my launch copy of Halo 2 with my free hand" its Alexis. No comeback has been made official
Everything about that statement is true, except the "oops" part. Something tells me 'ole carrot top here has sabotaged these sweatshop dick ponchos before...
That soundtrack was pretty banging. Wanna know what's not though? Whatever the fuck crawled in or out of that man's anal cavity at the start of the video. I haven't seen that kind of wreckage since the great crave crate challenge of '97.
Comments under this fucking disaster of a sex tape are worth a couple moments of your time imo. Here's a tiny sneak preview: "sometimes I end up finding a video like this and laugh until my boner has dissolved and just end up going to bed".
Wrong file selected on Facebook's upload page while 5 Mimosas into a Thursday afternoon, or not giving a fuck? Someone's Livejournal is gonna hear about this.
The downside of dating girls w/ the libido of adderall addicted mongooses? She makes the rules. Both in sex & the all-asparagus diet you now have to abandon.
This was definitely created before the boom of lobotomized TikTok actors made Steven Segal look like an Oscar contender. Respect for being visionaries I guess?
wtf is with this ❝i'm not stopping until medicare qualifies her for a wheelchair❞ approach to slamming married women nowadays? Call me old fashioned, but I preferred when it was more romantic and hidden in Taco Bell bathroom stalls.
The original upload refers to her as his wife, but I know that diabolical level of contact avoiding at the 1:27 mark only comes in the form of pay-to-play. #facts
