Imagine getting the Mike Tyson makeover cause you couldn't keep your yapper off a penis that's configured like a submarine telescope. Prioritize better ladies.
The original title alone they have over there is so fucking absurd, you have to believe it's actually true. Admittedly it might not be worth the 30 minute mini-series run time, but it's definitely one of the unicorns of the Xhamster underbelly.
That's odd. The day walker is one of the most elusive creatures on our planet, so you'd think their survival skills would be more honed than this. Clearly a skill issue.
These stories have not been embellished, because - they need no embellishment. They are simply, horrifyingly, the story of the average degenerate human being sharing this planet with you. Except that last one. Oh yes, there will be blood.
Becky Buttholowski has all her yappin instantly silenced when the official United States immigration policy shows up & has a word or 2 with her. No negotiations.
Slavic degen films her 397th brother-buster video and expects us to get lost in teh story. Let me tell you something Natasha; unless ur that underwater bullshit in MGS 2 or the bottom of a Five Guys cajun fries cup, I am disoriented by no man.
I shouldn't speak on behalf of females thanks to my unkempt eggbag and an addiction to White Castle french toast sliders... but I think have an idea how life gets to this point. And reparing it begins with uninstalling League of Legends.
The (actual) original post was by a homie that claimed he was going to "try cuckolding" but things quickly turned into an all out free-for-all the moment her Lululemon's hit the floorboards. A moment of silence for Brad's ex-relationship.
If anything this is worth watching for the C-level acting job done by Tunaboat Tommy and his goof fuck friend at the end. I've seen better presentations from dropouts of the Macho Man community College of Performing Arts. #oohyeah
Can't really give you the exact time these videos were filmed, but the aroma of Blockbuster microwaveable popcorn butter should be a good indicator. #vintage
If that isn't the look of a girl that's said "i' use dijon mustard as lubricant with for neighbor's mailbox" at Thanksgiving dinner, u can slap my bag & call me Sally. Now flip her over - I don't think Lorenzo got enough AIDS during his first pump.
That's not an actual quote from the video, but it should be. It seems Susana is having a little trouble with broski's maximum depth potential. And by trouble, I mean the kind of organ rearrangement Art The Clown would be impressed by.
It's not often you see me hyping, but [this girl] is different. The rare combo of beansprouting and a well maintained bassoon has me rating her performance 3 balls up. I just might have to pony up this month's Charmin money to go private.
Actual teacher, or another deranged clout chaser trying to get "kAnTeNT" for their OnlyFans? It doesn't matter. What's more important is the janitor having to scrub last night's mayonnaise tadpoles out of the carpet. You fuckin monsters.
I mean... at this point you might as well spring for the $100 refurbished Fleshlight. Or at the very least, MacGyver one at Walmart. The post-nut clarity will be easier.
5:15. Be less worried about token counts and more concerned with whatever off-road vehicle ran that thing over and fled the scene. The fuck is going on down there? And more importantly, how many Tremors movies are we up to now?
Imagine all the planning, text messages, sneaking around and poker face horse shit she went through only to find out Sanjeet has the endurance of a geriatric garden snail. You can almost pinpoint the moment of her final disappointment.
There's people that skirt along the edge of "normal". Then there's Carrot Top. And finally there's unfixable misfits like the 10 or so specimens you're about to witness on the other side of this link. For non-American viewers; This is why Valium exists.
