Her body language alone made the P-to-B transaction less probable than Bob Barker headlining UFC 215. Best she sticks to stuff she's good at. Like shopping at Warby Parker & picketing Chipotle. 'straight to A' isnt her thing.
Great face. Nice body. But what really got me on board was the complete lack of logic. Look closely. No brains, no thoughts. So cute you'd almost forget this happens when they get more than half a can into their mouths.
Tina Belcher's safe space gets invaded by some dude taking his mushroom to the park, but accidentally found love instead. Does she: 1) Call da police 2) trade gazpacho recipes or c) take Shia Ladork's advice. This ones easy.
Interruption @10:06. And whats our heroes reaction? Going Wayne & Garth on his bashful costar. Don't feel too bad lady. Seeing as I just beat off to the 8 seconds of your howler monkey mother, you're still a star in my book.
A once thought to be lost classic resurfaces. Community college bro gets a pass on rent in exchange for clearing out the cobwebs from his landlady's minge, complete with awkward small talk and blacked.com fuck positions.
Gotta respect a guy that's more interested in his 50% Off Panda Express coupon, than questioning why his 18-year-old daughter is naked in front of the family webcam. Balancing priorities are an integral part of fatherhood.
Don't let that lack of muscle tone fool you: She's a protein assassin. We all have a calling in life... and after skull-fucking the basic multiplication skills out of herself, I think we all know what her future holds. ยป networking.
Three years of forcing porn producers to scotch guard everything in a 2-mile radius was no problemo. But ~60 secs of churning butt butter? GAME OVER. Ladies and gents: I present to you the enigma of Asian scrag hags.
How many times have I said "mother of fuckin' AC Fucking Slater, this dude's custard cannon weighs more than her entire body" ? Sixty four. How many times did I actually mean it in the literal sense? Zero. UNTIL NOW.
This guy might as well be the Conor McGregor of butthole dysfunction, and today he's teaching Relationships 101. Adopt his patented "Oklahoma whiff n' dip", and I promise, ur lady will never think about crying misogyny again.
Kenzie Reeves. aka porn's newest 78 pound answer to the most important question of 2017: "how far can we go with incestuous storylines?" A sexual Joanna Lannister if you will. More ridiculous facial expressions HERE.
I like how the girl at the end does some Power Ranger hand movements on his dick, keeping things professional and massage-like, rather than giving him a straight up stroke job. In her mind, she's only half a whore. Adorable.
Props to guy laying pipe. I haven't heard a teenager whine that ambiguously since that time I was caught defecating in the Blockbuster drop-box in protest to late fees on my rental of Johnny Mnemonic. FULL SCENE HERE
Don't let the heart-shaped buttplug fool you. This girl has zero love for strangers and their upholstery. Such as illustrated after she downtowns her charlie brown... which the driver somehow is totally unaware of. Hilarious.
I'll wager 5 rupees that this hooch had no clue she'd be in the danger zone today. You can literally pinpoint the moment of regret in her eyes. CLASSIC.
'memember HIM? Looks like he's back for round 2. Not sure why he longs for the approval of random black chicks. His dick is a drizzle compared to the tsunamis these bitches are addicted to. Time for a new hobby, Bernard.
This is classic. She literally goes from chowing down her own buttmud like a malnourished Nigerian, to straight up protesting a facial. Apparently the Woodman School of Rectology isn't as diverse as originally thought, HAHA.
Want proof that humans are all about charity? Look no further friendo. This charitable fuck offers a nervous local the ultimate handout - a free play on his wife's arcade box. It's generosity like this that really warms my heart.
Dang, check out the dimensions on this one. You may have a wet dream or 5 about eating her out. Emphasis on 'eating'. I'm willing to bet 50 shekels she's got enough bush down there to start up her own botanical gardens.
Russia: Some go for the stroganoff. Others go to stir up enough friction to earn a campfire badge. This guy does both. 1st he loads up on Leninade, then he hits that dirty squirrel like life depends on it. A role model, if u will.
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Some goofy fuck pulled a Spielberg and remastered his entire discography of dick flicks ala Windows Movie Maker. One clip is relatively harmless... but a 30+ combo exhibition video? Nice, but try that on my Magneto function.
Scroll to 2:46 for her official statement. A sad moment indeed. Not really as depressing as Amy Schumer getting theatrical movie releases . I'd say more along the lines of depressing like when Adam West died. ya feel me dawg?
