Fart assaults, bitch slappings, clit sniping - I thought I've seen it all when it comes to Internet prostitution. And once again, I was dead fucking wrong.
A coworker at Little Caesars once told me she used the side of a Redbull can to pleasure herself. She said the feeling of her deep-dish pizza bowl being grinded made her cum instantaneously. Is that what's going on here?
Are you seeing that body language? I know that body language. Roughly translated it means: if you pull out again, I'll park my Kia Soul in your asshole next time you fall asleep. Go ahead, ask me. Ask me how I know.
Sorry hungry pedestrians living below the poverty line. Her sexual desires > your iced coolatta. Could someone please email me the news story when she gets caught pissing into the cappuccino machine? I'd appreciate it.
Only 60 seconds into her movie debut, and this DTF-GF is already 86'ing the entire thing. Undoubtedly to keep her name credible in the community and around all things pumpkin spice-flavored. Talk about high-maintenance.
It's all fun n' games until your pre-planned window of jack off time gets commandeered. Humiliation hits these tards like a sac of Power Rangers VHS tapes, but some of them refuse to quit. Essentially redefining 'integrity'.
2 rules: Don't touch the ink. And don't beat the shit out of her face. Talk about high standards. But this fire-eyed hose hog isn't fucking around . One costar decides to test her anyway, resulting in a brief but epic departure.
I wont bamboozle you: this trailer park starter kit is pretty uninspiring. But there's something about girl #2 that speaks to me in a she's sucked dick for chicken nuggets kind of way, and I think it should be shared with the world.
Much like Miley Cyrus after a spirited jog through a petting zoo, you can't trust a damn thing below this guy's waistline. Well... at least she's got pride. Know who doesn't? THIS CREATURE. Kill him, cautiously F-A-P to this.
What once was thought to be a single piss-poor decisions has blossomed into a pattern of mental dysfunction. Lady, I love them tits, but WTFever is going on at 12:18 in that last video requires medical attention. PARTS 1 and 2
Before today I was absolutely certain of two critical things: 1: Blondes are inherently on the spectrum for autism. And 2: Cats are born assholes. Looks like my opinions have officially been reinforced. See her live HERE
I'm linking to her entire gallery of videos, but if your interest is in the fallopian tube rearrangement I've selected for the thumbnail: FRET NOT. Your chlamydia-flavored soccer mom awaits you at the end of this link.
11-picture tutorial on how to secure your status as a registered sex offender. Specifically #9, which is miraculously not sporting a single visible skid mark.
Her body language alone made the P-to-B transaction less probable than Bob Barker headlining UFC 215. Best she sticks to stuff she's good at. Like shopping at Warby Parker & picketing Chipotle. 'straight to A' isnt her thing.
Great face. Nice body. But what really got me on board was the complete lack of logic. Look closely. No brains, no thoughts. So cute you'd almost forget this happens when they get more than half a can into their mouths.
Don't let that lack of muscle tone fool you: She's a protein assassin. We all have a calling in life... and after skull-fucking the basic multiplication skills out of herself, I think we all know what her future holds. ยป networking.
I like how the girl at the end does some Power Ranger hand movements on his dick, keeping things professional and massage-like, rather than giving him a straight up stroke job. In her mind, she's only half a whore. Adorable.
Props to guy laying pipe. I haven't heard a teenager whine that ambiguously since that time I was caught defecating in the Blockbuster drop-box in protest to late fees on my rental of Johnny Mnemonic. FULL SCENE HERE
