Today's menu? Uninsurable throat damage, the strongest rectum in Texas, more chain mail than Scott Steiner's closet, a recipe banned from 78% of Gordon Ramsay's restaurants and an erection even Penn and Teller can't explain to you.
Probably about as legit as Texas Roadhouse employee's washing their hands, but I do admire her dedication to the scene. The facial expressions are on point, and that smoke stack is winking like George Costanza after going 1v1 with a grapefruit.
#of: For half the cost of a Raising Cane's combo meal, u too can be subjected to whatever toxicology violations are lurking behind those master class Double-D's.
Another one of those zero IQ muh sister videos, except this time the roast beef hasn't expired yet and they casted a girl that may have some... uh, experience in this sensitive area. I'm not sayin what you think I'm sayin - know what I'm sayin?
And by "unexplainable" I mean still getting nonsense words like stepsister in our carrot smack catalogue. It's almost 2023, we need a more interesting dynamic. May I suggest United States postman, or the mop bucket at the 7-11 for example.
Yeah uh... so is this what SoCiAL eXpErImEnTs have evolved into? Because if I've lived to the point where park benches have become more dangerous than a dimly lit alleyway after dark in a big city, we may have a problem on our hands/mouths.
Another historical moment that turned Pierre Woodman into the Terminator we know him as today. These deteriorating VHS tapes really do belong in a museum.
The blurring of lines between snorkeling and female independence as illustrated by a sex act that's lead to more adult diapers than In n' Out's Animal Style. Never before has adult entertainment made me prouder of my Walmart reward points.
So... who exactly do we blame here? The beta who lied about the tolerance of his wife's prairie dog nest , or the guy trying to brute force his way to a $17 payday? Don't have that answer, but 1 thing is for sure: The sequel is not in development.
Potato quality footage, daytime gallery shoppers and talks of a Sloppy Benjamin - I'll admit, they had me in the first half. Then I realized she's pornstar Kristy Black.
I'll admit that last clip might be enough to ruin your holiday feast later today. But it's Thanksgiving and you probably need something to talk to grandma about before the sweet potatoes hit the table. You should be thanking me, Mortimer.
Considering one the participants is none other than Riley "anything is a dildo if you try hard enough" Reid I can go either way on the authenticity of this. Mainly cuz it's not the worst way to get the gift of Herpes next to a bag of Hot Cheetos.
Just a tip: When the butthole is tight enough to take your blood pressure, a little pregame ritual might be wise. She's Bella Gray and anorexic gerbils probably produce more waste volume than she does with that trash compactor of a b-hole.
Look, I understand setting realistic expectations for yourself in life... but maybe we can try to do better than communal ashtray next time? I believe in you.
Clearly it's a setup. But there's no doubt in my mind, in some dimly lit corner of a trailer park that doesn't show up on Google maps, this exact scenario is playing out surrounded by Newports & half-eaten cans of Costco's finest meatball ravioli.
Not exactly the most unexpected chain of events from a woman that comes less prepared for war than whoevers handicap stall I invaded at Waffle House last week. Sorry Wheels, but the janitor bucket doesn't meet my capacity standard.
