A rousing assembly of women that don't believe teh night is over until their clout levels have reached unmeasurable proportions. Reminiscent of a reoccurring dream I keep having involving Brock Lesnar and Long John Silver’s Cocktail Sauce.
Contrary to his job title, alpha male'ing isn't exactly this guy's specialty. You could say his opportunities are more wasted than season 5 of The Walking Dead. But I assume that's a-okay when you can tack on "Clout Whisperer" to your resume.
Can you believe we've reached this point? Where these day-1 creators go to the extreme lengths of pumping their gashes full of synthetic sea lotion to bait views? Maybe try out the Vietnam Hand Grenade next time. Authenticity is important.
Carolina Sweets. Picrel seems to be taken during the short window of her adult life when the letters BBC weren't in her vocabulary. I'm talkin literal 14 inch hog hammers that need permits to pass through airport security. War has changed.
Vids like these are hard to find without buying a season pass to Sea World first, so consider yourself lucky. Both for getting to watch it and for not having to be the one to explain the mysterious Newport-infused stains on mom's new comforter.
Clearly it's a setup. But there's no doubt in my mind, in some dimly lit corner of a trailer park that doesn't show up on Google maps, this exact scenario is playing out surrounded by Newports & half-eaten cans of Costco's finest meatball ravioli.
Flattery was never my strong point... and it still isn't. Fuckin room looks like it smells worse than wet Newports, and she's chowing down like it's grandma's old fashion applesauce recipe. Your fellow Walmartians will be hearing about this.
Pretty fkin amazing proportions to be honest. Any man would willingly gorge the frappuccinos out of her symmetrical shitbasket just to say they were in the same room as her tits. You can go ahead and consider your penis retired my good man.
A public service announcement on the cons and cons of searching for discounted hookers lurking in Craigslist's general section. If the intimate relationship with $5 scratch off tickets doesn't erect your cock, the aroma of Newport Menthols will.
Well shit, with proportions and elasticity like that I'll gladly lower my standard and line up at the brillo pad elephant dick barbershop with the rest of em. #noregrats
This is about as unintentional as me using Cowabunga Bay Water's wave pool as my own personal porta potty. Apologies to visitors between years of 1997 - 2015.
Only 3 minutes in and her "DTF-BFF" is already retreating to TikTok. Undoubtedly to feature a status update about why it's important to scrub behind the labia once a month set to the smooth stylings of The Breakfast Club soundtrack. #bossbitch
Jim Cramer stocks, portable toilets at a Morgan Wallen concert and discounted Hamburger Helper on Craigslist: All things I'd touch before giving this petri dish another chance at stealing my limited edition Good Times AMIBO collection.
Camgirl Porn: Sometimes these chicks are as exciting as an audio book of Newt Gingrich customizing a bowl at Chipotle. But throw in a pair of glasses and a girl that pays the vagisil bill with e-tokens, and it becomes a legend in the making.
Like making it past the 7 min mark of the new Matrix movie, Sandra realizes a mistake has been made and there's no refunds. Now stitch that mud box up and get back in the game, BonERGuy67_IDAHO just dropped $5.00 worth of tokens.
Take notes fellas; If girls aren't flocking to your Levi's like extra chromosomes to Shia LaBeouf, then you're doing it wrong. Neighbors, the elderly, second cousins - absolutely nobody is safe from the charm of this community service manager.
