Gotta admit it's always a fascinating moment for me when you find something like this tucked away into the crawl space of a website that considers internal organ rearrangement an aphrodisiac. So like she said... would you just look at it?
What's that old saying? If a technique was used to kill a person in a horror movie, some degenerate from Fuckstick Akansas is practicing it in the back of his third cousin's double wide? Because I'm pretty sure that's what were all seeing here.
I thought this was your everyday girl for a second, but it's none other than Alexis Crystal practically being fucked into early retirement. More brain damage [HERE]
This is why u always round up your CVS bill to the next dollar. In the words of the world's greatest philosopher: “Whatever it takes to save the earth, 'cause granola girls, gets 'em all moist. Homeless girls too. They'll do anything for shelter." - CB
I don't know man, but if your dick looks like it should be on a poster for National Geographic: Ostrich Week... maybe you shouldn't be the alpha in this situation?
I don't know what the fuck she's protesting, but the movement needs a Pamper's sponsorship as soon as humanly possible. Now you take that snail trail right back to the Bronx Zoo exhibit you stole it from and maybe I won't call the authorities.
Made me think about the underground sludge deathcore viking metal show I saw last week. It went from casual music festival, to full blown AIDS epidemic when 1 reckless cunt turned her vj into a full serve car wash. I YELP'd the venue 5-stars.
An increasingly disturbing fetish keeps picks up more steam, but this time the female in question is a total right-swipe. Her snargleburger gets more attention than Elon Musk's Twitter and all I can do is wonder why. New Jersey's finest.
Taps out after 40 seconds of anal and can't take a cumshot without coughing up this morning's corn pops? Afraid that puts u on my no-fap blacklist. Somewhere between Joe Rogans podcast & the final episode of The Golden Girls. #standards
She's been here before, but the content train keeps chugging along. I particularly enjoy her 'less fucks to give than a dark souls speedrunner' attitude. If comps aren't your thing, you can scoop her individual sex tapes here: [-1-] [-2-] [-3-]
uhh, I don't know exactly when 'crankin your carrot while a stranger rawdogs your girlfriend in a 7-11 parking lot' became a thing... but I suspect TikTok is responsible.
Take a generation that considers that Velma show a top comedy, crossbreed them with an addiction to experimental street drugs and this is what happens.
It looks like someone trying to parallel park a Baskin Robbins truck in New York City. Which is ironic cause squinting from this angle reveals some sort of inbred squidward ice cream bar. Think about that before tagging in your tube sock.
At this point, I don't even question human behavior. The only thing separating us from being narrated by David Attenborough, are complicated sneakers and semi-automatic weapons. Turns out the Internet may have been a mistake after all.
Seems like a nice girl. The type that'd throw herself off a building if you missed a text, or cheat on you if your Instagram post got zero likes. But her enthusiasm? I've seen happier faces cleaning the handicap toilets at Renaissance Fairs. Pass.
Wait, could this be a genuine proposition? Maybe. But what you should really be asking is: If Jennifer Lawrence was to crowbar her whisker biscuit, would the walls be comparable to the consistency of pulling apart a peanut butter sandwich?
Oh it's her again. I'm not actually sure what category this library of hers belongs in, but somewhere in between "Hogwarts Erotica" and "Menopause" feels right.
