Another historical moment that turned Pierre Woodman into the Terminator we know him as today. These deteriorating VHS tapes really do belong in a museum.
The blurring of lines between snorkeling and female independence as illustrated by a sex act that's lead to more adult diapers than In n' Out's Animal Style. Never before has adult entertainment made me prouder of my Walmart reward points.
So... who exactly do we blame here? The beta who lied about the tolerance of his wife's prairie dog nest , or the guy trying to brute force his way to a $17 payday? Don't have that answer, but 1 thing is for sure: The sequel is not in development.
Surface-to-air tits like an enhanced Nina North, attitude straight outta New Jersey and doesn't believe in webcam technology created after 1997. If her boyfriend didn't look like he writes Among Us fan fiction, we'd have an all time great here.
Not everyone has this affinity for high prioritizing siphoning the python over a meaningful long lasting relationship. That's cuz not everyone is Anna Chambers
If any of you ever want to launch one of those "Top 10 Ways to Spend $47 Dollars in South America" kind of blogs, make sure this hooker is on the list. Somewhere in between soccer themed flip flops, and a ceramic bust of Gloria Estefan's anus.
"I'll tell ya one thing about my personal life that I've never told before. I never fucked a ten, but one night, I fucked five twos. And I think that ought to count. I think that ought to go in your record as a positive achievement." - George Carlin
What's his secret to success? It's simple really. Just inject 75 milligrams of Dbol directly into your scrotum every 3 days, and you too can gallivant around the neighborhood in seek of menopausal woman in dire need of a hospital visit.
Nata Ocean for the uninformed. She's speaks Latvian, Russian and Hungarian. Not as impressive as my butthole graduating Rosetta Stone for Swahili after gunning through a NachosBellgrande combo. But still admirable nonetheless.
Only the real ones will remember when this cockamanie goof getting sent to Fuck Town USA was pretty much the most watched porn video in the world. It didn't matter what site you dedicated your cum sock to, it was there. For eternity.
Just gonna go ahead and label this one authentic based on dude looking like he thrusts to the rhythm of the Pythagorean theorem. That isn't done by accident.
Protip for my ever-evolving female viewer base: If you ever find yourself in this situation, make sure you order the blooming onion first. Outback servers tend to frown upon this kind of behavior out of the gate. Don't ask me how I know.
Barely 120lbs covered in chicken grease, has the anal cavity stronger than Cyber Truck glass and doesn't believe in safe words, all while being serenade by the smooth stylings of Rammstein. I can't... I can't imagine a more beautiful thing.
I'll admit that last clip might be enough to ruin your holiday feast later today. But it's Thanksgiving and you probably need something to talk to grandma about before the sweet potatoes hit the table. You should be thanking me, Mortimer.
Yeah okay buddy. This part time slam pig is about as much a cheater as I am an advocate for veganism. (hint: there's only 1 green in my house and it says Fruit of the Loom on it) Now call mom and let her know I finally recognized your work.
