The upside to being treated like the exhaust pipe of a Chevrolet El Dorado? Literally nothing. All you have to do is breath and the alpha male fantasy fan fiction will magnetize to you like a herpes outbreak at a Playboi Carti concert.
Straight out of a Twilight fanclub meeting, Devon has found herself between a cock and hard cash. I'm talking a cool $0 payout. Not even enough to send that haircut back to 2007 when Dashboard Confessional's asshole made it relevant.
Sometimes you feel so awkward watching something, you actually want it to be fake. That dude with the coagulated cheeseburger locker gut says otherwise...
If you're the kind of person that enjoys peak sigma male behavior, then this is the video for you. I'm talking the kind of blueprint that guy who used to dress up as a latex demon and run into the woods to shove leaves up his ass couldn't follow.
It could be legit. This wouldn't be the first time a college bro agreed to sample some expired salami in exchange for living rent-free. Annnnd it won't be the last.
Need proof that that stiffing people in your twenties is dangerous? Look no further my credit-enhanced friends. Meet Natalie Brooks. A special kind of girl that clearly needs more than one demonstration to learn her fucking lesson.
Much like an over-hyped celebrity bitch slapping his martial troubles away in front of a confused audience, this specimen ran out of integrity a long time ago. Now wipe up the slime you left near the bagel bites, we have company coming over.
I was going to leave something pleasant here, then I came across one of the most porpospterous displays of OnlyFans shilling I've seen (this month). Sorry lady, I will be reserving my next post-clarity night of nutting for the Sears Catalogue.
Imagine putting trust in a man that has been through this disaster and lived to tell the tale. Time for Alyssa to pack up those meatballs and reassess the future.
If your the kind of man that can enjoy white girls giving back to a marginalized community, then this is the video for you. Don't give a fuck about philanthropy? Then perhaps another video showcasing women's talent suits you better.
If that isn't the look of a girl that's said "i' use dijon mustard as lubricant with for neighbor's mailbox" at Thanksgiving dinner, u can slap my bag & call me Sally. Now flip her over - I don't think Lorenzo got enough AIDS during his first pump.
Inflation is nearing 8%, gas costs more than your 3rd divorce... and you're burning through c-notes so you can jack yourself off with Ginger-Lynn's pinky crammed up your cinnamon ring? Dave Ramsey is gonna shit his appropriately priced pants.
This is called Taking a Swedish Bike Ride. It happens when those dudes with above-average girth fail lubrication preparation. So they pump harder... til a breaking point hits. Somewhere between the 3rd & 4th second degree burns.
Emphasis on those gravity bags at 5:00 too. Jell-o has spent 100 years marketing physics like this and have failed miserably in comparison. Turns out all you need is a 1-bedroom apartment in Latvia and a c-section scar to make math fun again.
Keep an eye on the turd parked in the corner on the right side of your screen. After being denied physical contact multiple times his only recourse is a pity self-jerk as reality slowly punches him the face: Beavis & Butthead had a third friend.
