Taps out after 40 seconds of anal and can't take a cumshot without coughing up this morning's corn pops? Afraid that puts u on my no-fap blacklist. Somewhere between Joe Rogans podcast & the final episode of The Golden Girls. #standards
ex·per·i·menting:
· to try out new concepts or ways of doing things
· performing a scientific procedure, to determine something
· to let your parents find out what those clam baking classes were for
uhh, I don't know exactly when 'crankin your carrot while a stranger rawdogs your girlfriend in a 7-11 parking lot' became a thing... but I suspect TikTok is responsible.
Take a generation that considers that Velma show a top comedy, crossbreed them with an addiction to experimental street drugs and this is what happens.
The e-thots of yesteryear did everything imaginable for nothing more than access to a bottomless keg. Twitter didn't exist, OnlyFans wasn't a thought; It was just a campus full of 18-year-olds on the hunt for their next case of rabid vaginitis.
If only Marvel put as much effort into a post-End Game movie, as this group did into exploring the midlife crisis of a fictitious soccer mom. Just trap Ant Man in Woodman's ass and film the escape for 2 hours. #stillbetterthanQuantumania
It looks like someone trying to parallel park a Baskin Robbins truck in New York City. Which is ironic cause squinting from this angle reveals some sort of inbred squidward ice cream bar. Think about that before tagging in your tube sock.
At this point, I don't even question human behavior. The only thing separating us from being narrated by David Attenborough, are complicated sneakers and semi-automatic weapons. Turns out the Internet may have been a mistake after all.
Seems like a nice girl. The type that'd throw herself off a building if you missed a text, or cheat on you if your Instagram post got zero likes. But her enthusiasm? I've seen happier faces cleaning the handicap toilets at Renaissance Fairs. Pass.
Imagine hitching a ride on a South American city bus and being considered more of a biohazard than the two inches of piss you're currently standing in (barefoot).
Pretty fuckin bold move to do this in public to be honest. But while the Ebay bidding war rages on for that wet spot she left behind, consider this; women.
For fuck sakes, they could've thrown a dart at any WWE training facility and found better actors to film this drizzling shitfest. Yet, now I want them to #finishthestory
The left side of the thumbnail may be something you never experience for the rest of you life. The right side can't be avoided if you've ever taken a $20.00 bill to Shake Shack. This is a masterful piece of art I like to call: The Duality of Man.
In a society where your social status is measured by how many inches of BBC have ruptured your small intestine, you have to assume this Cathy is hovering somewhere in between girl-next-door and cashier at Super Walmart. Any takers?
Saved up all of his Hanukkah nickles for his favorite street performer, only to be left at half mast and dryer than an asshole full of sand paper. The dream is dead.
