Newbie tries to escape the wrath of an erect black man by slowly inching away... but the beast refuses to relent. A suicide dive is her only salvation.
Don't let the cute face & lack of Valtrex in this video fool you: Even the hot ones make mistakes in the eternal quest for 11 seconds of Instagram fame.
Not since walking into a waffle house at 2 AM have I seen such disrespect for the lower half of a brown female. And just like the riot that ended that night, he has no intent of letting $39 worth of plastic surgery go to waste.
Great face. Nice body. But what really got me on board was the complete lack of logic. Look closely. No brains, no thoughts. So cute you'd almost forget this happens when they get more than half a can into their mouths.
Don't let the heart-shaped buttplug fool you. This girl has zero love for strangers and their upholstery. Such as illustrated after she downtowns her charlie brown... which the driver somehow is totally unaware of. Hilarious.
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Some goofy fuck pulled a Spielberg and remastered his entire discography of dick flicks ala Windows Movie Maker. One clip is relatively harmless... but a 30+ combo exhibition video? Nice, but try that on my Magneto function.
2 things I value more than Arby's 5 for $5: One involves quilted toilet paper & pressure assisted toilets. The other is women so into their fantasies, they don't even need a costar to bring da squeeze. Today, 1 wish gets granted.
Symptom #47 that you've graduated from inappropriate MILF, to fully fledged slutiness: you've got 5 minutes between PTA meetings, and instead of preparing questions, you roll the dice & smash sum gash instead.
All but guaranteed to execute any size-queen fantasies u might've accidentally had after an episode of Keeping Up With the Kuntashians. Don't be fooled by that shit eating grin: Your love of vagina dies here and dies now.
Name one thing Pierre 'THE MACHINE' Woodman has not yet encountered at the end of his French baguette? If you said radical spinal surgery with a crisp hint of daddy issues, you're pretty much on the right path.
Her boyfriend's the kinda dude that gets so high, he tries to vacuum his own shadow. Clearly this is a girl that's no stranger to surprise trips to the gynecologist.
She's been gifted the oral capacity of a Meghan Trainor fan, yet keeps her chin count to a solid '1'. Perks: a.) balls-deep is standard b.) forgo any and all application approval for anything, ever c.) all the above. PROFILE.
It's that time of year again. When the sounds of regret coming out of all orifices at once still can't drown out some rimjob who considers the accordion a pivotal musical instrument. It's not exactly easy on the liver...
There's nothing more boner-deflating than being within inches of death, save for your dad walking in on you hammering it to Matt Damon in Good Will Hunting. How this guy managed to ejac is forever a mystery to me.
If I may be so bold, I'll speak for everyone here: I can forgive the low-grade cellphone quality. I can look past Ned Flander's head blocking half the shot. But giving us .GIF over .MP4? 0/10 you ungenerous, greedy shitbag.
There's a thin line between acceptable Facebook profile photos and wrist-deep rectal slaughter. Where that line exists, I don't know... but judging by the decorative wall piece behind them I can guarantee girlie #1 does.
Everybody is born with a gift. Unfortunately theirs is about as useful as Bruce Jenner's vagina. Sure, they can trace the history of the gluteus maximus via one touch, but will that really help greet us at Walmart?
