Talk about bait and switch. Listen Riku, when it comes time to blow my nickles on backpage.com, the last thing I want my mouth on is more udders than pregnant Jack Russel Terrier. Nip/Tuck that shit, kthx.
Is this a real 'bring your daughter to work day' vid? Not with HER attitude. If you want us to believe the family picnic is real, despair is a prerequisite. Same goes for moisturizer and the Aladdin soundtrack. GET 'ER DUN.
Dude's got a knack for tossing sauce... and apparently he's been stockpiling for a week 'cause even a certified cocksmith wasn't expecting to put in overtime hours today. Not much of a talker, but she sure can squawk!
James Randi said it couldn't be done. Man vs. Wild won't do an episode on it. But thanks to Alexis Perez we now have solid proof that if your clitoris has been neglected by daddy long enough, anything is possible.
This tart is a total tramp, but her talents aren't limited to crossing sexual preferences. Get a solid view of that anus and you'll be treated to the all you can eat brown buffet: 2 words Samantha: BUTT BLEACH. Run wit that.
Akira stuck her ching in the wrong chang, and now this giggly goldfish monger won't be able to get the smell of tuna puree out of her codpiece for months. There goes her budding future as a hostess at T.G.I McFuck Yous.
Public climaxing. Doesn't bother to take off her pants. Doesn't care to put down her cigarette. This girl can't give a fuck less about soiling her Victoria Secrets, and I love it. Apathy porn man. That needs to be a thing.
Self-proclaimed thick whisperer and hustler of da hood, Tyrone Brown goes to pound-town on a token BBW-in training with commentary the likes you've never heard outside of an episode of Maury Povich. Just listen.
This ones special. Her face says i only date guys named Lemarcus and i lost my virginity to a vending machine. But from the neck down she has the body of a pornstar. A blind pornstar. From Guatamala. #marryme
A democratic acquaintance at Chipotle has long told me African American men and white cops simply don't get along. After seeing Tyrone Kobe Jermaine Javarie get bullied into BBW twat, I understand why.
Skip the trailer for MTV's next show and scroll right to 1:46. That's when Becky II realizes being on her back in the front yard is comfortable territory, and unleashes a kick that sends Becky I leaking to the orthodontist.
The Dating Playbook by Andrew Ferebee. Buy yourself TWO copies. Cause the current approach of turning your dick into a secret item on the Buffalo Wild Wings menu isn't really panning out, brah. More HERE.
You know your stock is circling the drain when the number one flirtation tactic in your arsenal involves a closed fist, and the finest douchebro tanktop in the Macy's 50% off bin. PS: Keep skipping leg day phaggot.
At 1st Im like wow she's naked in Buttfuck Guadalajara. she's totally gonna get the ole chorizo up the cuchara. That worry was totally legit... up until our star got her tits up and and followed rule #22: Know your way out.
Apparently looking like a Duck Dynasty stunt double turns you into the Merlin of slaying pussy... and today his expertise is all open-source. Practice what you see here and I promise, those hookers will never LOL again.
Tara Reid's deli butcher titjob, toilet paper in a Walmart bathroom & discounted Hamburger Helper on Craigslist: All things I'd touch before giving Sarah Plain and Cunty free room & board ever fuckin again after this.
Critics are gonna have a barmitzvah with this one, but imma go with faker than Chris Brown's heterosexuality. BUT: nobody got hurt, that discharge wasn't CGI and someone added a cool IMDB credit: Physics Whore #2.
Two mugs worth of Germany's finest lagers, and this ladies mouth turns into a portable glory hole. I'm talking blowjobs, community service style. So disgraceful you'd think she was running for president of the US and A.
Today's society literally can't walk more than 10 feet without having to pull the phone out, and feverishly hunt Pokemon. It's a condition us folks in the medical community call cuntosis. But 1 girl just made it livable.
