and by 'moment' I mean the 10 seconds it took for an Ecuadorian hooker to say ADIOS to the gangbang contract and make a run for the door. Only thing missing here is a Mariachi band attempting to cover Cyprus Hill songs.
Much like Miley Cyrus after a spirited jog through a petting zoo, you can't trust a damn thing below this guy's waistline. Well... at least she's got pride. Know who doesn't? THIS CREATURE. Kill him, cautiously F-A-P to this.
I'm pretty sure I just came across a new sub-genre here. I shall dub thee Amateur Millennial Mashing. Much like integrity, it can't be taught - only induced. 6 inches of wet spaghetti and Dress Barn managers are required.
Contrary to her appearance, lead-role acting isn't really this girl's specialty. Her BA in theater was more wasted than a Chinese man's pension check in a casino. But all of that's okay when you can see 360 degrees at all times.
Never have I seen a man do something so disrespectful with such grace. Where there's shame, he shows honor. Where there's suffering, he brings comfort. And where there's romance, well... he really doesn't GAF, HAHA.
I'm all for breaking boundaries, but a little caution should be advised. When trying special team plays you saw on the Internet, it's best to practice first. PROOF: The 12 pack of these bastards being Amazon-prime'd to my house.
Cam whore #2817 has an unintentional FML moment after realizing her 6 inch friend has swam into deeper waters. Luckily she's prepared: Squat, push and cross your tits the breakfast burrito bowl doesn't come out with it.
To my ever growing .07% female viewers: put on your bifocals and pay the fuck attention. This is what u DON'T do before getting married. Stay classy & save the dick-crazed cluster fuck swap parties for college girls and India.
Face of a succubus and she knows her way around a gopher hole. Rarely do I admit this, but this chicky is 1 enema away from a Chipotle burrito bowl on my dime. Unfortunately, my desert rose isn't bloomed enough for her taste.
Freshly szechuan'd Rick and Morty fans get the 3 Stooges treatment after discovering chaturbate.com. The smell of digital prostitution will eventually fade... but video of you juggling another man's donut glaze is f-o-r-e-v-e-r.
Before today I was absolutely certain of two critical things: 1: Blondes are inherently on the spectrum for autism. And 2: Cats are born assholes. Looks like my opinions have officially been reinforced. See her live HERE
I'm thinking it might be best you just stay behind that wall and never reveal your identity. That thing you're sticking through the wall has a hair trigger.
Enjoy this one slowly. For this is undoubtedly the first, last and only time you'll ever see a teenage girl drunkenly slam dunk her own gash directly in front of a disapproving parental unit. In another word... FAPFAPFAP.
This is what happens when you let nerds interact with women in a live environment. Safe spaces are destroyed, genitals exposed - all cause some marvelous bastard found a way to add gangrape DLC to GTA5. HILARIOUS.
Her body language alone made the P-to-B transaction less probable than Bob Barker headlining UFC 215. Best she sticks to stuff she's good at. Like shopping at Warby Parker & picketing Chipotle. 'straight to A' isnt her thing.
Tina Belcher's safe space gets invaded by some dude taking his mushroom to the park, but accidentally found love instead. Does she: 1) Call da police 2) trade gazpacho recipes or c) take Shia Ladork's advice. This ones easy.
Interruption @10:06. And whats our heroes reaction? Going Wayne & Garth on his bashful costar. Don't feel too bad lady. Seeing as I just beat off to the 8 seconds of your howler monkey mother, you're still a star in my book.
A once thought to be lost classic resurfaces. Community college bro gets a pass on rent in exchange for clearing out the cobwebs from his landlady's minge, complete with awkward small talk and blacked.com fuck positions.
Gotta respect a guy that's more interested in his 50% Off Panda Express coupon, than questioning why his 18-year-old daughter is naked in front of the family webcam. Balancing priorities are an integral part of fatherhood.
