Practically 2 hours of social-media influenced acts of whoring - so unprecedented you might have to get the Jiffy Pop ready and clear an afternoon. Don't be fooled by those smiles tho... their love for Internet anonymity dies here and dies now.
Becky LaStarbuck's safe space gets invaded by some degenerate clawing his way to 500 likes and subscribes... only to find the find the school's biggest petri dish instead. Does she: 1) Demand he stop 2) Compare dick sizes or 3) Not budge
Daddy-issue appearance without the feminist dick-hating. Not a bad piece of flib flab. Would I take her out on a date to Wendy's? No. Would I want to use her vaginal utopia to power an indoor slip and slide? Hell to the mother fuckin maybe.
The Midwest: Some go for affordable street drugs. Others, go to make videos that can fuel an entire season of Dr. Phil. This guy does both. 1st he loads up on Slurm, then he shows his sister-cousin who's the boss of this double-wide. A role model?
Sofia plops out a double serving of cantalope du jour & straight up doesn't give a fuck that a family member is within punching distance. The perfect woman exists.
show borbs and vargana or else milk truck arrive lasagna bitch. For 20 hours and then put my 1 feet pinus in your vegana. u will happy. wanna kiss ur panty. do milk
I guess having sex isn't exactly considered "challenging" when someone has the alcohol tolerance of a vienna sausage. Lesson learned: Never try to impress a girl that's probably used the neighbor's cat as toilet paper. #germany #whydidifap
Pic #5 is what you want. Half cause she has masterfully paired an outfit together. Half cause it's the face of a girl who knows the solution to the 3 seashells puzzle.
The biggest downside of following an all-turnip and gluten free water diet? Your soy boy body produces less testosterone than a chipmunk's nutsac. Speaking of nutsacs - take that fucking thing to biology class & leave it there, Foreman. srsly
Adding battle scars to a girl that gave your boyfriend's sausage roll the ole' khlav kalash and getting it on video? Those are the best things you can live vicariously through the Internet & today 2 birds get killed with 1 Russian #metoo movement.
'i porked my mom' porn takes a turn for the acceptable when miss Cinn takes you back to a time when trading Charizard cards for Alf pogs made sense again. I fap.
Today we're going to learn 3 imporant things, so find your trapper keeper and listen closely: #1: Shamelessness is alive and well. #2: Usage of a pretty girl is negotiable. And #3: A guy shaped like GRU has seen more action than me today.
Most chances of sexual activity flatline after being courted by Mike Myer's stunt double. Not in this guy's world. He refuses to let his disability hold him back and here I am wondering how I can translate all 4 Free Willy films into busting a nut.
That might be Riley Reid. And I might have to come up with an explanation as to why my neighbor's cat is walking with a limp right now. #drugsdrugsdrugs
Yes, she's 18-years-old... and slightly defective by the look of things. Really not sure what else to say about her. It's just another one of those geeky broads that's taken their obsession with Harry Potter spells a little bit too fucking far to fap.
Only 1 thing compliments the feel of a holiday weekend - And that's getting more rash on your crotch from a guy you salad-tossed in the toilet of a Portuguese farmhouse. Note to those inbreds in the last clip: Just end the bloodline here.
Don't know the movie, don't give a shit either. But I have no doubt this surprise walkout was caused by a combination of: tucked wiener, unkempt rectal regions and chainsmoking the likes of which Alabama trailer parks have yet to experience.
Never underestimate the benefits of a 3-star YELP hotel that recycles toilet paper. You may leave with a more diseased crotch than all 97-years of Madonna's world tours combined... but the stories you'll be able to tell will be legendary. #facts
