63 minutes of painal. This shit is so faptastic I actually canceled my dinner date @ Del Taco just so I could watch the whole fuckin thing. PROTIP: I cancel Del Taco for no one. THAT'S how good this video is.
Nice tits. Nice body. But what really sold me was the low mileage turd cutter. Take a good look. No wrinkles, no stains. It's nothing more than a mere dot, so cute you'd almost forget Cocoa Puffs come out of there.
This is wrong. More wrong than the time I defecated a weeks worth of BK value meals into the VHS case of Honey, I Shrunk The Kids and slipped it down a Blockbuster drop-box. Actually no, that was hilarious.
The girl in video #1 is actually Jenna Jameson. It's pretty refreshing to know that not even the highest paid crackwhore in porn isn't immune from the delights of accidental sodomy. PROTIP: wasn't an accident.
This bitch is the Mother Teresa of blowjobs. I thought I was a pretty charitable bro after donating 3 Red Bulls to the caravan of female vagrants down my street last week. That's diddly squat compared to this Moesha.
Not really, but technically they should. There's 43 grams of protein chillin at the other end of that meat-stick, and she needs the nutrition like Lindsey Lohan needs cancer. So where's the enthusiasm?
There's a 25 second preroll ad. That's kinda gay. But what's not gay is peeing on women while wearing a cowboy hat. So raise your can of Diet Shasta and welcome home the man that invented just that.
How this girl was sexually aroused enough to secrete a glob of Cool Whip is beyond me. The sack of shit fucking her is as big as a Fiat. Fortunately he knows how to dress. Motherfucking camouflage brah.
Tojo stuck his ching up the wrong chang, and now this poor Asian broad aint gonna shit tofu right for another decade. There goes her budding career as scat girl #8 in the hugely popular "Oops I Defecated On You" series.
How to make your silly art shit 100x better: do headshots on the left and close-ups of the asshole on the right. That's what people really want. To match a face to a turd cutter. Not American Apparel ads.
This dude is the Gandalf of making women cum and today his knowledge is all open source. Just practice some of his teachings and I promise... your 'girlfriend' will never scream rape again.
Oscar Delamos - loving husband, father of 20, and official badboy of Best Western's security/janitorial department. Dude straight swaps free rooms in exchange for crackwhore pussy.
Check out the prunage on the youthful slut-muffin in slot #1. Does she reside in a jacuzzi or is that just what happens to people that wear Fruit of the Loom underwear? lol. Check out
volume #2 HERE.
Dude got tired of wanking off to fantasies of Missy Elliot rolling around in a 2 story bowl of Kraft macaroni & cheese and went for the next best thing - raping a horse. Enjoy death row you monster.
Granted some of the pics are a bit shopped but scroll down a little and check the 2 youtube vids near the bottom. Crazy bitch straight ching-chonged her face into Sailor Moon status.
This will kill any cougar fantasies you might've once had. It'll also peak your curiosity as to how a woman could end up with shit stains at the top of her underwear.
If proportions at all play a role in the size of a man's cock, I'd guesstimate this little honcho is packing something in between a Jolly Rancher and a dinner mint. And yet he still lays pipe like a stud. RESPECT.
A turd cutter with pussy lips. Carl Sagan called it metaphysically impossible. David Attenborough wrote it off as an urban legend. Well, today I stand before you with proof. The labia majora de poopchute is REAL.
Fuckin hell, she's hot. So hot I'd give up my limited edition Tony the Tiger Nike Dunks just to have a lick on the crotch portion of her latex whorefit. Feel free to blush bitch, it's the compliment of a lifetime.
She's trying to get off with one of those rubber cocks that have suction cups at the base. They're supposed to be good for hands-free fun but this broad's clam is so tight that the dildo wont stay put. Kinda hot.
