I can't even attempt to describe this proctologist's wet dream. Her dimensions are more hypnotizing than Mark Wahlberg's cock in Boogie Nights. Actually no... that's another dimension of bewilderment, but u get the idea.
If I may be so bold, I'll speak for everyone here: I can forgive the low-grade cellphone quality. I can look past Ned Flander's head blocking half the shot. But giving us .GIF over .MP4? 0/10 you ungenerous, greedy shitbag.
There's a thin line between acceptable Facebook profile photos and wrist-deep rectal slaughter. Where that line exists, I don't know... but judging by the decorative wall piece behind them I can guarantee girlie #1 does.
Nice taste in women victims. Terrible pickup strategy though. Two words: Adoption Agency. Join the rest of the evolved population and use a dog to break the ice next time, you repulsive inbred piece of antisocial shit.
He's having good luck of the blowjob variety, and it's all caught on webcam. Her reason? Token flow is low and she has to get an edge on all the other pizza sluts. Uh huh. I see her future now... and its wearing Depends.
Another one of those videos where brain cells are left short-circuited after being presented an elementary grade math question. All sorts of lolz, but still a long way to go before catching up to Beavis & Butthead.
South American harlot gets the dignity kicked/punched/stripped out of her after jumping into bed with the wrong husband. Lesson learned: When it comes to men named Alfonzo, keep the guavas tucked in at all times.
If only she put as much effort into those art classes as she does into her Spider-Man BJs, maybe that twat wouldn't be behind a paywall. I like you, I'll fap to you - but the pedestal is still reserved for Six from Blossom.
A beautiful face can make up for anything: Political strangleholds, war refugee negotiations, type 1 genital warts. But this girl? She's a weapon of mass erectile dysfunction and I don't know whether to fuck or flee...
Hipster look without the feminist agenda. Not a bad piece of turkey jerky. Will I date her? No. Will I treat her to a Gummy Bear Jamba Juice and complimentary cornhole evaluation? OHY. Her Twitter. Her YouTube.
It's all shits and dumplings until you give a 67-year-old beet farmer a cyclopean erection. He was invited to look-no-touch - he went bobbing for carp instead. We call it 'sexual assault'. China calls it 'breaking the ice'.
Skip to the end. The part where he goes 4th of July inside the walls of her meat wallet. If the consistency of his brand doesn't scream 'i maintain a steady diet of yogurt, honey & Elmer's glue' I don't know what does.
DOMINO EFFECT: she goes 2fast2furious on her clitoris > sound alerts boss > surprise confrontation almost makes her give birth to a Hershey's special dark bar. Find her HERE where she bills herself as a cool 55lbs.
If only the planet of ham from this classic were here today, we could get his approval. Or h8 since his only documented contact is with Ralph Macchio. Point is: Karate Kid is a good movie and deserves our respect.
JinJang and Co. drop their porkbuns and head to the streets for some good ol' fashioned Shanghai fun: Going berserker barrage on a defenseless girls undergarments. It's like watching Bill Cosby in 1983. Too soon? Too bad.
One time something Japanese-related decides not to censor genitalia... it involves a love doll built for Verne Troyer. But the key phrase today is: LOVE STORY. This has one that would make Twilight shit it's pants in envy.
3 groups of degenerates that have truly mastered the art of public debauchery. Blondie doing the 24 dong taste test may be a (worthy) repost, but Mr. Bean's sidewalk slam and the camel sliders sure as shit aren't.
An eight minute crash course on how to squeeze every shekel out of your favorite vagrant - as illustrated by a guy that barks out more instructions than a fucking ride at 6 Flags. It's priceless information really. Trust me.
S'n some D only has a few rules: Minimal teeth usage and keep the c-rings away from all other jewelry. Not a hard list but this backpage.com alumni decides to test fate anyway, resulting in an epic rage quit. GG NO RE
