Talk about bait and switch. Listen Riku, when it comes time to blow my nickles on backpage.com, the last thing I want my mouth on is more udders than pregnant Jack Russel Terrier. Nip/Tuck that shit, kthx.
Is this a real 'bring your daughter to work day' vid? Not with HER attitude. If you want us to believe the family picnic is real, despair is a prerequisite. Same goes for moisturizer and the Aladdin soundtrack. GET 'ER DUN.
James Randi said it couldn't be done. Man vs. Wild won't do an episode on it. But thanks to Alexis Perez we now have solid proof that if your clitoris has been neglected by daddy long enough, anything is possible.
The 'celeb' section gets less action than a transgender feminist faking menstrual cycles during a monster truck rally. If these skankaroonies don't start making better use of their genitals, I might shitcan the entire thing.
This tart is a total tramp, but her talents aren't limited to crossing sexual preferences. Get a solid view of that anus and you'll be treated to the all you can eat brown buffet: 2 words Samantha: BUTT BLEACH. Run wit that.
Pretty erotic amirite? Too bad she's not really his sister. This is pornstar Naomi Woods. Not familiar with her line of work? Let me put it this way: That clam shell has serviced more cocks than an Oklahoma dairy farm.
Akira stuck her ching in the wrong chang, and now this giggly goldfish monger won't be able to get the smell of tuna puree out of her codpiece for months. There goes her budding future as a hostess at T.G.I McFuck Yous.
Name one thing Pierre 'THE MACHINE' Woodman has not yet encountered at the end of his French baguette? If you said radical spinal surgery with a crisp hint of daddy issues, you're pretty much on the right path.
Public climaxing. Doesn't bother to take off her pants. Doesn't care to put down her cigarette. This girl can't give a fuck less about soiling her Victoria Secrets, and I love it. Apathy porn man. That needs to be a thing.
Self-proclaimed thick whisperer and hustler of da hood, Tyrone Brown goes to pound-town on a token BBW-in training with commentary the likes you've never heard outside of an episode of Maury Povich. Just listen.
This ones special. Her face says i only date guys named Lemarcus and i lost my virginity to a vending machine. But from the neck down she has the body of a pornstar. A blind pornstar. From Guatamala. #marryme
Relatively cute face. She could almost pass for Olivia Wilde's asshole. Unfortunately her twat is producing more annoying content than a Buzzfeed article. I can smell the fuckin Pecorino Romano cheese from here.
Skip the trailer for MTV's next show and scroll right to 1:46. That's when Becky II realizes being on her back in the front yard is comfortable territory, and unleashes a kick that sends Becky I leaking to the orthodontist.
The Dating Playbook by Andrew Ferebee. Buy yourself TWO copies. Cause the current approach of turning your dick into a secret item on the Buffalo Wild Wings menu isn't really panning out, brah. More HERE.
You know your stock is circling the drain when the number one flirtation tactic in your arsenal involves a closed fist, and the finest douchebro tanktop in the Macy's 50% off bin. PS: Keep skipping leg day phaggot.
Sorry aspiring gynecologists of America, his animosity for the cervix > your safety warnings. Could someone please email me when they get real adventurous & she ends up impaled by a pool noodle? I'd appreciate dat.
Buttsex is buttsex, I don't discriminate. But I bet you 5 buckaroos that this scallywag had no idea there was an upside to it. I can literally see her slowly transforming from :| to :D with every uppercut to the pancreas.
2 beers turn this rookie into the Jim Lahey of live-in girlfriends. First, she attempts to mark the futon, then she moves to the kitchen to deposit her wonderpuss. I think Budweiser just found itself it's new spokeswoman.
