Ya know what... when you're stuck with gynecomastia and the endurance of a Snorlax, scoring a woman of this caliber needs to be celebrated. Congratulations.
Infuckingcredible. I'd double-fist the Saag Paneer from her overpopulated shithole just to get within reach of those calcium-loaded funbaggers. [Twitter] And her [Instagram] where she labels herself as "Gaming Video Creator" lmao
And by caught I mean encouraged to bareback strangers she met at the self-checkout lane in Target while her toadstool'd husband slap boxes his cocktail frank under dim lighting from another room. Sickening. more: [I] [II] [III] [IV]
Between the instructions that actually devolve human beings and whatever the fuck ancient language was trying to leak out of the guy in the last clip, I think it's safe to say we have some form of a predicament in our educational system(s).
Walking into a dorm room that permeates the aroma of cocoa butter and D-cell batteries only has one of two outcomes. And both of them involve inoculations.
Anal rly should have a universally accepted weight requirement. Performing with this lvl of proportion disparity is sure to result in a sphincter collapse comparable only to fast food muckbanging. McRib connsesuries know what I'm talking about.
See? Not every post here has to be about unsuitable bodily penetrations and the Montana residents that love them. Sometimes you gotta slow down and appreciate women that would charge $99.99 to drop ship you their fart jars.
Double team raw dogging a lady of the night sure is a bold choice. Almost as bold as filming, saving and consequently having your wife stumble upon said video because you forgot how cloud backups work. That daggone syphilitic technology.
She claims this is legit, and it's the first time "meeting" this dude. Okay lady, sure. And the gangrene I got from "introducing" myself to a stripper that considers Canadian pennies a form of payment will just go away with fast orange and water.
If I remember correctly she was a 1 and done. Which is unfortunate, because she had the face/rectal tolerance of a star that could have lasted the entire 2.5 year lifespan the average girl in this space pulls before spiraling into an eating disorder.
I dunno what the fuck she's protesting, but this movement needs a Pampers sponsorship as soon as humanly possible. Now you take that snail trail right back to the Bronx Zoo exhibit you stole it from and maybe I won't call the authorities.
Adrien Brody levels of acting here. The story, the camerawork, the multiple cuts to fit in a few doses of Valtrex. If it wasn't for those double milk jugs stealing the spotlight our dude might be up for an Oscar. Someone get the nomination going.
It became glaringly fake the moment they panned to a gym bathroom and there wasn't a Resident Evil outbreak bucket of mold on every surface. Good try tho.
If you want attention in 2025, it's gonna take a lot more than hangin brain in the checkout line at Hot Topic. So take notes ladies, because it's this kind of work ethic that springboards you from "girl friend" to "girl wife". Respectfully of course.
It's insane this still happens in 2025. All the technology in the world, traveling at unfathomable speeds is at your fingertips and your target is the soggy ass of an innocent girl paying 27% interest on overpriced coffee beans? Do better bruh.
What are the last 3 words you want to hear after getting naked in front of your /fom? If you answered "is that Helmans?"; you're wrong. But points will be added.
I remember when couples would upload their finest Nokia flip vids onto websites that couldn't get cleared for an SSL certificate. So trust when I say having more flash tattoos than visible skin is a bit distracting from the story ur trying to tsell.
Turns out using your velvet buzzsaw as a communal carpet cleaner isn't offensive to everybody. Let this be definitive proof that testosterone still exists in the world.
