If everybody is born with a gift, hers is performing acts of infidelity without as much as a trace of last night's double serving of guacamole streaked onto the finest imported vegan leather. That's gotta be worth something to somebody.
Always the same setup with these Clydesdales: Find a soft 7, then time it just right to bust a nut while asking for directions to Wetzel Pretzel. Today is no exception.
Not every day someones title has me scratching all three nuts in bewilderment. But "Dumb Flashlight with Cow Tits" is a choice. Not even all 32 volumes of Encyclopedia Britannica are any help and my disappointment is immeasurable.
She looks like a sweet girl. The kinda woman that would have a homemade bowl of Gaspacho ready for you after a long day of work. Anyway [heres] her chowing down on this dudes bag like its hiding grammas old fashioned marmalade recipe.
Velma Gigglebush may look like a non-threat, but don't let it fool you. Behind those bifocals and semi-sanitized vajeen exists a girl that would power fuck your boyfriend/husband/mazda miata if given 3 consecutive unsupervised mins alone.
Alright it's time for these South American couples to scale it back a fucking notch. Most OF girls barely expose a pubic hair for 6 figure days, meanwhile Valentina and friends are facing radical spinal surgery for less than 2 scoops of rocky road.
I'm smoking on that Bhutanese shadow garden grown dark evil pack. They watered this with the blood of 36 dragons. Shit's so purple it should be asking me "Where's Ronald?" This shit will turn your pacemaker off. Nuclear levels of sour.
Those tits have gone through more transformations than Matt Hardy's wrestling career over the years. Literally 1.5 decades of confusion. Believe it or not she still offers access to them for less than the cost of a Tim Horton's breakfast sandwich.
The title may be bs, but at least it's not A.I. An unfortunate level of acceptance our dystopian future has waiting for us when it comes to waxin the carrot. Almost as depressing as that spine tattoo acting as a roadmap to her Hersey Kiss faucet.
Stewart and his local Dungeons and Dragons chapter approach your wife with their war drums out, looking for an impromptu handicap match. What do you do?
Not sure where the "confirmed" part comes from but we can assume that room smells like a balanced mixture of old rolling papers and soggy banana peels.
Most notable is [Area51Freak] Not a common name you see around these parts. Probably because it sounds like she was knee deep in Runescape quests when she came up with it. And much like OSRS, you don't need a big rig to please her.
The $28 budget isn't winning awards, but I gotta admit: I like her look. It screams "i lived in a trailer park but dad let me drive the trans am to school sometimes"
She may be all giggles and Valtrex right now, but the 3:00AM smile will soon fade once Becky Smackapuss gets the dry cleaning bill for that Target linen. #doomed
If uve been gifted the dimensions of a jar of grammas old fashioned marmalade, then you may have never experienced this situation. Alpha Chads such as yourself would power through both this interruption, and the following domestic assault.
One of those rare moments where I can overlook the Pepboys bolt-on milk sacs because the performance is legendary. More strawberryshan deprivation HERE
If her facial expressions look familiar to you, then you too have felt the sweet kiss of Red Lobster's endless shrimp platter. A feeling taken from us all way too soon...
