Ya know what... when you're stuck with gynecomastia and the endurance of a Snorlax, scoring a woman of this caliber needs to be celebrated. Congratulations.
Dragging your contractually obligated meat pocket to a secluded beach for 4 minutes of rubber-coated humping is cool and all, but where's the art? A sand enema, a jellyfish tampon; can you start thinking outside of the box please?
Where the fuck has she been practicing that technique and are they still allowed within 100 yards of Thanksgiving dinner? These 2 things seem to be intertwined.
Being converted into a middle-aged pretzel probably wasn't on the to-do list for ole' perky tits Tina, but it just took her Sheldon Scale rating from a 4 to a hefty 7.3.
Less meat on her bones than a vegan dinner plate. So I guess we should all be surprised that she not only survived the assault on her cinnamon monkey biscuit without breaking a bone - but enjoyed the entire ordeal as well. That's a keeper.
Classic case of overconfidence. If only she put as much research into this man's business model as she did into Instagram's "fix my tits" filters, then maybe all of this could have been avoided. Ah well. Live, learn & never trust ads on Craigslist.
Not rly surprising from a girl that willingly chose the alias [shrOOms Q]. Moon lettuce & it's sibling psychedelics have led to many unscrupulous hole invasions.
Originally known as "PP Friends Productions" or "The League Girl", this chick had a small corner of the Internet in a chokehold for like... 6 months. And then disappeared faster than riot breaking out at Waffle House. [more of her here]
Said thumbnail is at the 1:35 mark. Honestly it's not very eventful. But for a split second during Sandy's post-ass whooping call for a time out, she looks like Clint Eastwood with long hair and double-D tits. It's kinda erotic when u think about it.
Fact: Cam girls are forever evolving. Take this lively South American fuck goof for example. When the pesos started slowing down she introduced "La Torta de Dinosaurio" to the show and engagement skyrocketed. Entrepreneurship is crazy.
If you think one Dutch girl's journey to turn her rectal cavity into affordable housing is where this type of content ends, you would be right. I wish you were right. And that last clip proves you should have been right. I hate the Internet.
The amount of women that wait in que to get bulldozed by this maniac is actually surprising. What could be done in the privacy of your own home with a gas generator and jumper cables, has been brought to public view. In high defs.
Mariah's trip to Pumptown proves memorable. For the guy trying to double-dip, not her. spoiler: the microbiome on that couch is the final boss in Resident Evil 9.
This woman is the Nelson Mandela of butt blasting. A sacrificial lam if you will. I thought I was a charitable dude after donating 2.5 bags of Hot Cheetos to my local soup kitchen. That's diddly fuckin dick compared to this selfless act.
The aroma of McChicken wrappers and a homeless man's piss rag may not do anything to get your penis to maximum hardness. But you aren't part of this duo.
My gut tells me soon after this video finished, her status as "loyal girlfriend" was about as believable as the Fast & Furious franchise stopping after the 47th movie.
