Believe it or not this was actually voted the number two reason to wake up Saturday morning with an unexplained rash in between your ass cheeks. Only falling short to raw dogging Taco Bell's new Cantina Chicken Mexican Pizza.
Probably clickbait but it's 2026 and I've stopped assuming people aren't insane enough to rocket punch a fistful of their own family member's bush on a major highway. Dread it. Run from it. Degeneracy arrives all the same. And now it's here.
The camera never pans downtown, so we don't know if that blowhole has more gape in it than the San Andreas Fault. But despite her knuckle oven seeing diapers before the age of 30 or not, dude landed himself a bonafide superstar.
After 4.3 seconds of research it seems this poviya is more into "spooning corn fritters" [ see: Having Anal sex with a female that does not practice anal hygiene and fails to evacuate before participating in anal play ] than she is into infidelity.
In what must be the lowest effort "muh content!" video of the fucking year, this pair of cornballs pull off Twitch-levels of cringe. office_noise.mp3 has been put on notice. You know it's bad when Bangladeshi comments are calling you boring lul
As far as historic rope throwing content goes, this has to be somewhere in the top 10. Before breaking tha internet was an overused buzzword to shill celebrity shit slop, this Slavic masterpiece was Double-D'ing her way to legendary status. #win
7 mins of screen time and not once did the camera pan down to her luke warm filipe puckered starburst, leaving viewers concerned that they have been duped into participating in false advertising. Have we entered the era of "dick-baiting"?
Short of being an extra on Rocco's Retirement Village Tour (2035) I'm not sure these talents r beneficial. Never knowing the feels of a consensual relationship maybe? An existence without having to shop for birthday gifts? i dunno man...
Started at the bottom, now we're here. And by here I mean vigorously being tested for sexually transmitted diseases because Derrick from the Walmart parking lot insisted on not using any form of protection during his big moment.
Not sure what the attraction to making this kind of content is, but it may have something to do with Jossepi's double serving of all American beef. Just a hunch.
If that isn't the look of a woman that's said "i've used dijon mustard as lubricant" at the table during Thanksgiving dinner, you can slap my bag and call me Shirley.
If only the avg girl put this much effort into carving out an a-hole that belongs in a museum, maybe I wouldn't be talking to a therapist about my sexual attraction to Reese's peanut butter cups this weekend. E-books will be written about this.
18 semesters of Namibian dance theory paid, and this is how you return the favor to ur parents, Becky? u r a disgrace to the once great town of Ballbag, Nebraska.
Sorry Chuds, but I'll pass. I prefer my pseudo-sister slampig content to be as believable as possible. That means more screeching about who ate the last Pop-Tart & less TikTok-level acting that makes my crotch itch just being a spectator.
These kinds of facial reactions are normally produced only after learning the art of kung fu fornications such as the testicle thunderstorm or the disgruntled rhinoceros. In other words don't attempt on those with weak immune systems.
Honestly, I dig the vibe. She's 1 part goth, 27 parts mental patient. Make direct contact with her cervix at just the right velocity and she starts throwing the kind of rival gang signs that would get your ass smoked in Rancho Cucamonga.
That stance she takes around the 16:14 mark and her saying "okay" to the entire book of flash tattoos tells you all you need to know about this videos authenticity.
Cece Capella. If you're unaware, this girl single-handedly had a literal choke hold on the gooner scene up until around 2017. I wonder what she's up to tod... [oh]
Normally it takes an incestuous story line and at least a $20 gift card to Starbucks to get Aubry Babcock on the wet end of an average penis. But today is SPECIAL.
Congratulations to the golden glove duo working that dude's bag like a 19th century gandy dancer (look it up). Homie may have survived all 9 rounds, but he'll never be able to eat applesauce without a war zone flashback ever again.
She may be all giggles and Valtrex right now, but the 3:00AM smile will soon fade once Becky Smackapuss gets the dry cleaning bill for that Target linen. #doomed
