I understand the need to deep dive western european dirt stars in a 3v1 handicap match. I don't understand why one of them has to be dressed up as Spiderman.
Going hands free may not be an option. But the Duoplex community abandoned her a long time ago so this isn't exactly a foreign concept. Applications are open.
Congratulations to the golden glove duo working that dude's bag like a 19th century gandy dancer (look it up). Homie may have survived all 9 rounds, but he'll never be able to eat applesauce without a war zone flashback ever again.
Started at the bottom, now we're here. And by here I mean vigorously being tested for sexually transmitted diseases because Derrick from the Walmart parking lot insisted on not using any form of protection during his big moment.
30 seconds in and two things will become glaringly apparent: 1) We've been grossly mislead about Alabama's tourist attractions. And 2) At least 50% of the people who seek these out have ejaculated to lawn mower maintenance videos.
Not everyone has this kind of affinity for high prioritizing siphoning the python over a meaningful long lasting relationship. That's cuz not everyone is this girl.
Today's fix? Unfixable societal damage, the strongest vaginal lining in Arkansas and more teamwork than then Norway FIFA team. The PTA meeting is cancelled.
As fate would have it combining the genetics of a 1st-world pornstar and modern tech yields impressive results. 7 seconds. 7 seconds is all that you will spare her.
Stewart and his local Dungeons and Dragons chapter approach your wife with their war drums out, looking for an impromptu handicap match. What do you do?
She looks like a sweet girl. The kinda woman that would have a homemade bowl of Gaspacho ready for you after a long day of work. Anyway [heres] her chowing down on this dudes bag like its hiding grammas old fashioned marmalade recipe.
Velma Gigglebush may look like a non-threat, but don't let it fool you. Behind those bifocals and semi-sanitized vajeen exists a girl that would power fuck your boyfriend/husband/mazda miata if given 3 consecutive unsupervised mins alone.
Some would say her build is an outright unfathomable piece of modern day art. Others, nothing you wouldn't see after accidentally falling on the ground in the women's handicap bathroom stall at a California Starbucks. Or so I'm told.
Classic move, but one that's gonna need more practice if it's going to give Limpin Larry enough motivation to erect the other half of his penis. #cialis. Look into it.
2004: Facebook launches for the first time, Ashlee Simpson jigged her way into irrelevancy and this jovial mother fucker was using his power of aspergers to give second stringers a reason to show up on set. I'm talkin half girth, half Pokemon.
While padding your resume may not exactly be something generally frowned upon when seeking an enhancement in your employment opportunities, safety should always be your first priority. And at least 1 change of your finest linens.
Honestly, I'm shocked. And by shocked I mean quietly contemplating how much longer it will take social media to completely remove all empathetic reasoning from the human genome. Direct all your body fluids accordingly. More [here]
An avalanche of tits that the most experienced mountain climbers would struggle with. Pair that with a gash that doesn't look like it's been one of the victims of Haddonfield and you're working with some triple A prime beef slab my friends.
Gotta admit; That's some impressive distance being covered with each wad. If the rumors of breakdancing being replaced with this at the next Olympics games is true, we may be witnessing a gold medal contender here. Bring on the sponsors.
Broken dialogue and dimly lit sexual acts that would be embarrassed to find themselves in a McDonald's drivethru. Name is unknown, but when she's not getting rushed down at 4" per minute she watches Hallmark channel. Probably.
Selective fish-eye lens or are we looking at the missing link between man and clydesdale? idk know but somewhere in the world Levis is working on a solution.
One of those rare moments where I can overlook the Pepboys bolt-on milk sacs because the performance is legendary. More strawberryshan deprivation HERE
Not every day someones title has me scratching all three nuts in bewilderment. But "Dumb Flashlight with Cow Tits" is a choice. Not even all 32 volumes of Encyclopedia Britannica are any help and my disappointment is immeasurable.
