A public service announcement on the cons and cons of searching for discounted hookers lurking in Craigslist's general section. If the intimate relationship with $5 scratch off tickets doesn't erect your cock, the aroma of Newport Menthols will.
Captain Lou Albano's love of replica katana swords and pop tarts has finally attracted someone that doesn't have access to their Nigerian mailman's third cousin's billion dollar bank account. I guess getting it on film should be excepted.
Alright it's time for these South American couples to scale it back a fucking notch. Most OF girls barely expose a pubic hair for 6 figure days, meanwhile Valentina and friends are facing radical spinal surgery for less than 2 scoops of rocky road.
cuck·old/ˈkək(ə)ld,ˈkəˌkōld/
→ (of a man) make (another man) a cuckold by having a sexual relationship with his wife. And in some rare cases, witness to a rare anaconda on human attack.
Classic case of overconfidence. If only she put as much research into this man's business model as she did into Instagram's "fix my tits" filters, then maybe all of this could have been avoided. Ah well. Live, learn & never trust ads on Craigslist.
Using rectal sex as a vehicle to suffer more brain damage than a lifetime of galaxy gas + scrolling TikTok is a tad concerning. It may be time for reevaluation.
Her body-to-box ratio is insane. Literally carved right out of the blueprint for "girls I would give up red meat just to be in the same room as one of her brappers after a solo speed run of Olive Garden's Tour of Italy". In other words -- I fucks with it.
Just when you think it's safe to trust again, some vagabond goes and makes unannounced deposits in your sausage mitten. Was it worth the beating Vladimir?
Easily the most deplorable attempt at infidelity to ever grace my 11" Amiga computer monitor [this week]. And that's coming from a human being who's seen more than 23 consecutive mins of an Dwayne Johnson movie. My opinion counts.
Is there a third Bella twin I've been unaware of this entire time? I'm getting some serious WWE vibes from this performance. Ya know; mid-card acting, main event placement and knowing she probably banged John Cena somewhere in the past.
George Lopez is juiced to the gills and managed to procure one of Starbuck's finest Coffee Artists™. The result? Only her gynecologist and Jiffy Lube knows.
Are all sex merchant Asian girls preprogrammed to do the open mouth youtube thumbnail reaction no matter how big/small the bean is? example: [shena nomy] acting like Joe Averagecock's 5 inches are gutting her like an industrial chainsaw.
Infuckingcredible. I'd double-fist the Saag Paneer from her overpopulated shithole just to get within reach of those calcium-loaded funbaggers. [Twitter] And her [Instagram] where she labels herself as "Gaming Video Creator" lmao
It's not every day someone's video title has me scratching all three nuts in bewilderment. But "Dumb Flashlight with Cow Tits"? Not even all 32 volumes of Encyclopedia Britannica is any help & I find my disappointment is immeasurable.
The true downside of marrying prostitutes from russiabride.com? Every wiener in a three-mile radius is using your 9-5 to unload some nut sac gazpacho on your significant other And don't even get me started on the ridiculous storage fees.
For these philanthropists, it's about destroying societal norms and giving back to the neighbors. Climb that mountain and nothing shall come between your communal oral cavity and legendary status. Save for a viral outbreak or four...
Dude's dick looks like an authentic Leberwurst recipe that got abandoned before the oven timer went off so one has to question the agenda here. More food tips.
If we could go ahead and get an ID on her, that would be fantastic. Try to time it around the Black Friday sales on 10-packs of tube socks if possible. Appreciate it.
Staring at wood paneling as her middle-aged leather cheerio permeates the air with the aroma of Newport Menthols and Skittles. That's the life we all strive for.
Zero signs of protection. Decor looks like it was bought off a truck in a Best Buy parking lot. Booty hole is surprisingly void of bed bugs. Consider this a rare pull.
Nothing gets a 40-something moist quite like BOGO sales at their local Target. Couple that with 2008's finest fashion choices and you got a recipe for the craziest future Facebook chain posts. Mall parking lots will never be the same.
30 secs in and 2 things have become apparent: 1) I've been grossly mislead about Nebraska's tourism attractions. And 2) at least 50% of the people in comments below this have ejaculated to fully clothed women in the Nordstrom catalogue.
