A better title for this one would be "Last nights pasta primevera makes a surprise reappearance but my daughter can't stop violating herself for strangers in Uzfukisthan so I can't use my own shitter". Unfortunately there's a character limit.
"Squirting on the UBER driver" usually isn't a service you can add through the app. But anyone that's taken the old Taco Bell detour on the way home from a bar knows it becomes negotiable before the trip has been completed. iykyk
George Lopez is juiced to the gills and managed to procure one of Starbuck's finest Coffee Artists™. The result? Only her gynecologist and Jiffy Lube knows.
cuck·old/ˈkək(ə)ld,ˈkəˌkōld/
→ (of a man) make (another man) a cuckold by having a sexual relationship with his wife. And in some rare cases, witness to a rare anaconda on human attack.
Debuting your asshole with this man as your costar is the equivalent of taking your drivers license test at a destruction derby. Against all odds she somehow she not only survived her rectal rearrangement, but thrived for many years to come.
Some women need a good meal and a goodnight text to reach their sexual peak. But this one? Just one half-assed request has her pastrami butterfly goopafied. Not a single phone in sight. Just 2 people living in the moment. I kinda respect it.
After making it to the end of this zero budget shit show I'm inclined to believe it should've stayed forgotten. The full version is over an hour long and makes The Blair Witch Project look like it's part of the Scorsese catalog. I do not recommend.
If her facial expressions look familiar to you, then you too have felt the sweet kiss of Red Lobster's endless shrimp platter. A feeling taken from us all too soon...
What drives a mild-mannered college girl to abandon education and pursue a profession of having her insides prepped like a Thanksgiving turkey? Vapes? The zyns? Letting Katy Perry continue to make music? We may never know. [more]
Zero signs of protection. Decor looks like it was bought off a truck in a Best Buy parking lot. Booty hole is surprisingly void of bed bugs. Consider this a rare pull.
idk where this is, but try it in the US of A and the situation will be immediately amplified a guy 1 Michelob Ultra away from a public rampage. That's a warning. Never underestimate a man with garbage bags full of [this shit] in his basement.
18 year old ass-eating French girl [estefi] is unapologetically raw. If the [anal sex] she partakes in doesn't have you thinking about a month log Euro trip, the combined odor of Pine-sol and frog ass that's lurking behind the camera should.
Seems like a nice girl. The type that'd throw herself in front of a train if u missed a text or cheat because a piece of amethyst told her to. But her enthusiasm? I've seen happier faces cleaning the handicap toilets at Renaissance Fairs. Pass.
Turns out using your velvet buzzsaw as a communal carpet cleaner isn't offensive to everybody. Let this be definitive proof that testosterone still exists in the world.
When you're waving around an object commonly mistaken for a Japanese culinary tool, it's gotta be hard to find willing recipients/casualty. So give it up for Becky Wonderpuss, who know now hears an echo with every footstep she takes.
Dude's dick looks like an authentic Leberwurst recipe that got abandoned before the oven timer went off so one has to question the agenda here. More food tips.
Not a bad reason to jump the pond and do a little sightseeing. In fact, throw in a bowl of your finest solyanka and I might make a weekend out of it. [more here]
Honestly it makes sense. If infidelity was judged on the widening of your rectal cavity, then every man thats peaked their curiosity at chipotle is a serial cheater.
"Sydney Sweeney is not currently engaged; she and her fiancé Jonathan Davino called off their wedding in March 2025. The couple, who were engaged in 2022 after reportedly dating since 2018, have decided to go their separate ways."
I'm no expert, but we may be reaching critical levels of shamelessness here. Or as the Italians used to call it; "Exterminus Adversus Slutterdominous". #historical
Mariah's trip to Pumptown proves memorable. For the guy trying to double-dip, not her. spoiler: the microbiome on that couch is the final boss in Resident Evil 9.
Not rly surprising from a girl that willingly chose the alias [shrOOms Q]. Moon lettuce & it's sibling psychedelics have led to many unscrupulous hole invasions.
Alternate source of income? Unfortunate consequence of normalizing Twitter? Evolution? Try all of the above. Legend has it the last time Little Caesar caught her in the parking lot, a pepperoni famine started. Personally I'm not so sure.
See? Not every post here has to be about unsuitable bodily penetrations and the Montana residents that love them. Sometimes you gotta slow down and appreciate women that would charge $99.99 to drop ship you their fart jars.
