In a society where your social status is measured by how many inches of BBC have ruptured your digestive system, you have to assume this Fiona is hovering somewhere in between "girl next door" and "super walmart cashier". Any takers?
The originator of "hyper squirting" back in the early days of MFC, XFuukaX is not only still active but she's pissing her pants on a pay-per-video basis now. #bidness
I get the "i gOtTa MaKe SuRe tHe ThUmbNaiL hAs tO lOoK LiKe i hAvE BRaIn dAmaGe" bullshit, but could you have spared us the fucking HVAC tape across her mouth? I'd like to keep my erection as far away from Home Depot as possible.
We're talking first OF video here, not first time breaking the seal on her unmarinated waffle stomped shit biscuit. While it still maintains spry elasticity, I'll bet dollars to donuts it has more miles on it than grandads prized El Camino.
Short of being an extra on Rocco's Retirement Village Tour (2035) I'm not sure these talents r beneficial. Never knowing the feels of a consensual relationship maybe? An existence without having to shop for birthday gifts? i dunno man...
She surprisingly lacked the standard amount of lip filler that could inflate the tire of an industrial corn harvester, so the authenticity stood a chance. Then this guy's facial reactions start flaring & slowly took this one from "believable" to "autistic".
Normally it takes an incestuous story line and at least a $20 gift card to Starbucks to get Aubry Babcock on the wet end of an average penis. But today is SPECIAL.
Karen McGoonerson is presented a with a choice: Dance with the mayonnaise maraca she's been married to for the past 4 years, or gallop with the chocolate clydesdale. Do you really have to guess how this one is gonna end? [painfully]
Believe it or not this was actually voted the number two reason to wake up Saturday morning with an unexplained rash in between your ass cheeks. Only falling short to raw dogging Taco Bell's new Cantina Chicken Mexican Pizza.
7 mins of screen time and not once did the camera pan down to her luke warm filipe puckered starburst, leaving viewers concerned that they have been duped into participating in false advertising. Have we entered the era of dick-baiting?
Not since witnessing a mid-moshpit hookup during an Alestorm concert have I seen a love story worth sharing. And much like those adventurous un-showered creatures, Karen's performance and smell won't be forgotten any time soon.
As fate would have it, combining the genetics of a 1st-world pornstar and off-roading can yield impressive results. Now if you'll excuse me I have to watch that new Resident Evil movie trailer and gouge my eyes out with a melon baller.
Gotta admit; That's some impressive distance being covered with each wad. If the rumors of breakdancing being replaced with this at the next Olympics games is true, we may be witnessing a gold medal contender here. Bring on the sponsors.
There's people that skirt along the edge of "normal". Then there's Carrot Top. And finally there's unfixable misfits like the 10 or so specimens you're about to witness on the other side of this click. For our non-Americans: This is why Valium exists.
"Walmart offers savings through daily flash deals and extensive rollbacks often up to 30% off or more. Top current deals include deep discounts on home items and various tech, such as refurbished iPhones, heaters, and smartwatches."
2.5 minutes of supercharged fuckhype videos that will have you re-questioning the circular hole you saw in the 7/11 bathroom stall. (handicapped) Oh it's true.
Before the faux outrage begins; no this bullshit isn't real. This is clout zombie BronwinAuora who's newest grift seems to be convincing a janitor to play duos.
Sorry Chuds, but I'll pass. I prefer my pseudo-sister slampig content to be as believable as possible. That means more screeching about who ate the last Pop-Tart & less TikTok-level acting that makes my crotch itch just being a spectator.
