Kinda off-topic... but whenever this girl reaches maximum tonsil capacity her face crunches up and she sounds like a Maytag washing machine on the rinse cycle lol
Listen up Patrick: when it comes time to splurge mom's xmas money this holiday season - try making it a worthwhile investment. Like a Kindle Fire. Or a noose.
If only she put this much effort into not dressing like a Salvadorian street walker, maybe I wouldn't be talking to a therapist about my sexual attraction to Reeses peanut butter cups this weekend. Thanks Linda. You'll receive the invoice soon.
With a name like iBarbie you'd think she'd have more beta boyfriend. But as you can clearly see by her expressions from 1:31 - 6:30, her emotions are no more negotiable than the super size option at McDonald's. Same salt levels apply too.
This is what happens when the competition pushes you too far. Bloodlines are contaminated, boners get confused - all because some kooky little token gremlin couldn't keep her hands on her own tits. P.S. Watch the full 3hr broadcast HERE
2006: A forgotten time when iPods ruled the world and the only way to efficiently broadcast live sex acts was private Stickam rooms. It's also the time this girl's parental unit got home from The Piggly Wiggly too early and made history.
MFC alumni's safe space gets invaded by some dude hunting a Pikachu, but found a couple of Jigglypuff's instead. Does she: a) 911 b) trade casserole recipes or c) invite him to be part of the felony. This ones easy.
She's drunk, high and/or from southern New Jersey. All of which appropriately explain why she's using her asshole as a greeting card. I have a strong feeling this day ended with at least one health insurance deductible being reached.
Infuckincredible. Unfortunately the Cheeto dust left in the comments under her videos must've scared her off from porn for good because this is her only known appearance. Around here we like to refer to that as pretending dignity exists.
I'm a simple man. I can only imagine the sex life of an active farmersonly.com only has one dynamic to it. And we're fucking looking at it right now. #help
Brodude pays more attention to PajeetWarrior20x3 spamming his chatroom than he does to his girlfriend's orifices, resulting in a no-scope sneak attack of her crude oil tank. And judging by her response... there won't be a second mistake.
Turns out using your velvet buzzsaw as a communal carpet cleaner isn't offensive to everybody. Let this be definitive proof that testosterone still exists in the world.
First time squirters, prolapse-induced climaxes and bittersweet hategasms... today's vid has more variety than a fuckin Sizzler salad bar. Best comes last, so I recommend you see this one all the way through
Not since The Mannetard have I seen such an intense level of misogyny. (this month) Unfortunately there's no followup story to this adventure... but what it lacks in explanations, it makes up for in semi-orgasmic zombie-like moaning.
No clickbait, I'm DEAD SERIOUS. Scroll to the 3:00 min mark and pretend physics still exists. Then call Tom Savini and tell him his services are no longer required.
With a filename like AnalDislike.flv I can assure you this entry was mislabeled on upload. She's got sexual freedom like Miley Cyrus has prescription shampoos for her crotch & it officially raised the bar on my definition of "relationship material".
Sheldon is an expert of 2 things: Fortnite building & frying up the best meatball hot pockets this side of the prime meridian. Unfortunately neither skill will stop her from cheating with a guy that considers windchimes a musical instrument.
She's drunk and/or high on discounted opiates... both of which explain why she's being tenderized like manager's special hotdog meat. Double bag it. Just in case.
Middle-age hit her like a sack of 80's exercise videos, and she needs cash. Bad. How can life get worse? Well, if you guessed being told to suck dick by the Dane Cook of porn directors, you just won my limited edition Power Ranger sex doll.
Symptom #293 you need to end the all-turnip and MDMA diet: You develop the sex drive of a cinder block followed by a speech impediment that could end a marriage in Alabama. But rather than seek Dr. Phil's help, you do this instead.
