Flattery was never my strong point... and it still isn't. Why do I get the vibe she bathes in hot dog water after being force fed off the Burger King dollar menu?
Apologies in advance for the misleading thumbnail. I just wanted to make sure we're all on the same page when it comes to defininig the word "titties" and how they should look as little like the ramp Tony Hawk hit his last Ollie 540 on.
Midgets, Sex toys sponsored by Tim Allen and incestual blowjobs from a parallel dimension. I don't know if this is a video, or 4chan fever dream. More vids HERE
If South America is any indication of social distancing bailing us out of the worst pandemic of our lifetime... I'd say this is proof we are buttfucked.
Somewhere (Germany) there must exist an OSHA violations video that involves a hydraulic press and whatever's left of this guys hammerhead of a chode. #betonit
18-years-old and barely know what a clitoris is. But in this world, all that matters is the size of your churro... and proportionately speaking, dude got a THICC one. Emphasis on proportions. Looks like a banana glued to a mother fuckin toothpick.
Only one thing compliments the smooth stylings of a committed relationship; And that's getting more bang for your buck. As long as your GF's bestie circle does not go beyond the Walmart parking lot, ya dun gonna have good times.
This trend makes you wonder wtf zoomers are being conditioned to beat off to. Careful - One ghost nut to this kind of shit, and you'll be wondering why file names like "lotr_gollum_anal_jamboree.mp4" are on your desktop in a few years.
It's kinda refreshing to see that tourism is still booming for our brothers below the equator. Now let's go ahead and get these gentleman under contract for the next Ghostbusters reboot. I'm seeing at least 103 inches of Oscar winners here.
Self-proclaimed "flat chested stripper" loses total control of herself somewhere between the 47th and 90th uppercut to her cervix. Obviously this is an attempt to break into acting. @midol we may have just stumbled upon your new poster girl.
Kinda off-topic; but whenever this girl pretends she's "getting caught" (every 13 seconds), her face instantly scrunches up and transforms into Michael Cera. Proof @ the 2:59 mark. Direct all body fluids accordingly. p.s. nice mother fucking tits.
Seems these low-grade porn LARPers have acquired some certification from the Macho Man Randy Savage School of Acting? Back in my day this jobber would have laid down for the 3 count without a gimmick, and she would have liked it.
He's got a 6.5 inch ham hammer and she has the reactions of Betty White after spending an afternoon at the gynecologist. Some people out there might say this got cut off before the best part. I say mom did all of us a mother fucking favor.
Infuckingcredible. I'd double-fist the Saag Paneer from her overpopulated shithole just to get within reach of those calcium-loaded funbaggers. [Twitter] And her [Instagram] where she labels herself as "Gaming Video Creator" lmao
Nipples like Steve Buscemi, fasion by Malboro and feet that can only be kept warm by Shaq's foot locker. idk about you but I already nutted 8 seconds ago.
Consider this my open letter to Lilly Ford: I will donate the entire $12.35 I made trying to trade a Krypto Kitty that had down syndrome to a local soup kitchen in exchange for one night of your time and the power tool of your choosing. Call me.
Her dirt tulip is at maximum pucker, and smaller than the cock of an Eskimo in February - so what the fuck was she thinking? And more importantly, where is the apology video of him trying to justify this in front of a 240p TikTok green screen?
Skeptics are gonna have a fuckin field day with this one but try to be optimistic. It makes it much, much easier to manhandle your own ham candle. Trust me, brah.
The last time I saw a girl this desperate for attention in walking distance of a Taco Bell, I had to look up the Spanish words for "help", and "ambulance" and "bitch relax, I'll get you Baja Blast if my supreme combo comes with 2 drinks okay?"
