Nothing peaks interest quite like alcohol-flavored women and their inability to stay fully clothed. So here's 30 of em. Specific interest should be given to girlie numero 3 who has miraculously made it through the night skidmark-free.
Well with a title like that it really upgrades Portugal from "i don't even know where that is on the map" to i'll risk a coronavirus plane ride for a piece of that" for the average western citizen. Consider that your geography lesson for the day.
Certainly no Scarlett Johnanson. But what she lacks in beauty and natural born talent, she makes up for in... well... jack shit. Girl is literally useless. Sitting there acting like she's being forced to watch Amy Schumer do standup at gunpoint.
Overt use of pharmaceuticals, public squabblenecking, 60FPS cameras... this video is more well-rounded than the list of STDS on her Tinder profile. No kicker, but wat it lacks in surprises... it makes up for in the worst dirty talk you'll hear ever.
I've seen this hysteria before. The McRib comes back for 2 days and someone else is trying to sell you bargain beef in the parking lot for half the price. Listen closely Becky: Not now, Not ever. Now where the fuck is my Darkwing Duck happy meal?
oh yeah, I've heard that one before. Same goes for prostitution and the night shift at White Castle. And they all end the same way: Full of grade-F beef and regrets.
Imagine swallowing enough beef to spiral the vegan community out of control, then proclaim it's not for the money. Here's a free tip: It might be more believable if you say it without the echo your butthole is emitting after doing that scene lol.
This ones starts off as a painal video. But much like me during a theatrical release that stars Nicholas Cage, that only lasts about 18 seconds. From there on it's all pleasure. And by pleasure I mean screaming for olive oil-based lubricants.
The best part of keeping a travel-sized Thai-hole on your payroll? Budget banging no matter how "eco-friendly" your $17/night hotel room is for starters. Also AIDS.
What's that old saying again? Once you go black you almost lose your uterus in a domestic street fight, get ejected from your tiki hut, and see the business end of a Ginsu knife? Because... that's exactly what happened here. Shit's fucked up yo.
After bulldozing through Detroit's prosti population, our man broke unfamiliar ground: A woman in it for the BBC, not crackrock. And a sensitive one at that. That butthole took more abuse than a Volkswagen beetle during a soccer riot.
If only she put this much effort into not dressing like a Salvadorian street walker, maybe I wouldn't be talking to a therapist about my sexual attraction to Reeses peanut butter cups this weekend. Thanks Linda. You'll receive the invoice soon.
2006: A forgotten time when iPods ruled the world and the only way to efficiently broadcast live sex acts was private Stickam rooms. It's also the time this girl's parental unit got home from The Piggly Wiggly too early and made history.
MFC alumni's safe space gets invaded by some dude hunting a Pikachu, but found a couple of Jigglypuff's instead. Does she: a) 911 b) trade casserole recipes or c) invite him to be part of the felony. This ones easy.
You can go ahead and brag about your 14 inches of lethal force all you want bruh. If you're not using it to turn all white vaginas into a bowl of Bob Evans Mashed Potatoes, it's about as useful as a hot shower is to this mentally stable female.
Consider the waistline of this overgrown toddler the rights of passage for any girl born below the equator. If you haven't been viciously attacked by Jordi's pork shoulder, then u can never label yourself as making it. sry, I don't make the rules.
In the early days of cam slooting she was a bit of a legend. Both for that set of tits and her willingness to fuck the administrator of a Dungeons and Dragons forum on a regular basis. Brings me back to a time when hope actually meant somethin.
40+ minutes of tapioca ejections that need an episode of Bill Nye dedicated to them. Seriously, if at least some of these mutants aren't suffering from some reproductive system anomaly I'd be surprised. And willing to pay for the secret.
