sry, can't verify more than 1% of these participants are married. But tomorrow is 3:16 day and I've had enough pre-gamed steveweisers to make that ninja turtle in the 1st pic look doable. All I'm sayin is, the garbanzo bean has been activated.
This is called Taking a Swedish Bike Ride. It happens when those dudes with above-average girth fail lubrication preparation. So they pump harder... til a breaking point hits. Somewhere between the 3rd & 4th second degree burns.
Emphasis on those gravity bags at 5:00 too. Jell-o has spent 100 years marketing physics like this and have failed miserably in comparison. Turns out all you need is a 1-bedroom apartment in Latvia and a c-section scar to make math fun again.
Like my reaction after hearing Oprah Winfrey wants to run for president in 2024, you can literally see fear in her eyes. Emphasis on the :24 sec mark with the introduction of a move I can only refer to as The Turkish Can Opener.
New Fetish Unlocked: Making your significant other spurge around the bedroom like she has a car battery jump starting her urethra. Except this is the version where you don't have to outbid Billy Ballsac on that 1972 Datsun rebuild first.
The ultimate persuasion (see: 40+ reasons) to get you down to the clinic and tested for everything from butt crabs to wiener warts. Seriously, if doctors hung photos like this on the wall I would predict a 37% decline in controllable STDs.
Is there a third Bella twin I've been unaware of this entire time? I'm getting some serious WWE vibes from this performance. Ya know; Mid-card ability, main event placement and knowing she probably banged John Cena somewhere in the past.
Turns out fertilizing your own family tree isn't the only extra curricular activity people practice in Frogballs, Arkansas. Just don't be misled by The Rat King's lack of hygiene; Your respect for the modern day alpha male begins here and now.
Another one of those "imagine if the roles were reversed!" moments that twists incel wieners into a ballpark pretzel on Reddit. Sponsored by Lululemon Athletics.
Kinda refreshing to know it's real when the tits move like a bowl of Jell-o that's been left in the sun for too long. I may or may not be talking from experience.
Most erections won't make it past that hobgoblin in the second video, but trust me - it gets better. Not season 4 into season 5 Game of Thrones better. More like final episode "thank fuck this is over, I need to shower this stink off me" better.
Haven't seen that kind of disorientation in a white girl's eyes since Starbucks offered 2x points on a non-holiday. And much like inhaling $18.00 worth of overcooked coffee beans, a price will be paid for jamming that down her throat.
Nope, not even getting a participation trophy for this. I've seen episodes of The Golden Girls with more enthusiasm. FREE TIP: When geriatric sitcoms produce stiffer erections than u, it might be time rethink the whole porn thing. [PART 1]
2 Appletinis into the evening and Olga literally can't calm her tits for more than 10 consecutive seconds. Judging by the video footage, this is both an ethics violation and a crash course on why you diligently vet those profiles on russianbrides.com.
I'd critique the plot... but we are a lot closer to this reality than ever before. Also I want to save the laughter for when some rogue 4Chan hactivist starts swapping some stranger's blueprints with the Nancy Pelosi and Donald Trump protocols.
Make sure you watch this video and dive into her Twitter wormhole first for the complete user experience. They essentially cement Hannah Hays as one of the most concerning specimens to ever Plan-B her way through the porn industry.
Just stick around for the macarena her butthole starts performing around the 0:10 second mark. For most of you, it will be the first time you see this part of the human body pull off these kinds of moves without intervention from Taco Bell.
I recognize that "if a character from A Bug's Life did porn" phenotype. That's none other than Lucy Doll, and let me tell you something brother: It's all erections and extra-absorbent Bounty Paper towels... until you hear her voice for the first time.
