Everybody is born with a gift. Unfortunately theirs is about as useful as Bruce Jenner's vagina. Sure, they can trace the history of the gluteus maximus via one touch, but will that really help greet us at Walmart?
Stripping: aka the quintessential stepping stone to full blown porno. Most trailer park residents cross over ASAP - but chances are they weren't gifted the Carrot Top prop-bag of genitalia. This ones gonna be just fine.
Selena plops a double serving of guacamole right on the dance floor and straight up doesn't give a fuck. EDIT: Upon closer review it looks like she was trying to dunk into the garbage can, but missed a layup instead LOL
If you're the type of guy that gets enjoyment out of unsuspecting migrants being surprised by grade-A southern California tit jobs, Elay is the girl for you. Not your style? Feel free to take a gander at this instead.
Ass like Nicki Minaj? Shameless, nude self-promotion on Twitter? The majority of you have already clicked by now, without catching a view of the churro de maricon dangling up front. If you must blame, blame yourself.
I tend to enjoy the finer things in life: Particularly the McGangbang (look it up), director cuts of Nicholas Cage movies and extreme acts of public intimacy. But as far as complimentary blowjobs go, this just won my heart.
Dirty Sanchezes, Donkey Punches - pretty timid stuff by today's Internet-standard. But check out #3. It's unarguably the most repulsive shit I've seen since Jaden Smith's Twitter account.
For those that don't speak nachos grande, here's the scoop: The evolutionary cul-de-sac you're looking at is Beshine. At 20 lbs a piece, she holds the record for biggest mistakes on Earth, Jupiter and Deep Space 9.
When all your knowledge of cinematography comes from Keanu Reeves, this is the result. I may have inadvertently just uncovered a new action genre even Jason Statham would be embarrassed to participate in.
I've never seen a video with Mia Malkova that made me question my erection, even when she's wearing her ass as a hat. But after edging myself through this scene...
Everybody is born with a gift. Clearly his is having the Optimus Prime of genitalia. Watch in utter amazement as nothing more than a single-handed choke hold transforms his Oscar Mayer into a portobello mushroom.
How/Why this female is stimulated enough to have an orgasm is beyond my knowledge. Her sexual partners include a ventriloquist dummy hung like Patrick Ewing and whatever 25,000 Dave n Buster coupons can buy.
I'll bet 30 Pesos & all 3 self-taped VHS copies of House Party 2 that she spent more time teaching her tits to twerk than studying for that GED. A moral decision that will most definitely pay off at the next ICP concert.
A beautiful face can redeem just about anything - bad breath, small tits, crooked teeth, type 2 genital herpes. But THIS chick.... she's got a booty like Conan the Barbarian and I don't know whether to run or rim.
He watches his own daughter's porn films, but it's okay guys. The daughter sums it up best: "my daddy has a really big penis, and if he got turned on by my movies, I would know. Trust me". Excellent benchmark, m'lady.
Interesting surname. Was it chosen out of love for the search engine... or the busboy at the Panda Express where she clearly binge ate chicken chow mein tridaily? Scroll down, watch last video and you'll understand.
Kinda funny how she's griping about the instability of her implant. I'd be more concerned with the fact that even when it's correctly in place... it still looks like something out of an episode of Masters of Horror.
Apparently this is Bailey Jay, the Vita Don Teese of chicks w/ dicks. I'm not so sure. Some will look at this and see a beautiful shemale, all I see is that goofy fuck from Saving Silverman.
This is her 3rd anal tattoo. First 2 featured the names of her ex-lovers. Hey lady, men come and go. How about for this 3rd one you get something that won't be changing anytime soon - "stupid pug-faced whore".
There's a very thin line between making love and balls-deep cornholio slaughterage. Where that line lies, I do no know, but I can sure as fuck tell you this greasy Estonian sure as fuck crossed it.
