2 things I value more than Arby's 5 for $5: One involves quilted toilet paper & pressure assisted toilets. The other is women so into their fantasies, they don't even need a costar to bring da squeeze. Today, 1 wish gets granted.
Dare give your pocket change to a girl with one of these things crammed up her barking walrus, and you'll be rewarded with more shakes than an epileptic with a day pass to Six Flags. SPOILER ALERT: Bitches be faking.
Easily the most deplorable attempt at sexual assault to ever grace my 13" Amiga computer monitor. And that's coming from a man who's seen more than 18 straight minutes of an Adam Sandler movie. My opinion counts.
The more colors in her hair, the crazier the bitch is. A simple concept... and one that's officially reinforced thanks to this 97lb puddle slut farming the fuck out. Put it this way: Just watching her gave me Hep-C. It's that serious.
Symptom #47 that you've graduated from inappropriate MILF, to fully fledged slutiness: you've got 5 minutes between PTA meetings, and instead of preparing questions, you roll the dice & smash sum gash instead.
All but guaranteed to execute any size-queen fantasies u might've accidentally had after an episode of Keeping Up With the Kuntashians. Don't be fooled by that shit eating grin: Your love of vagina dies here and dies now.
Name one thing Pierre 'THE MACHINE' Woodman has not yet encountered at the end of his French baguette? If you said radical spinal surgery with a crisp hint of daddy issues, you're pretty much on the right path.
Her boyfriend's the kinda dude that gets so high, he tries to vacuum his own shadow. Clearly this is a girl that's no stranger to surprise trips to the gynecologist.
She's been gifted the oral capacity of a Meghan Trainor fan, yet keeps her chin count to a solid '1'. Perks: a.) balls-deep is standard b.) forgo any and all application approval for anything, ever c.) all the above. PROFILE.
This is XXX_Diamant. A legend in her own right when Romanian girls ruled the cam game. This history lesson shows us what incurable daddy issues look like... except this visual's got wood. Quite literally I'm afraid.
It's that time of year again. When the sounds of regret coming out of all orifices at once still can't drown out some rimjob who considers the accordion a pivotal musical instrument. It's not exactly easy on the liver...
There's nothing more boner-deflating than being within inches of death, save for your dad walking in on you hammering it to Matt Damon in Good Will Hunting. How this guy managed to ejac is forever a mystery to me.
If I may be so bold, I'll speak for everyone here: I can forgive the low-grade cellphone quality. I can look past Ned Flander's head blocking half the shot. But giving us .GIF over .MP4? 0/10 you ungenerous, greedy shitbag.
There's a thin line between acceptable Facebook profile photos and wrist-deep rectal slaughter. Where that line exists, I don't know... but judging by the decorative wall piece behind them I can guarantee girlie #1 does.
Fire up League of Legends at any given time and you're sure to be communicating with a post-250 pounder that thinks Pop Tarts are a food group. Say hi to the exception. She's like Olivia Munn... except interesting.
Everybody is born with a gift. Unfortunately theirs is about as useful as Bruce Jenner's vagina. Sure, they can trace the history of the gluteus maximus via one touch, but will that really help greet us at Walmart?
