My stance on remaking classics goes from "fuck you" to "where's the damn sequel?" as these masters of cinema dismember a baker's dozen worth of stunt cocks in a way that would make Tom Savini soil himself in envy.
Apparently looking like a Duck Dynasty stunt double turns you into the Merlin of slaying pussy... and today his expertise is all open-source. Practice what you see here and I promise, those hookers will never LOL again.
Tara Reid's deli butcher titjob, toilet paper in a Walmart bathroom & discounted Hamburger Helper on Craigslist: All things I'd touch before giving Sarah Plain and Cunty free room & board ever fuckin again after this.
Critics are gonna have a barmitzvah with this one, but imma go with faker than Chris Brown's heterosexuality. BUT: nobody got hurt, that discharge wasn't CGI and someone added a cool IMDB credit: Physics Whore #2.
I'm all for women using their genitals to barter for pepperoni but for real, like G.I. Joe PSA kinda real, having your gooch rank lower on Abdul's priority list than a $3.00 tip has gotta hurt the feelies a little bit.
I've seen some questionable shit in my 15+ years of Internetting. Venezuelan dolphin porn, sexually explicit photos of the girl from Precious, 2 minutes of 2016's Ghostbusters. But this? This gave my dick Alzheimer's.
Only 1 thing compliments the smooth stylings of progressive underground Serbian folk music: And that's getting more of a rash on your crotch from the guy you raw dogged, than the toilet. Ya dun good tonight, Babooshka.
From this angle it looks like dude is having sex with an eggplant. But after hearing this chunker bitch up more of a storm than a black woman getting short changed at Golden Corral, I have been convinced otherwise.
You can brag about your 16 pounds of lethal weaponry all you want. If this is wat you choose to do with it, its about as useful as pack of Trojans to a Pokemon Go'r.
As if coming home to a dinner plate full of rice and fried octopus anus wasn't bad enough, Dik tu Small has to lay the smackdown on a woman that isn't content with a single spring roll. The hardships of the working man.
Lunch break goes from puffin cigs, to toying tuna torpedos, as Pam Beesly all but guarantees this brodudeski's hotel stay ends in a 5-star YELP review.
Her i drive a Dodge Caravan & use coupons on Vagisil look is on-point. She's also in need of an orgasm from something not-battery powered. The 'early' chestnut evacuation at :44 is fake. Her IRL desperation is not.
He's got a unique look. Could almost pass for a greeter at an Aspergers-only Hollister. But the compliments end there, cause this being online only sunk his stock faster than Brexit. I can smell the suicide note from here.
My mother was the most beautiful woman I ever saw. All I am I owe to my mother. I attribute all my success in life to the moral, intellectual and physical education I received from her. - George Washington
Concert goes from casual genital appreciation, to a full blown AIDS epidemic when 1 reckless cunt turns her vayjay into a full serve cock carwash. 1 migrant after another get granted VIP access, zero questions asked.
The face of a virgin paired with a twat that's seen the blunt end of a piranha. Sorry lady, but if you expect me to believe this fantasy, you're gonna have to pick yourself up a sewing kit and get to work. Immediately.
If anything my tenure in porno has taught me, it's all Asian women a.) squeal like a chipmunk in a blender or b.) hang closer to the knee than Andrew Lloyd Webber. You're just gonna have to 50/50 chance this one.
Straight outta Tijuana and new to the pickpocket scene, this untrained shit stain stuck his hand on the wrong culo and paid for it big time. His punishment? Humiliation involving all 1.7 inches of his tator tot HAHA
Who the fuck did evolution have in mind when it gifted this vagrant the dimensions of a pool cue? I don't know, but it probably needs more than 3-pack of Colt 45 and beagle ears for tits to take him on @ full power.
