Sofia plops out a double serving of cantalope du jour & straight up doesn't give a fuck that a family member is within punching distance. The perfect woman exists.
I guess having sex isn't exactly considered "challenging" when someone has the alcohol tolerance of a vienna sausage. Lesson learned: Never try to impress a girl that's probably used the neighbor's cat as toilet paper. #germany #whydidifap
The biggest downside of following an all-turnip and gluten free water diet? Your soy boy body produces less testosterone than a chipmunk's nutsac. Speaking of nutsacs - take that fucking thing to biology class & leave it there, Foreman. srsly
Adding battle scars to a girl that gave your boyfriend's sausage roll the ole' khlav kalash and getting it on video? Those are the best things you can live vicariously through the Internet & today 2 birds get killed with 1 Russian #metoo movement.
'i porked my mom' porn takes a turn for the acceptable when miss Cinn takes you back to a time when trading Charizard cards for Alf pogs made sense again. I fap.
Today we're going to learn 3 imporant things, so find your trapper keeper and listen closely: #1: Shamelessness is alive and well. #2: Usage of a pretty girl is negotiable. And #3: A guy shaped like GRU has seen more action than me today.
Most chances of sexual activity flatline after being courted by Mike Myer's stunt double. Not in this guy's world. He refuses to let his disability hold him back and here I am wondering how I can translate all 4 Free Willy films into busting a nut.
That might be Riley Reid. And I might have to come up with an explanation as to why my neighbor's cat is walking with a limp right now. #drugsdrugsdrugs
Don't let the girth-to-length ratios fool you. These girls have zero respect for their reproductive systems and all surrounding upholstery. Such as illustrated by sloot @2:20 going down to the meat bag without as much as a pre-sodomy spit shine.
There's something kinda endearing about a girl that has the pride-to-beauty scale of Romanian hooker. Her talents scream give me 6 months and my asshole will out-perform Mexican cartel footlockers. Clearly we're lookin at wife material here.
Yes, she's 18-years-old... and slightly defective by the look of things. Really not sure what else to say about her. It's just another one of those geeky broads that's taken their obsession with Harry Potter spells a little bit too fucking far to fap.
Only 1 thing compliments the feel of a holiday weekend - And that's getting more rash on your crotch from a guy you salad-tossed in the toilet of a Portuguese farmhouse. Note to those inbreds in the last clip: Just end the bloodline here.
Seems straight-forward to me: Her vageen has the width of printer paper & he's hung like the Houston Rocket's starting lineup. Uncertainty should be expected.
Don't know the movie, don't give a shit either. But I have no doubt this surprise walkout was caused by a combination of: tucked wiener, unkempt rectal regions and chainsmoking the likes of which Alabama trailer parks have yet to experience.
Increasingly questionable video of a threesome that picked the wrong day to be recorded without sound. Don't worry tho, I'm a pro. And it's my personal opinion that at least two of these participants regularly use Midol and Tampax.
You just can't go back after this. She'll forever be known as the super THOT of Bumblefuck Alabama. She's essentially a walking, twitching Reddit activist for open sexuality... yet stays in good spirit knowing this vid is going straight to IG.
Girls in the midwest: theyre usually as exciting an audio book of Al Gore erotic fan fiction. But throw in an exciting subplot & it becomes TOLERABLE FAPPERINOS.
