Technique can redeem just about anything - bad hygiene, irregular tits, liking The Big Bang Theory. But HER? She's got skills like a Chinese flutist & all I can think about is pairing her up with up with this genetic jackhammer.
3 A.M. hookup goes from erotic to i'll kill u motherfucker as Ivan Ivanovitch Ivanovsky starts sticking his custard musket into enemy territory. The hate in her eyes is real. Him promising to keep this home movie a secret is not.
Don't let the impressive tits and hollow brain cavity fool you: Porn is the last place she should be showcasing her talents. More inept intercourse HERE
and by 'moment' I mean the 10 seconds it took for an Ecuadorian hooker to say ADIOS to the gangbang contract and make a run for the door. Only thing missing here is a Mariachi band attempting to cover Cyprus Hill songs.
I wont bamboozle you: this trailer park starter kit is pretty uninspiring. But there's something about girl #2 that speaks to me in a she's sucked dick for chicken nuggets kind of way, and I think it should be shared with the world.
Much like Miley Cyrus after a spirited jog through a petting zoo, you can't trust a damn thing below this guy's waistline. Well... at least she's got pride. Know who doesn't? THIS CREATURE. Kill him, cautiously F-A-P to this.
I'm pretty sure I just came across a new sub-genre here. I shall dub thee Amateur Millennial Mashing. Much like integrity, it can't be taught - only induced. 6 inches of wet spaghetti and Dress Barn managers are required.
Disregard the misleading thumbnail, you'll soon understand it's objective. This is honestly the most baffling shit I've seen since watching Inception on 2 bars of Xanex. Let it be known: eFukt officially got one-upped today.
What once was thought to be a single piss-poor decisions has blossomed into a pattern of mental dysfunction. Lady, I love them tits, but WTFever is going on at 12:18 in that last video requires medical attention. PARTS 1 and 2
Contrary to her appearance, lead-role acting isn't really this girl's specialty. Her BA in theater was more wasted than a Chinese man's pension check in a casino. But all of that's okay when you can see 360 degrees at all times.
Never have I seen a man do something so disrespectful with such grace. Where there's shame, he shows honor. Where there's suffering, he brings comfort. And where there's romance, well... he really doesn't GAF, HAHA.
I'm all for breaking boundaries, but a little caution should be advised. When trying special team plays you saw on the Internet, it's best to practice first. PROOF: The 12 pack of these bastards being Amazon-prime'd to my house.
Cam whore #2817 has an unintentional FML moment after realizing her 6 inch friend has swam into deeper waters. Luckily she's prepared: Squat, push and cross your tits the breakfast burrito bowl doesn't come out with it.
To my ever growing .07% female viewers: put on your bifocals and pay the fuck attention. This is what u DON'T do before getting married. Stay classy & save the dick-crazed cluster fuck swap parties for college girls and India.
Face of a succubus and she knows her way around a gopher hole. Rarely do I admit this, but this chicky is 1 enema away from a Chipotle burrito bowl on my dime. Unfortunately, my desert rose isn't bloomed enough for her taste.
