Akira stuck her ching in the wrong chang, and now this giggly goldfish monger won't be able to get the smell of tuna puree out of her codpiece for months. There goes her budding future as a hostess at T.G.I McFuck Yous.
Name one thing Pierre 'THE MACHINE' Woodman has not yet encountered at the end of his French baguette? If you said radical spinal surgery with a crisp hint of daddy issues, you're pretty much on the right path.
Public climaxing. Doesn't bother to take off her pants. Doesn't care to put down her cigarette. This girl can't give a fuck less about soiling her Victoria Secrets, and I love it. Apathy porn man. That needs to be a thing.
Self-proclaimed thick whisperer and hustler of da hood, Tyrone Brown goes to pound-town on a token BBW-in training with commentary the likes you've never heard outside of an episode of Maury Povich. Just listen.
This ones special. Her face says i only date guys named Lemarcus and i lost my virginity to a vending machine. But from the neck down she has the body of a pornstar. A blind pornstar. From Guatamala. #marryme
Relatively cute face. She could almost pass for Olivia Wilde's asshole. Unfortunately her twat is producing more annoying content than a Buzzfeed article. I can smell the fuckin Pecorino Romano cheese from here.
A democratic acquaintance at Chipotle has long told me African American men and white cops simply don't get along. After seeing Tyrone Kobe Jermaine Javarie get bullied into BBW twat, I understand why.
Skip the trailer for MTV's next show and scroll right to 1:46. That's when Becky II realizes being on her back in the front yard is comfortable territory, and unleashes a kick that sends Becky I leaking to the orthodontist.
The Dating Playbook by Andrew Ferebee. Buy yourself TWO copies. Cause the current approach of turning your dick into a secret item on the Buffalo Wild Wings menu isn't really panning out, brah. More HERE.
You know your stock is circling the drain when the number one flirtation tactic in your arsenal involves a closed fist, and the finest douchebro tanktop in the Macy's 50% off bin. PS: Keep skipping leg day phaggot.
Sorry aspiring gynecologists of America, his animosity for the cervix > your safety warnings. Could someone please email me when they get real adventurous & she ends up impaled by a pool noodle? I'd appreciate dat.
Buttsex is buttsex, I don't discriminate. But I bet you 5 buckaroos that this scallywag had no idea there was an upside to it. I can literally see her slowly transforming from :| to :D with every uppercut to the pancreas.
2 beers turn this rookie into the Jim Lahey of live-in girlfriends. First, she attempts to mark the futon, then she moves to the kitchen to deposit her wonderpuss. I think Budweiser just found itself it's new spokeswoman.
My stance on remaking classics goes from "fuck you" to "where's the damn sequel?" as these masters of cinema dismember a baker's dozen worth of stunt cocks in a way that would make Tom Savini soil himself in envy.
At 1st Im like wow she's naked in Buttfuck Guadalajara. she's totally gonna get the ole chorizo up the cuchara. That worry was totally legit... up until our star got her tits up and and followed rule #22: Know your way out.
Apparently looking like a Duck Dynasty stunt double turns you into the Merlin of slaying pussy... and today his expertise is all open-source. Practice what you see here and I promise, those hookers will never LOL again.
