The Denny's waitress during the day, stripper-at-night starter kit we can tolerate. Shit, we encourage it. But what's not supporting blood flow to my nether regions is a bite mark that may or may not smell like Fixodent.
She lives on EBT cards and her hair is higher priority than toilet paper. How can life possibly get any worse? If you guessed "a vagina that dispenses cockroaches" you just won my limited edition Kelly Clarkson sex doll.
I tend to enjoy the finer things in life: Particularly the McGangbang (look it up), director cuts of Nicholas Cage movies and extreme acts of public intimacy. But as far as complimentary blowjobs go, this just won my heart.
Increasingly fucked up video of a girl that picked the wrong day to commando. Her piss biscuit gets more airtime than a Superbowl commercial & all the guys spectating can do is say "HERE WE GO". ATL's finest.
Rodrigo, you dimwitted fuck. There are 2 things you simply don't mess with in life: #1. Seth Green during his menstrual cycle and #2. Women who willingly pierce their clitoris multiple times. You asked for this one brah.
5+ mins of homemade roleplay victim sex. So faptastic I canceled my dinner date @ Burger King just so I could re-watch it all day. TIP: I cancel 100% grade-F horse meat burgers for nobody. THAT'S how good this vid is.
Fresh out of an Arby's parking lot and new to the ride & glide scene, this spring-loaded slut bounces her way to redneck superstardom. The flannel shirt gourmet knows this isn't porn. It's preparation for a marriage proposal.
Dirty Sanchezes, Donkey Punches - pretty timid stuff by today's Internet-standard. But check out #3. It's unarguably the most repulsive shit I've seen since Jaden Smith's Twitter account.
Tits like a 2x4, anal has a 30 sec time limit and facials send her running. If there's an instructional video out there on what not to do during your first porn scene, I'd recon this derp just paved the way for a sequel.
Have you met a man that could make a Bukkake video totally solo? You're going to today. If ever a time was needed to bring in a camera that shoots 1000 frames per second, it was for a guy that nuts like I urinate.
Marvel in the awe of an ass that's got more bounce in it than the entire WNBA roster. This future wife loves sex like I love slightly discounted irregular Oreo cookies.
For those that don't speak nachos grande, here's the scoop: The evolutionary cul-de-sac you're looking at is Beshine. At 20 lbs a piece, she holds the record for biggest mistakes on Earth, Jupiter and Deep Space 9.
Perhaps my logic is flawed, but you'd think a girl with a b-hole no bigger than a marble would be against back door admittance. But as you can see she's either a witch, or her rectal cavity is in fact David Copperfield.
Pair of dudes go in for the oral but end up in a sword fight instead. Accidental collisions I understand. The homosexual equivalent of a bro fist @ 15:46 I do not.
Twerking: Mastered by black girls, pure nightmare fuel when Sally gets down. But am I the only one who sees the danger here? 1 wrong move & her skeletal structure will have more breaks than a Mexican landscaper.
Self-entitled college mid-carder finds her braless flapjacks on a website and has a shitfit. By the 2nd threat of litigation I had already forgotten what flavor of IHOP syrup I'd cover those punching bags with.
Los Hermanos de Butt Sex have been assigned a mission: Leave no hole unfilled. Any first-year college girl can pull off a DP, but it takes a special kind of slut McNugget to endure this assault & live nightmare-free.
He's got a 7.5 inch ham slammer and she dances like Jennifer Lopez after an afternoon at the gynecologist. Some people out there might say this cut off before the best part. I say mom did them a fucking favor.
For a minute there I was starting to lose faith in white female's ability to keep me entertained. Then I was introduced to a vagina with more bounce in it than Spalding has ever produced in 50 years. #WIN
Congratulations! You just disobeyed 50 generations of strict sexual guidelines to give southern white males their biggest erections since the Michael Brown verdict.
