The face of a ladyboy, tummy of Tara Reid, and a
rear-end that only a visually impaired African American could love. Okay, that was mean. I do look forward to seeing you in the XXX remake of Elephant Man though.
Interesting surname. Was it chosen out of love for the search engine... or the busboy at the Panda Express where she clearly binge ate chicken chow mein tridaily? Scroll down, watch last video and you'll understand.
Genius idea, poor execution. People want to see a petite Hispanic with a greasy asshole ride that bike through a swap meet. Not Ned Flanders in Fuckstick, Tennessee. Now apologize to your Walmart denim.
$4 and a zip folder of sexually suggestive photos of House M.D. says this dude gets recognized. Sorry friend, the glory days of you wearing your daughters underwear as a Mexican wrestling mask are over.
and by 'gangbang' I mean one sexually inept man losing his virginity while Carlos Mencia's 72 cousins spectate. The only thing missing is a Mariachi band and one token black guy repeatedly screaming "worldstar".
Good call on the medical grade latex gloves. Those wheelchair-bound, mentally incapacitated boys are notorious for their legions of sexual partners. You just dodged herpes, AIDS, maybe even breast cancer.
Kinda funny how she's griping about the instability of her implant. I'd be more concerned with the fact that even when it's correctly in place... it still looks like something out of an episode of Masters of Horror.
No seriously. The thumbnail doesn't even come close to doing this epically breasted beaner justice. She has titties like Hulk Hogan has male pattern baldness. TBH I'd suck the Nacho Supreme out of her shithole.
Apparently this is Bailey Jay, the Vita Don Teese of chicks w/ dicks. I'm not so sure. Some will look at this and see a beautiful shemale, all I see is that goofy fuck from Saving Silverman.
She looks fine in the first pic, but if you keep scrolling down... it becomes pretty apparent who her parents are. Mother: Eva Mendez. Father: fucking Gonzo from Sesame Street. LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL.
This is her 3rd anal tattoo. First 2 featured the names of her ex-lovers. Hey lady, men come and go. How about for this 3rd one you get something that won't be changing anytime soon - "stupid pug-faced whore".
Is this really Paris Hilton? No, what you really should be asking is: if Amy Winehouse was to spread open her pussy lips, would it be visually liken to pulling apart the bread of a grilled cheese sandwich?
Holy fuckin inverted shiitake mushroom. There's only 2 things capable of making a man's asshole look like that. One involves Wesley Snipes and a dimly lit room, the other is called Wienerschnitzel. May god have mercy.
There's a very thin line between making love and balls-deep cornholio slaughterage. Where that line lies, I do no know, but I can sure as fuck tell you this greasy Estonian sure as fuck crossed it.
Pleather choker, glow in the dark nail polish, and an occasional bitch slap weaker than the walls of Richard Simmons's rectum. I haven't seen this level of intensity since Leprechaun 4: In Space.
63 minutes of painal. This shit is so faptastic I actually canceled my dinner date @ Del Taco just so I could watch the whole fuckin thing. PROTIP: I cancel Del Taco for no one. THAT'S how good this video is.
Nice tits. Nice body. But what really sold me was the low mileage turd cutter. Take a good look. No wrinkles, no stains. It's nothing more than a mere dot, so cute you'd almost forget Cocoa Puffs come out of there.
