Go ahead and scroll to the 1:56 mark. And fuck it, while you're there; Stay for 3:08. I can picture Burger King fighting White Castle to buy ad space between the two.
I'm not sure the whole 'gyrating like your uterus is getting jumped by a Ford F150' thing is still profitable. But fuck me running if it isn't entertaining. Strap a smock on the girl at 0:37 and Home Depot can kiss their paint mixing machines goodbye.
Beyond 19-years-old and doesn't know proper rectal entry positions. But what she lacks in anatomy, she makes up for in... well... nothing. The future spinal ruptures tell me we won't be seeing the sequel to "Karens Krapper: Volume 1.5" this year.
Unfuckinbelievable dimensions on some of these hog riders. Even pre-lockdown erections would be lined up around the block just to be in the same zip code as some of these high mileage spring loaded pudding hatches. A man needs names.
Her tit-to-face ratio is insane. Literally carved right out of the blueprint for "girls I would give up red meat just to be in the same room as one of her brappers after a solo speed run of Olive Garden's Tour of Italy". In other words; I fucks with it.
Normally I'd prefer my meat beat content to have as little to do with Al Bundy as possible. But Daddy Cockblock going for the jugular was just too good to pass up.
A Manson Family Hanukkah special is 1 thing I expected to see long before someone mastered the art of hands-free ejacuatlions. Now next time do it in the palm of a guy named Carlos. It's called the Puerto Rican Panhandle, I invented it.
Honestly I have no clue who Nina Zrenjanin is, nor do I feel like sacrificing 14 seconds to Google translate Swedish Yiddish into Americano. But judging by the amount of raw meat here, it's safe to say she's not famous for being vegan.
Maybe it's the 2021 meta, but imagine going from freebasing homemade tartar sauce from Paula Deen's family style recipe book... to getting e-grounded by Twitch for blueballing Minecraft SIMPS rofl. #neversubbed #neverdonated
Face like Billie Eilish
Tits like a GTA create-a-character
Sex drive like she's in a union for ass-eating
Gentleman: Meet your newest reason to get a restraining order.
Short list of things I value in life: Cottonelle Ultra Comfort Care and dedicated females like this one in particular. Tack on the fact that she can handle more wang than a Chinese phone book and we may be talking literal perfection here.
Nearly 21-years-old and still doesn't know how to lock a door. But what she lacks in basic logic, she makes up for in grade-AA prime meat - full rack. And for just $100 in donations per day, you can mod her chatroom around the clock. #2021
Flattery was never my strong point... and it still isn't. Why do I get the vibe she bathes in hot dog water after being force fed off the Burger King dollar menu?
Apologies in advance for the misleading thumbnail. I just wanted to make sure we're all on the same page when it comes to defininig the word "titties" and how they should look as little like the ramp Tony Hawk hit his last Ollie 540 on.
HER: Looks like she trades sex for tiktok views
HIM: Looks like he knows how to hotwire a forklift
Some love stories are just designed for happy endings.
Another entry for the museum of unintentional rectal breaching. 3.5 mins of backdoor bruising that white people should only experience inside the CHAZ zone. Only diff is the people in this vid actually put meat inside their bodies lol.
I'll leave you with some wisdom my acquaintance at Taco Bell bestowed upon me: Never underestimate a woman's will to feed. She might have the phenotype of a Midwest soccer mom... but when the adrenaline hits, watch the fuck out.
