Jell-o has spent over 130 years trying to market jiggle like this and have seemingly failed miserably. Turns out all you need is a one-bedroom apartment in Lithuania and growing up without a father to really capture maximum chlamydia velocity.
Seeing a condom in one of these random hookup videos is actually becoming a rare occurrence. Both Mountain Dew and Plan B thank you for your contributions.
Social media misfit suffering from the combo of attention whoring & bug-eyed bitch syndrome performs the unhealthiest act of eroticism I've witnessed since girl_shits_herself_at_limp_bizkit_concert.mp4. Didn't see that one? ur missing out.
A public service announcement on the cons and cons of searching for discounted hookers lurking in Craigslist's general section. If the intimate relationship with $5 scratch off tickets doesn't erect your cock, the aroma of Newport Menthols will.
Thought were gonna make it 3 volumes of woman decorating their reproductive systems with everything not bolted down at Home Goods, and not get a visit by the only pornstar that could land a Dyson sponsorship? You thought wrong.
Not the plan of attack I recommend you try on the misses. But when you're Mimi Cica, anything that doesn't run on a turbo diesel engine seems to be fair game...
Step sister, third cousin, disabled mental patient that smells like expired mashed potatoes; You degenerates can label this video with whatever tags you want, nothing short of contracting buttpox is stopping a dive below that waistline.
She's not exactly equipped with a porn poker face. So when the director screams action, you know that corpsing smile is authentic. Reminiscent of a reoccurring dream I keep having involving Kirstie Alley and Long John Silver’s Cocktail Sauce.
Probably just reached drinking age and is already setting the bar too high for the other Insta-THOTS to jump over. I don't know if I should be disgusted, or slide in those DM's and ask for group discounts. According to this footage, they do exist.
Willing humiliation, being choked unconscious and receiving more hits than one of those bullshit primitive building channels. No, it's not Connor's return to the octagon. But it's still gonna cost you $79.99 if her 1st name has a hyphen in it.
Dude being completely naked down to his feet has to be noted here. A proponent for personal freedom, or reducing drag in order to achieve maximum velocity?
Most 19-year-olds work their way into college and learn trigonometry. Others are in it for the networking. Me? I moved to skidrow and documented hobos smoking meth and performing communal rimjobs. A revolutionary concept at the time.
If that isn't the look of a girl that's admitted to losing her virginity to a mailbox, I don't know what is. Now get your ass back to changing room #3 and clean up. Not even China Buffet exposes their customers to substances this retched.
Coors Light expert zones out her surroundings just long enough to focus on better things. I.E. getting a faceful of Kentucky's finest directly into her minge. I'm waiting for the sequel. The one where Lester makes a b-line for that b-whole.
This is standard im having a quarterlife crisis so I'm gonna filter the shit out of my face and make a TikTok account syndrome. Fortunately for us, the Internet gives the gift of social media to bridge the eventual gap into Walmart parking lot porn.
For the 99.3% of the world that gives less than a shit about the TikTok hierarchy; That's Bella Poarch in the thumbnail. And the right side is the end result of some giga SIMP feverishly finishing his and/or her weekly dose of Ritalin in a single day.
7 (read: seven, as in the number of times I've been kicked out of Burger King for "unnecessary use of a urinal") acts of public lewdness not even I suggest copying, especially that last one. Let's just say: Raging Waters will never be the same again.
Today we go on a journey to a time forgotten. Shoutout to Julian for being a role model during my college years. That man's lust for turning fallopian tubes into tier-3 tuna casserole should have earned the Martha Stewart seal of approval.
Willingly humiliated, nearly choked unconscious and takes more shots than Floyd Mayweather during a 12 round championship bout. No, it's not Connor's return to the octagon. But it's still going to cost you $59.99 if her 1st name has a hypen in it.
Found this gem in comments: "He has basketball shorts on with no underwear and I am so distracted by his big fat monster dick print that I am on the ground from a hard punch before I know it and he is taking my phone and running away"
