This is standard im having a midlife crisis so I'm gonna Photoshop the shit out of my tits and make an IG account syndrome. Fortunately, the Internet has given us the gift of social media to watch the eventual jump into Walmart parking lot porn.
These dude's affinity for I lick the toilets at Publix for fun porn is off the fucking charts. I mean seriously - Imagine getting more typcasted than Jason Statham, in the adult world. P.S. Anyone else have a sudden urge to order chimmichangas?
Former chaturbate streamer bestass930, currently M.I.A. And possibly the only online alias that didn't double as clickbait. I know men that would give up red meat just to be in the same room as 1 of the farts stored inside that masterpiece.
Infuckincredible. I'd literally give up all 5 of my Hot Cheeto bags if she could teach my girlfriend how to pull this one off without the assistance of a golf cart battery.
Her claim to fame is a little bit questionable, and that living room probably smells like a Guatemalan litter box... But the visual at the 4:31 mark makes her look like she just got done finger-banging Danny Devito's prarrot and it's fucking glorious.
#nostalgia Just scroll to 1:22 and remember what it was like when the only thing that mattered in life was how low you could get your ping on a 56k modem, and your stock of BAWLS GAMER JUICE. Truly a simpler time for a simpler world.
I would've have picked a different song - but that ear hammering is a small price to pay so we may witness the kind of vertical inhaling Dyson would be proud of.
#21 is the one you're looking for. Quite possibly the most impressive pair of grass-fed sweater cows that will ever grace your 13" Hewlett Packard computer monitor.
She may come up short on words, but those facial expressions definitely tell a story. Specifically "yup, this is my life now", "i hope i get Instagram followers" and my personal favorite: "do i rly fuck like a piece of expired celery?" P.S. NICE ASS
It's still 2020. If you don't believe this power would eventually be used to drive at least one golf cart up the rectal cavity of a Door Dash driver, then you just aren't paying attention man. So enjoy it now, while you can cum without permission.
I'm not totally sure what the fuck is going on around the 1:10 mark... and I'm not sure I want to know what zoo she needs to be returned to before sunrise. #russia
Do I believe she faked being sick just so she could OnlyFans her asshole into a hospital bed for 44 seconds of Internet clout? Yes. Welcome to the year 2020.
I believe the youngsters around the AOL chat rooms call this "going hard in the paint". Check my myspace for more kool memes & be sure 2 like and subscribing.
The downside of adopting an all-kale diet and moderating Reddit forums? Every uterus in your rolodex gets socialized like Chinese healthcare. And don't even get me started on the amount of Amibos you have to stock up on to stay relevant.
Take a culture that considers Rick and Morty comedy, crossbreed them with an addiction to experimental street drugs & this is the result. I haven't seen someone this confused w/ the flavor in their mouth since Wendys started selling breakfast.
As fate would have it, combining the genetics of a 1st-world pornstar and modern technology yields impressive results. Now if you'll excuse me I have to take a 7-second jump roping class and gouge my fucking eyes out with a melon baller.
