Not since using that glory hole in a Carl's Jr. bathroom have I witnessed a girl with such brilliant multitasking ability. She's got grace man. Know who doesn't have grace? THIS DYKE. Home Depot that hoe, jack to this.
Olive oil hair gel, tit jewelry, all-gold-everything: You'd think a girl with this degree of stereotyping would like pain. TIP: She don't. teh dingdong hits her sphincter like a sac of Aladdin VHS tapes, then it's ADIOS DOLLARINOS.
If only she put as much effort into real porn as she did into the Full House of scripted prank TV, maybe I'd feel proud about filling up that 6 pack of tube socks with homemade ranch dressing. But I don't. FULL VERSION
1 Little Ceaser's employee attempt to take a stand against camwhore exploitation doesn't go as planned. He went for the fuzzy doughnut, he was stripped and sent home instead. Another win for the token twins.
One of Chernobyl's second generation offspring proudly displays his self-described one-eyed tuna trawler, an unfortunately authentic title for what might be the most WTF-worthy video you'll see today. Or not...
Deprived girl volunteers her noodle bowl on Craigslist to anyone w/ legs, free of charge. But instead of spacing out the locally unemployed, she hits one after another w/o as much as a Summer's Eve bath in between. #RIP
Talk about bait and switch. Listen Riku, when it comes time to blow my nickles on backpage.com, the last thing I want my mouth on is more udders than pregnant Jack Russel Terrier. Nip/Tuck that shit, kthx.
Is this a real 'bring your daughter to work day' vid? Not with HER attitude. If you want us to believe the family picnic is real, despair is a prerequisite. Same goes for moisturizer and the Aladdin soundtrack. GET 'ER DUN.
Dude's got a knack for tossing sauce... and apparently he's been stockpiling for a week 'cause even a certified cocksmith wasn't expecting to put in overtime hours today. Not much of a talker, but she sure can squawk!
James Randi said it couldn't be done. Man vs. Wild won't do an episode on it. But thanks to Alexis Perez we now have solid proof that if your clitoris has been neglected by daddy long enough, anything is possible.
The 'celeb' section gets less action than a transgender feminist faking menstrual cycles during a monster truck rally. If these skankaroonies don't start making better use of their genitals, I might shitcan the entire thing.
This tart is a total tramp, but her talents aren't limited to crossing sexual preferences. Get a solid view of that anus and you'll be treated to the all you can eat brown buffet: 2 words Samantha: BUTT BLEACH. Run wit that.
Pretty erotic amirite? Too bad she's not really his sister. This is pornstar Naomi Woods. Not familiar with her line of work? Let me put it this way: That clam shell has serviced more cocks than an Oklahoma dairy farm.
The paramount collection (read: 8 JPGS) of a girl oblivious to gentleman around the world soiling their bicycle shorts to her Facebook account. Maybe I'm alone here, but I'm seeing tough love across the board.
Akira stuck her ching in the wrong chang, and now this giggly goldfish monger won't be able to get the smell of tuna puree out of her codpiece for months. There goes her budding future as a hostess at T.G.I McFuck Yous.
Name one thing Pierre 'THE MACHINE' Woodman has not yet encountered at the end of his French baguette? If you said radical spinal surgery with a crisp hint of daddy issues, you're pretty much on the right path.
